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Show Glando-Bosworth Crisis Is Past By KITCHEL PI XI J : (Our Own Spedol Correspondent) MOGADORE, Nov. 2D. L's leadin" ! citizens is relieved of danger from bavin goat glands transplanted Into us tj gi' pen and vigor to th- town. .Mrs Bosworth. council president boa withdrew her gland ordinance. You see. a chemist up at Ogden heerd of our rlando-Bdsworth dllem-mer dllem-mer and comes down here to soothe-us soothe-us with a tablet that's a substitute ior pland operations. Vim and vitality, git up and git, social friskiness, even dare deviltry them was that tablet's irtues. - It sure looked like rescod from the BOBWOrth squirt gun full or glanrl juice and we persuades Mrs. President Bosworth Bos-worth and her council Into a conTei-ence. conTei-ence. That chemist was a eloquent critter, and he talks tne goat gland council into agrecin' to suspend its ordinance or-dinance till the effects of his tablets Is actooaley seen in respect of vim. vigor, pep. etc. That throws us leadin' citizens into a secret caucus a3 to who shall try them tables, First thing, OSWell Southing, who husent spoke to me since 1 kept his chickens out of my garden with fish hooks baited witn corn, gits up and nominates me as bein' Bp darn vilhleSS as to test tablets Loaded with No. 6 giant powder, What ensoo'-d is jicrsortal. but we linaiiy unanimously elected Lem A:-water, A:-water, our reUred town drunkard. Lemuel has a unlrnpeached repute for beinj; poison-proof, anyhow, and I we overcomes his moral scrooples by getting the chemist to state thai them tablets Is i" per cent condensed alcohol. alco-hol. JLem has always preferred 10U per cent, but he figures thcrt 10 tun s ten tablets is 100 per cent, downs that many tablets with a blissful expression, expres-sion, and wo dt-parta for home. Nine a. m next day. Main street sounds like one of them fftney cat -dog rooster shows. Veils and Shrieks and curses makes up the ozone. Down the street comes L-m, his tablets workln' in high. Low and intermedial' Meet" in the Rpv. William Barnes ot First Church, Lem yells "Pep! Whoop! Pep: iv.p" tries to make him Jazz dance and when he won't slaps his face till his teeth rattles. "Vigor! Vitality! Whoopely-whoop whoop!" yells Lem and dashes Into M'lle O'Bryanne's beauty parlor, sticks her up in her window as a stylo model, uca .md kisses all her female i lerkS and comes forth llin' "Vim's the stuff Whco-op!" 0 Lord! at C-th-st he runs plumb agin Mrs. President Bosworth. i guess there's tome lovc-slckness ingreedi-cnts ingreedi-cnts in them tablets. Anyhow. Lem promptly clasps her to his bosom, lowers low-ers her to the curl stone and ;oes to huggln' and klssln her furious, and she kickln and hoolln llko a circus c;i-llope. c;i-llope. You bet us leadh ' eltlzens leaves her rescoo to the police. j Tlet SVenln' a committee of ua, meek and lowly like, calls on Mrs Bosworth to report that thero seems considerable go in them tablets. "Git off my porch"' she roar. "What you old critters need Is liauy;-In." liauy;-In." But She's withdrew her gland ordinance or-dinance 1 don't suppose none of you editors know the relief it is tp go home at niicht and lay your head down by th-taat th-taat the rising sun will see you tryln' f wife of your bosom without any fear to outrun a surgeon with a (ratlin gun .full of goat glands, do you'.' |