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Show (HECTIC 1 1 r HASH n By O. Q. I SIGHT AXI) SKE3V. i-ome people arc so narrow they can look through a keyhole with hoth ej They see their own virtues through a magnifying RiaSS and their faults through the wronR end of a tele- X( ope When they should be fores!g;hted thej ar tarsighted A visit to the oculist would correct cor-rect their distorted vision. a Which recalls the story of nn I k-den k-den spei ialist. A woman rich In years had rover worn Rlassfs Fler failing sight made It difficult to i ead the newspaper One day urn consulted con-sulted the oculist She was fitted with spectacles and at nrst wa over Joyed with the results .. few days. Ia!fr sh was hack In the oculist's Office. 'Take hack your glasses. ' she told the specialist Now. whots the matter?" ho asked her I cant stand It. she said. 'I n vcr lifore knew how Ugly mv husband was I . I I M . . " " i "' in nuinc i lounu ., new man In the house Ills face was wrinkled and worried So, h a . hange and homely oh my! When I took off the Klasses he was transformed and became the man 1 had always known And that's the way I int to remember him." The mountains too. had changed To her Wasatch peaks had been rounded Through th glasses they had become rugged and strange. Science that had assuaged the ailments ail-ments of thousands could not alio -late the troubles of one woman N'ow the dris are embroidering I heir names on their hosiery. Whit thv should put on Is their telephone number Remember 'way .back when the merchant used to throw in a pair of suspenders or a necktie with a suit of clothes? Alexander, to the men, means a chap who throws the ball. To the women, a guy who throws the bull w I 'own where the bill -but sings bis song. i "A 'skin' I'd love to touch.'' says the merchant when tht check came back marked 'Ins " - . A girl with a thick skin can never see a Joke; not even herself Another Joke 'Calfskin shoes." "I've never seen a skin I'd wood over." remarked the envious ton. I How about onion skin? Tom Levan.a Bostonlan was struck down by an undertakers hears, the Hub City, the other day. Business Busi-ness must be bail There are two sides to every o,uei-tion o,uei-tion In case of a strike there aro three and the third side the public always loses, whichever way the solution so-lution turns. "Tour husband Is in jail charged with being drunl: He wants vou to ball him out " The woman, however, was equal to the occasion "If that's ur husband ou couldn't pump him out." STORK VISITED WHOLE FARM i ne sioi k visited tlx rami In Thomas Thom-as Moore. Xorth Carolina. in four places the same night Mr. Slork'6 tirst slop was In Moore's home. There the much discussed bird left a bab bo Then he stopped in the cowshed and left a pretty calf. After that ho flew over the doghouse and left a lit-j Cer of pups. He also paid a visit to I the chicken shed, because Moore sas one of his hens whs strutting about the yard with 10 little chicks strolllngl behind her the next morning. A pret- t srood night s work for Mr. Stork tv good night's kork for Mr. Stork -I Capper's Weekly |