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Show J ' 1 . A l'lot That Thlekenetl I'ntll It . , bolletl Om With Inexperted ml III. it-Iron II, ..ill., rvxXXrrtll-I.T HAHTLEY vni on of thoso lrrltntliiK young E R v men whoso stock In trade f 5 consists of ail Important SuMUOUa. manner and a positive toIco. Hilly Hartley win a private detective and business wns bud with lilm. He lind gradually nursed himself Into a alulo of mind whore lie believed tliut tlto world did not appreciate appre-ciate Mm. When a mnn ao believes. tlie plot lnvnrlnlily begins to thicken Into an omlnoiialy fatnl sort of alow. One day as Hilly ant In bis room at ths "(irupelll" apartment bouao, he peeled tho following little atveut potato po-tato of thought and threw It Into the simmering sauccpuu of bla ambltlotml thought: "I must brine my tletectlvo ability before the public lu a way which will make a marked lmpreaalou," aald he. lie chopped up a logical turnip or two. and thoughtfully atlrrcd them In. "The public dors not bring mo lta private caaea ond ao I cannot prove my .worth," ho continued, "I must therefore there-fore fix up a caso myself. Now there re a lot of robberies going on In this neighborhood, and the tmllce leem helpless. help-less. Why can't I whirl lu ond catch these thieves';" Itllly Hartley communed with him-elf him-elf until bo begun to hate bis own company. "Ity tho (Irent riuns of Wurl I have !t!" bo llnally exclaimed. Ho wrote tho following nolo: Dear Sir If your representative saill be at tho corner of llroodwny and Eighth street to tilutit ot VI o'clock I will hand him Hh) as agreed. He must have this letter to Identify blm, ml tho slgnnl will bo a sneeze." Billy llnrlloy sealed this note, ad-ttruaed ad-ttruaed it to lilmaelf, iid placed it on conspicuous purt of ills bureau. On hn envelope bo added the words: "Valuable. In haste." . Hilly Hnrtley tiptoed to tho window and cautiously peered out. "Ob, If the burglars would only call here and find that letter," be murmured Imploringly. Implor-ingly. Hilly nartley tiptoed to the door and listened Intently. "They'd go for the I UK) and then we'd nnb thein sure," be continued. In a sibilant whisper. "Why, It would innko mo famous." Hilly Hnrtley picked up his hat and opened the door. Ho shook an ominous omin-ous Anger with n warning gesture for absolute sllenco and dlsuppenred. The world's n stage. Vp In one of the boxes sat Hume Fortune lutein-Kontly lutein-Kontly following Hartley's Utile sldo play. "Now I'll Just help this worthy young man." rcmurked tho name to herself, and sho settled cosily down to see this thing through. The world's a stage. The actors are ready. Tho prompter Is at hand. Tho arrlnged Instruments In the orchestra re shivering out their trembllest music mu-sic ond a thrilling detective mystery rapidly begins to unfold Itself. It was night. The stars shone bright Jimmy Bhort and flus Blmmons, attired at-tired in Irreproachable evening dress, wended their devious way up West J'orty-sixth street. They had an utter Hsrcgnrd of tho fight of tho crow. Their faces wero bathed In an r fftil-Kent fftil-Kent happiness. Their gestures wero of tho heroic site. They hod all tbe rnvlablo appearances of having dined to tho tuneful accompaniment ot corks that pop and tinkling glass. Occasionally Jimmy was stricken With convulsion ot opnplctlc merriment. merri-ment. "iBn't it ena.vr be whispered to bla companion at theao times. "It's almost too easy," replied Qua, wagging bis head In a reflective manner. man-ner. The Hacchanallan procession of two topped In front of tho "tiruiiclll." They ascended the steps. Ono of tlicm lurched Inside. Tho oilier sat down on tho door step ond softly wept as be unlaced Ills shoes. A sophisticated policeman smiled Indulgently as be passed. Hut now behold a curious thing! Tbe method ond manner of tho reveller .who bad lurched Insldo suddenly changed, nis Jng fell from him even s a manlle. He rnpldly entered all the darkened rooms that wero unlocked and rnpldly came out again. In a short time he reappeared ot tho street door and resumed his correct Imitation of a mnn on n bat. Ho locked arms with Ills watching companion on tho steps and, striking up the chaste measure of a merry roundelay, they continued their winding way to Sixth avouue, .where they disappeared. In tho flrent Comedy of Life It Is tho accepted fu"t that ono man in his glujsj p'.r.y many purta, but it may be remarked thut things do not be-com be-com really Interesting until some f tho players begin acting two different parts at one and tho same time. When Hilly Hnrtley returned to tho "(irnpelll" that evening ho found the place ringing with violent and stinging acclamations. It seemed as If nearly every room In the place hail been robbed. Orotund oaths nulsatcd In nnd out like a pasHlnnnte shuttle lu some highly speedeil rhetorical loom. Curious Curi-ous curses perforated the penceful night and died awuy lu an awed and shuddering stlllucas. Up and down the balls flitted the burglared ones, comparing notes nnd lamenting their losses In stentorian accents. Tbe human Imagination la never so healthy as during the discussion discus-sion of robbery. Missing neckties became full dress suits with money in the pockets, and pilfered acnrfplns wero glorified Into solid gold repeaters presented to their Inconsolable ownurs for saving human lives. Hilly Hartley entered bis room with tho tense feeling of a gambler who tins atnked everything on ono card. He noted with a hot glow of satisfaction satisfac-tion Hint tbe letter was missing from bis burenu. He called In his neighbors and explained the case to them. "Tho burglar will be there," con-eluded con-eluded Hartley Imporlnntly. "He'll be there after that fit"). And when be sneezes we'll nnb him." "Hut hnw'll wo nrove ttV asked doubting Thomns. "He'll bnvo my letter with blm. of course." replied Hartley. "I can swear I left It on my bureau." Tho doubting Thomas shook nartley by t he hand. ' "t.rent hoad. be murmured admiringly. admir-ingly. "Lucky thing that the burglar happened to take your letter." "That was puro detective ability," responded Hartley Importantly. "No such thing as luck In matters like these." Up nbove. Dame Fortune suddenly cast a spiteful look at this cheeky young man who was so early denying the existence of bis benefnetor. "No such tiling ns luck, h?" she muttered, pursing up her Hps. "We'll Just see about that. We'll Just see!" It mny be atnted nt this point that when Femininity pnrso up her Hps and snys. "We'll Just see," It generally means thnt solus imor Imago of a man will soon he benfllv leaning up against bars many wbere and vainly attempting to drown bis hitter sorrows In a tom-pestuous tom-pestuous sea ot beer. And In the meantime where were Jimmy Bhort nnd tins Blmmons? They wore sitting at a little round table and looking earnestly nt each other. "Isn't It easy'" Inquired Jimmy. "It's too easy," ruminated tins. "Why Is It that a cop never arrests a drunk In n dress still? Ann it ru boen cn light lu the tirupellt to night they'd bnvo thought I was full and got In the wrong room by mistake. It's too easy!" be repeated solemnly. He again looked earnestly nt his companion compan-ion as he plied n miscellaneous assortment assort-ment of Jewelry on tho tiiblc. Their earnest looks simultaneously disappeared disap-peared and they winked at each other with much humorous unction. And here's a letter I picked up In ono of the rooms." continued tins. "It's marked 'Valuable' and hasn't been opened yet," ho commented ns he proceeded pro-ceeded to read tho letter to bis attentive atten-tive partner. "'He must havo this letter to Identify Iden-tify him and tho signal will be sneeze,'" concluded tius. "The signal will bo a sneeze," be repented. re-pented. "Kasy!" murmured Jimmy ecstatically. ecstati-cally. "Oh, easy!" "And Hnrtley novcr saw this note," added Ons, "F.asy!" repeated Jimmy. "Ob. ensy! Why, anybody con sneeze. It's Cllllll pinj. '"o u- J" k" there with this letter ond sneeze and act 1100. Isn't It ensy. eh? Makes yon wish you hnd a cold." "It's too blamed easy," objected tbe other moro solemnly thsn ever; "it's ko ensy to bo naturul. Let's think It over." A tall, thin, red headed man brought In a couplo of bottles and placed them on a table. "Hello, Bandy," remarked Gus. "Wbero'vo you been lately?" "Heen over to Jersey for a week," answered Handy; "Just got back five minutes ago." Jimmy and flus again looked at each j other earnestly. They nodded. I "gaudy," remarked (Jua portvntlous- I ly, "sit down, my loj wo waut to have a little talk with you." At this point It may bo stated that while it N a well accepted sociological tb my that tnlk Is cheap tliero are a number of well nuibeiitlcated cases on re. ,'i.i where it bus cost a man l-i- i 1 1 tily dear. The hour was ml.lnluM. The plnce was llion.hvuy mid Clchlli street. The cbuk In ilm e church clangil out the midnight hour. The last reverberation bail reluctantly tiled away when n tall, red headed man milked up to the corner cor-ner and suee.ed. Instantly a strange tiling happened. A pos of revengeful revenge-ful citizens poun I out from neighboring neigh-boring diMirwnys and seized this tall, sneezing, red headed mull. "We've got yon!" they cried. The tall mnn struggled mightily and loudly called the coiiipuny's attention to the fact thnt his coat had been torn In the shullle. "And that coat cost he added Impresslv vly, "Imported goods." One of the attacking party rnnglit sight of a letter In the tnll man's hand. "Ho tins the letter!" shouted this observant member. "Call policeman!" police-man!" Again the tall man struggled valiantly valiant-ly and with good effect. "There goes my vest!" hn shouted; "very fancy vest; worm s-'.r. no continued con-tinued tho struggle with the dogged air of a mnn who linn a deep bidden purpose before him. "And there goes my pnnts." he llnnlly added with a subdued triumphant nolo In his voice. "Thoso pants nro worth S'-'O of anybody's any-body's money." be reiunrked with melancholy mel-ancholy resignation. At tills point the policeman came nlong, nnd In a few minutes our Bandy was explain ing Ills ense 10 inn niiiii',riuc. "I hnd Just r, ' irneil from a week's visit to Jersey this very night and hsd got off the Christopher s'reot car to mall this letter to my wife out there, when up comes this crowd nnd mobs me. fine of 'em stole my wallet. There was $''( In that wallet. And they toro my clothes. I-ook nt thnt coat!' he wnlled ns be glanced down himself with a critical eye. "And look at that vest!" ho shouted. Ho continued tho survey of nis personal damages with rapidly rising emotions. "And Just tako a good look nt them pants!" lis howled with sudden feeling as be hastily took advantage of a convenient choir. That Is horz It cost the tenants of the tirupclll $:i(M) to square themselves with Sandy 1'lerson the other night. And that also Is why Hilly Hartley Is going Into tho real estnto and Insurance In-surance business ns soon as be ran And a sultnhlo opening for nn ambitious ambi-tious young man. New York Kvoulng Bun. |