Show Dorothy Dix Talks WHY IS IT THAT WE PUT OUR BEST FOOT FORWARD FOR STRANGERS AND KEEP OUR WORST MANNERS FOR THOSE WE REALLY MAKE LOVE MAKE YOUR MAR MAR- MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED RIED PARTNER HAPPY BY TREATING HIM OR HER AS A PERFECT STRANGER IN IN N ONE of Booth delightful stories he ho tells teUs of a man who I was most happily married and who In boasting ot of the good qualities of ot his wife always wound up his panegyric by saying AND SHE HAS ALWAYS TREATED ME MEAS IE AS IF I WERE A PERFECT STRANGER By which the fortunate husband 44 4 meant that his wife wile had shown to him c the courtesy the consideration the reticence the respect for his personal liberty that she would have shown to any arty met chance individual Also that c she had made as definite an effort to tobe tobe tobe be pleasant and agreeable to him as she would be to a casual acquaintance st s Perhaps to roost most this little story will seem 4 funny To me it is full tuU of heart breaking pa pa- pathos pathos thos because it is such a tragic thing that we should treat those we love and those whose happiness depends upon our attitude toward them worse than we do the strangers that cross our paths Woree Worse even than we wedo DOROTHY DIX OIX do our enemies It is a strange paradox that the best we have and the best that is In us we give to those who care nothing for tor us and for tor whom we care nothing This Is so universally the case that we have coined a phrase for It and speak of our company dinners and company man man- manners manners manners ners and company clothes which we regard as too good for fop domestic consumption Any old thing will do for those of our own household They cant can't get away and so there Is no use use- useIn useIn useIn In wasting any civility or cham chaim on them Yet this lack of good manners in the home circle Is what bat makes marriage a failure oftener than anything else For it is not the big sins that bring most couples into the divorce courts It is the little the insults the brutal criticisms the petty tyrannies that kill love and antI make life together an unendurable misery miser It is pitiful to think that after five years of marriage all that the husband and wife ask of those to whom they are married Is to be treated as well as they would treat an utter stranger That would turn their homes home from a purgatory Into a paradise That would change their marriages from bitter failures Into glorious successes That would make their dreams come true For how do we treat strangers We make an effort to make our our- ourselves ourselves selves sel attractive to them The laziest and the most slovenly woman dolls doUs herself hersel up for tor strangers She combs her h r hair In its Us most be be- becoming becoming becoming coming way She puts on her complexion and a pretty frock if she is going to meet someone she never saw before If It company Is 13 coming the most untidy housekeeper goes on an orgy of cleanings cleaning and the woman who feeds her family out of ot paper bags and in tn cans gets up upa a good dinner Mighty few husbands would grow tired of their wives and wander away from their own firesides If they knew that they were going to find at home when they returned of an evening a woman who had on her company looks and her company clothes and that there would be a company dinner on the table And It would put pep Into many a woman's womans wom ns n's housekeeping and keep her from slumping Into one of the disgruntled wives who ask the use of trying to please a husband who never notices how I look or how much I save on the butchers butcher's bill If men would pay their wives the same compliments that they do their hostesses when they are dining out and tell her how charming she looks In irs that blue frock and what a wonder wonder- wonderful ful cook she Is When we meet strangers we e make an effort to entertain and amuse them We dont don't sit up In sullen silence through a long evening We dont don't inflict them with a detailed story of oC everything that has gone wrong with us during the day We Ve dont don't blanket every proposal they make for tor some amusement On the contrary we bring out our little budget of ot stories and our best jokes We relate any little amusing incident that has happened to us and any news new's we have bave heard and we feign an interest even If we do not have a real one in what our new acquaintance is telling us usand usand usand and listen politely while he gives his views on the future of ot aeronautics aeronautics aeronautics tics or relates how many miles he made a day on his last auto trip If these tactics were Introduced into the home circle It would change the whole domestic atmosphere No longer would husbands and wives sit up of an evening In a silence so thick you could cut it with a knife For the very husbands who never say a word at home are the ones who set the table In a roar abroad And the peevish fretful wives whose husbands grab their hats as soon as they have swallowed their dinners and beat It to keep from hearing their complaints are the very ladles ladies who charm every stranger with their sweetness and graciousness If husbands and wives would use on each other a little of of the line that they use on strangers there wouldn't be so many married people out on still hunts for soul mates who dont don't bore them We dont don't argue with strangers when we e dont don't happen to agree with their views We consider the man and woman lacking in savoir faire Caire who get into quarrels with casual acquaintances over politics and religion or the best make of oC automobile or how short women's skirts should be Privately we e may think those who differ with us us' us ig ig- ignorant ignorant Ig- Ig Ignorant and silly or lacking in fn taste but we dont don't feel Ceel called upon to tell them so or to go to the mat with them We simply change the subject and keep our own opinion and let them keep theirs undisturbed If we treated our cur husbands and wives that way It would eliminate the family spat that that keeps everybody's nerves raw and that makes the average home like living over a volcano that may explode at any moment Why should husbands and wives quarrel over everything over which they disagree from politics to pie Why should they argue over topics on o which they know they differ Why shouldn't they concede each other the right to an Oln Individual opinion If they are willing to con con- concede concede concede cede the same right to a perfect stranger Finally we e do not nol feel called upon to tell a stranger home truths We do not tell a strange woman she Is getting fat Cat or that her hat is too young for her We do not tell a strange man that we have heard his story before or that his table manners ers are atrocious But we ruthlessly wound our own husbands and wives with witA criticisms that cut to the quick and then we wonder that they seek elsewhere the flattery and admiration without which they cannot live Perhaps there would be no more unfaithful husbands and wives it If the women and men to whom they are married treated them as if they were strangers DOROTHY DIX DIXo Copyright Copyright by Public Ledger |