Show I ITHE THE WASH ASH I I II I 3 I e A 3 1 5 i f 0 IIi I lIeres heres at ou pro c te kC keep lJ Ott r CopyrIght 10 1036 6 New cw Tribune Inc IN N the old days the tha temperance IN I people used to say ay Never o ever take our 3 our first drink It l I must bo be a sat sat- sat to them now to know that the first drink Is apt to be bo the last lasi S C C Gold make mako nice step step- stepping stepping pingS ping S S C Theres There's nothing like Ilka a phonograph phonograph phonograph graph record to hide bide a ya yawn n C CLew C Lew Pate Fate the champion champlon pessi mist says saya sa that matrimony just means hair nets tangled In your spectacles on the on-the the bedroom dresser Lots of virtue Is largely a mat mat- matter ter of or forgetting to be bo bad Getting work out of myself Is just like taking elephants away awa from Irom a peanut CSC Most of ot the tho New e Year babies bY painted by the magazine cover artists this year Jear were a as usual from rom nine nino months to three years old S C Many people have character who have ha else S C I Ionly Only the bourgeoise dress up S Work If I a a form ot or nervousness C S C The worst place to keep collars collas Is In a collar bag C S C COut Out here In California the tho fIrst thin a person asks you when you ou meet him 11 Is How l do you like 1110 Cal I CalIfornia Cal Nobody ever asks an any any- anybody body In New York If it he lie Ie likes New TonIc He know knows darn welt well he does docs doe I am ant afraid California Is a land landof landof lanot of pottering old men and totterIng old ladies The 04 men seem scent to have ha none of or the ho refreshing au- au audacity audacity and ss possessed b say tho the old New York clubman The Tho newspaper photographs pbS they send back from California are de You see pictures of the theRose theRose Rose parade at Pasadena and anol think or of a 0 a land that is one hothouse of c lowers flowers It happened that lew ew Years Year's Day In Pasadena year was as balmy and bright as c Could be but It followed fifteen or twenty twenty ty cold miserable overcoat un days in December It Itan Is Isan Isan an unfortunate family out here Iere Which ye lives In a a house agas a gas a furnace underneath All win win- win winter v ter you ou see ace l photographs o of bathing is beauties but a bather on a Call fornia beach after the first of ot Oc- Oc Oc October tober Is la a rare sight Ive I've looked d Still California has haa sonIa tonio good goi brains After you OU are I here here 4 while you OU regard anybody with a grouch as os having good brains Re e- e c I talked to a fellow here v who o saId that the human race Is b ably the result of the disease e of a jelly fish papers please COP The Tho transcontinental limited trains advertise ad their barber as one ono of their luxuries A hair cut Is not a luxury but a grim necessity The whole trouble with Califor- Califor nb If It any iL is 1 l that there thoro Is too too oo Island aland much Introspection here It Is a land of leisure and nearly every every- everybOdy bOdy has hu come hero lere Iere because ho he Is I IntenselY Interested In hImself In one way or another It la Is o I coun coutry try tilled filled fIll d with sick semi Electric b belts which they quit selling at al count fairs airs back bacle East thirty years yeara I ago have just arrived out h here herewith with a I bang New religious cults culls cu I spring up and anol thrive like Uke wildfire I am afraid even the Los Angeles I cops Indulge In n evangelical al gestur gestures The carpentry the tho engineering g the thc bookkeeping and the s raphy of moving mo pictures aro all aregood rood but the movies do not as a a a arule rule do the tho two things that any aart art should do observe life liCe and per por r- r tray emotion This would require real authors and end genuine actors The Tho movies mo now observe movies havea Alter After The Tho Big Dig Parade we have hn a 0 Arter dozen Imitation war movies Ar- Ar Af ter ten Variety we wo have havo a dozen circus and vaudeville When a movie director now wishes to Ina determine how a 0 rector act acts In a given situation he be refers reters to the movie from which he ho got the sit sit- lt- lt situation to see sec how a person will act In that situation C S C The early bird catches the worm but what hat Is needed Is a philosophy v for fo Worms worm |