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Show I SWAN AND THE EXPEDITED FREIGHT I By 0. A. Kennedy fH When my friend, Swan Swanson. th k H Ms sheepman; coiqm riotiously into mj K!H office, slams the door, plumps him M clf down In the best chulr and plact b both his feet on my desk. I know thai aH ho Is at peace with all the world aiJ M the feed on the rango la fine. 1 But when he comes In softly, wall; H Infc on his toes, like i mountain lion H stalking an antelope, takes a seat QU!et H ly opposite inc. leans across the d.tX JWmt 1aniftxofl me with his cold blue cye nd says, slowly and thunderously, 1 )"ay" then I knew that things iiave ponn wronsr with his universe. H Swan is a Swede, and proud of It. : He Is six feet, two Inches hign and a Br lineal dosrvmlcnt of thosi H (roths and Vandals who caused tho fefiH downfall of the Roman Empire, or, SrfH perhaps, of those Vikings, who used to delight In burning towns along trie IBIS coast of England, and In "slngeinK the H beard of the King of Spain." HLH If Swan had lived In those days he HH would have done the name think. HB But living In the 20th century and BE -XI m Ctah. with all the above wealth of f Inherited tendencies, he Is sheep- H man, who ranges his sheep In Idaho 9 one year and jji T'tah, Nevada, or H Wyoming the following year, accoro- H Ing to the relatixe aggressiveness of g quarantine officers and forest rangers. SOKT OF IMIMAFMTI. Since he Is a sheepman, he Is a sort "iv fll of Ishmaelltu. having his hand against 1 every man, and every man's hand ngalnst him. Much of his time Is spent In fight- . . Ing damage suits and In dodglr.g the HSrfr! county assessors of four states. His natural enemies are cattlemen. ftWml homesteaders, wool buyers, wood tlCKM, f cayotes and iiylroads, and he knows how to hate. Today he hna a special grlevan'- JEf against woolbuyers. and as he tumbles! mifM In his Inside coat pocket for a bunch MK of letters, he expresses his opinion of Pm the whole wool-buying fraternit With jjaL a fervor that causes all the typewm- P'BbP Ing machines In the mljoinlng office to suddenly stop clicking. I lead him artfully away from the subject of dealers In wool, and men-A men-A tlon railroad freight rates, and delays W In transit. Swan brightens up, "I fetched the WLM old I'nlon l'acific ti time one trip, all right' he announced JPfl "Brought a law .suit'"' I suggesten. HH "Law suit, nothin'' I just fetched 'em to time, that's all Thoy Just went a little too far and I called 'em down and called 'em down hard. "It was one year 1 loaded eight cars of wethers, at Sody Springs. Idaho. HD They was Just Introducing them double Hl decked cars for shipping sheep, and ( 'j they were fine, with places for ttic Y sheep to be fed and watered. 1 "My scheme waa to ship rlgliti Hl throuKh to Omaha, if the market! Hl stayed up; otheiwlse to unload at Pld-j HJ ney, Nebraska, and put 'em in a pas- Hg ture. which I had done the year te- HV fore. But what did them railroads! HE do? . R9 "First the Oregon Short Line lei MC them cars stand at the loading pens for 24 houta before they touched em! r. J at all The station agent explained IjkfM that I. was a busy time and the road Tl was short of motive DOWi - I wat rns his sm:i r PB T " I n n 1 1 y we got Started I Pt of a M load freight train and doi dered along : across the line Into Wyoming, and I E down the roail to Granger on t li. I'nlon Ifl Pacific Then laid there for six hours, I pao my sheep water, -.nr. M after awhile they made up a new train 9m that they said we to be expedited'' Wm "Expedited means that we would Tc In Rawlins In six hours, so they said. WMa Bui we had a hot box, and delayed at tSmR Point of Rocks for two hours. Then WSp Wf 13.1(1 out at Black Butte three hou:, waiting for the Overland Limited t2 get by. When we reached Kaw;:n-, X9f ino shap were looking bad, so I fea EK them hay, and gave them water. e JjlSI pulled out lor the east, this time pare gHL of a local freight aK.iin. Well, sir, we M foob') along, Btopplng at this place to V ' pick up a car, topping at the next place to leave a car, stopping at the fl next station to unload something out lof the way car, and my sheep lor:n f weight all the time. I ''Well, we were J houra gettm i :. to il Cheyenne, and I was asleep in thv l caboose when we got there. Tlmr 1 I ; got thoroughly awake and renlized v.-hrf wo was. a switch nRlne comes 'nnd hooks on to my four cars and i nway It goes. T asked the yardmaster where they were olng with those cars. , Taking them to the stock yards.' he aays. 'What for ." I asrd. 'Why aay3 , h 'you're going to food hero, alnt you"' I " 'What's the price of hay?' I arked 1 him. Twenty dollars,' he says. " 'Well,' says I I'll not feed any of It. That's two dollars better than Rawlins, Raw-lins, but its still too rich for my blood.' " 'Tho sheep need feeding,' says he " 'They can stand it till we get to Sidney where hav is only ten dollars,' I told him. snor.T OF POWER I " 'Ton wont be able to get out of ( here before tomorrow noon. They ar-thort ar-thort of motive power.' Samo old I thing I had been hearing ever since We started. I "I studied awhile. I never war any hand to waste time arguing n llh clerk?, and other chaps, s I Knt my valise out of the caboose and started down the track towai I rn depot. " 'Where you going?' ho says. "I told him I was go'.ng to see th? superintendent of ttie iU'Js'.on. " 'The old man Is out on thr road: Alnt expected back until sometime to night.' " 'I am going to Sidney this afternoon after-noon with my sheip." I says. "He grinned. I puess ho had seen stockmen get exjcltcu befor-?. "When I found the superintendent's office. It was a big room up stairs ln the depot. There was a counter across. that cut off about a third of the roon: a place as big as this off'.o. and bad' of the counter was more than r do ei I clerks writing nt tables and desks anc I running typewriters. "There wr.s a voting feller standing I at tho counter Writing f--mc',.'iing m ti book, and I ?av9 o h'm, 'Is the bos: j In' "He went on writing for about a minute without lookinc up, laid :. blot-ter blot-ter on what he had wrote, and snut I the book, and stuck It under tne 'counter, and then he B&ys, What did j you say?' " 'WThere is the boss?' I says again. " 'Do you refer to the Division fcvip-I fcvip-I erlntendent?' he aiys. " 'I want to see the head man of th t hole push.' I says ' 'The superintendent is out on the line,' says, he. very dignified " 'Well, who Is the boss of tho works when his nibs is away?' siys I, and I set my valise up on the counter. "He called to a man at a desk ana says 'Will you come here. Mr. Johnson John-son V "We ll this Mr. .lohnson was a youn; man. but. he hail an old look, gray hair, and wrinkles on his face H" was nar sighted and wore glas-ses and talked quick &a chain lightning. " 'What is it?' he sas "I started to toll hlm'what I wanted. " Can't do it.' he snanned before 1 I got half way through, We are short of motive power I haven't any idea W'hen we can get you out, maybe not before tomororw noon.' SW s insists "'I want to go on to Sidney right now' I says. - You said that before." he says. " 'I am saying it again,' says I. "Then he changed his tactics a little "Now , you had better bo reasonable, and Just unload your sheep nnd give them a good feed, and wo will do the best we can to move them at an earlv date.' " Now lock here,' I soys. 'Them I sheep has'been three days coming from Sody. I am tired of thi3 monkey business." busi-ness." j "He threw up his hands. 'Well, there ain't anything I can do about it.' "Well Jus; then one of tho clerks hd mad an oTrnse to come to I the counter, discovered my name andii address on my valise and he says, "Oh, you're from I'tah. Mr. Swanson.' ' I didn't say nothing, anil then they began. You know how It runs. Was f i Mormon? I told them I Waa Why, they had always supposed Mormons had horns and all that tommy-rot. "Well. I kept good-natured. By this time fhr were five of them lined up behind the counter, leaning on their dhow ind prlnninK and ever) clerk in the room was llstenlrit ' One of them wanted to know hor. many wives I had. I tried to talk about the sheep, but they wanted to know about polygamy. I told them all the polygs were dead, but a fev. eld ducks that soon would be. and then 1 say3 'Here, I want to Vnow what you are going to do about my sheep.' " 'They always feed em here." says the head man " 'Ixok here, oung feller,' I says. 'I've been with these sheep practically every day since they wis born, burning up on the desert and freezing at night on the mountains, and I know what they can -'anil They don't need no more feed than what they got in the cars now. There's nothing to talk about but getting them down to Sidney Sid-ney rlgnt away.' " Then says he you va.l better come around ln the morning .-.nil see the superintendent, Mr. Swancon.' "The way ho said 'Mister' Swanson set all the other clerks i"nlc;;erln, and settled It with me BIG HEAVY CHAlR.'i "There were five chairs in front of the counter, big heavy oak office Chairs, the kind that's always painted yellow with rod and black str pes. and T began and arranged them chairs n a row abovit a foot apart extending from the counter to the door. Then I opened the door w ide open, anil amr back to the first chair in front of the counter. I 'I says, i 'im going to give you fellows a chance to hoar what I think i of you find your darned old double i streak of rust," and 1 picked up the first chair in my left hand and the ' second chair In my right hand. I was so mod that them blr.- office chairs i was as cay for mo to handle as that j lead pencil Is for you. J "Then I bejran t talk I have been j around mining camps, and cow Cimps land cheep camps all my life, and what il ha".en't heird In the way of rro-I rro-I far.lty and cuss words generally alnt worth knowing, nnd for the- next five I minutes I called that bunch all tne mean, vile names 1 nnd ever heard any-hpdy call anybody else, and t added some of my own get-up. All tne while holding a chair ready to fire it into tho middle of tho bunch at the j first move. I And they never whimpered By this i time every clerk v-'-s on his feet and ready to dodge behind a desk or table And everyone of them was white in tho j face. They knew i had 'cm There was no way to get out of the room, OXCepI to to past me, and I had five I chair.- to throw. I "The five fellows behind the counter kept ;teprlng back and Htepplng back and opening their eyes a little wider every minute, and I was Just r ill Ing along with the awfulest string of cuss words you can Imagine, wrjm I hoard a .voice behind me say, "What's carry- I Ing on here ?' "I turned around oulck and right behind mo was a man that had Just come In through u side door, am! tne minute I s: v him I knew it was tho Superintendent, for he was a big man. almost as tall as I am. with the biggest big-gest shoulders I ever saw on a man. He had a big head, and he had a way of holding his head down like a bull nnd looking at you through his eve-brows. eve-brows. " 'What's the trouble here''' he eavs, pronouncing each word slow and distinct dis-tinct with little pauses between the words. "1 et the chairs down nnd stood and looked nt him, and couldn't say a word I felt like a Utile bos thai had been kr tched ln some kind ot mischief bj his pa. TJllCIl one of the clerks spok up nd he says. 'Tlra here N Mr Swanson 1 1 from Sody. Hen Rot four cars' "Mr Swanson from Utnh." another I clrk tMiys, correcting the first. That flrrd me up a;aln nnd I I wheeled on 'cm. Shut up I says nnd I I (Tabbed a chair. Well. sir. they! had all Hteprpd up to the counter j' ngnln when the boss camo in and When j I jumped for 'em every mother's con dropped to the floor out of slffht. ' I turned to the boss nnd I says, I 'I'll explain this thing to vou, nnd I lon't need any help from them tellers.' "He stood there a full two minutes, I not gnjninp h word, or ch.inglmc face. ' but his eyes kept twlnklinK, and he I finally says 'Just step Into my private I office, Mr. Swanson.' I set down the chair .ind followed ; him into the nxt room. He sat down : to a big-, rolltop desk, and I took n chair opposite to him, n I told him ; ull aboti )t. He never asked a qurs- 1 tlon- He seerped to understand wlth- out asking. He wnn't any harder to. talk to than you are. 'After while he reached over and pre-Merl his thumh on a button, and in 1 comes Mr Johnson, smilinp. nnd Just as pleasant M basket cf chips " Johnson!' says the Superintendent, 'don't you think we can arrange to shove Mr Swanson and his sheep down to Sidney thla ::f ternoon .' "Johnson siys. "I don't see how It can he doti sir." ) " 'Nonsense. Johnson, you never will . learn railroading T'.e company simply I can't afford to delay Mr. Swanson here ln Cheenne any longer ;:nd have J him l.reak up r-.M the office furniture I Order out an extra train crew ' 'Hut we are short on motive power.' ' There's the morine that lust pulled my car in. It's In Rood trim, for the I run. use my special car for a caboose. Make a train up .-md we'll send it out ; as a second sretlrn of the Overland. Limited. The Limited must be coming com-ing ln now. ' John started out. " 'And say. Johnjop.'1 he says 'Mr. Swanson and I are pri:ir down to the dining room to get a little bite to eat, and vOu'll find us there ' 'We'll I had dinner with the S iper-1 Intendent at a table that he said was 1 always reserved for him. Lunch, he I called it, and he nvor Bald a soM I about Utah, or polygamy, "r the Mormons Mor-mons Just talked railroading rni hrep, nnd th" troubles between the: IsheSpmSn and ca'tleinf-n, arid when he' was through and I went to pay. he j -ays, That's all ri?ht. this Is charged I to me,' and he wouldn't have It any j other way. "When we walked out onto the plat- ' form from the dining room tho Over- ' land Limited v.ns ju5.t pulling c.ut for ' the east, and over on fnother track was an engine and my oigbt cars and ' the fine special car for a caboose and the fellers going along tipping t.ie wheels. "Then a conductor rtepe up and C snys. Is this Mr Swanson? Your train I is ready, sir.' ' And thn Johnson came running up I with some orders for the conductor 1 and he shook hnnds and lays 'I hope i you have a profitable trip, Mr. Swan- I son ' "Then the yardmaster nmn alone nnd shook hands and siys 'Well I s-e I E you are going to Sldnov with your IE sheen rill right, Mr R'anson.' f "Next thine one of th your.c fllo,-s 1 I from the office upstairs came run- I I nlng un and he says, 'Here's yon r j I valise, Mr Swanson, ! ou le't 't on the j 6 eounter. I'll just put it in the caboose fi for you.' t "I never hnd such f.rnil off The i Superintendent anil frerl1M.' shook I I hand-i. ; t n ' 1 ns we pulled out for the 9 east, I looked up nod there was all ! the clerks and train dispatchers, iook- j j Ing out of the windows, and wav'ne I their hands and dining room g:ns j standing in the doors waVine ninktn-, j and all veiling Good bye, Mr. Swan- j t son.' It was great. "We pulled o;?t of CW t'Snnf ten I minutes behind the Orverlan'd Limited B and we konl rlq'nt alon behind "em r clear Into Sidne- Thee T ro"-irt 0:1: 1 E that the nrlec of sheen was still rt-op- I B plng. so I derided '.. upload m- s'nrep I g nnd by dark I had the whole b.mctP chewing ten dollar hy- B "Next day T drOT c theiti out to a E hlg pasture where they -.10011 b-gun to K lay on fat again while I sat down and MR watched the n-.nrkrt Three weeks nfterward T tumped Into Omaha and IB stmrk 1 rising market with tne fattest K hunch of wethers that had been Been R for a year. Maybe I didn't mattelE good ? ' "When T stopped In Cljfeyonr.e on the I way home and ran up to the S tp- . , erlntondept office, he wjtsn'? thre, but the whole bunch of lerks came up to the counter to shake har.da. and naked ho v. T came mi' with ie sheep. They siiid that next lime 1 shipped 1 lust wire to them ard they would "lai'e ever thing sidetracked, except he fast mail. 1 Down In the dlnlm: room the girls brought me the best there was Ip the louse, antl pretended to h:' 1 Mrai; -mong themselves ns to who was coming com-ing out to Utah to be ny second wile. "And now whenever 1 am shipping nnd stop over ln Cheyenne you can see fellers nudgln' one another and polntln' ad ?ayln' 'That s the bjg Sw ede '.hat made tho rough house In the superintendent's office1 and yptl bet vour life, there ain't anything too good for me. "But" Swan adds reflectively. "It iln't everybody that's competent to handle them ducks T'.iere ought to he some new laws made " |