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Show JUST FOR FUN Reaching the Limit. Gadsby limped painfully off the .polished dance floor. "It's all right about this "rlng3 on my fingers,' " he exclaimed, "but hang me if I can stand for tho "belles on my toes." Youngs-town Youngs-town Telegram. A Hint. He Do you think that your father fa-ther would offer me1 personal violence vio-lence If I were to ask him for you? SheNo, but I think ho will if you don't pretty soon. Tho Watchman. Watch-man. Encouraging. "What Is more encouraging than a robin singing in the rain7" "A pretty girl who is letting you hold her hand In a dark corner." Chicago Record-Horald. Righteous Indignation. "So von want a divorce do you?" said the lawyer, peering over his glasses at tho worried little man in front of him, says Success. "Yes, sir, 1'vo stood just about all I can. My wife's turned suffra. gette and she Is nover at home." 'Tt is" a pretty serious thing to brcalt up a family, you know. Don't you think you had better try to mako tho best of it tor a while? Perhaps it's only a passing fa.d." "That's what I havo been doing, but thore are some things a man can't stand. I don't mind the cooking and I haven't kicked on washing the dishes, but I do draw the line at running pink ribbons in my nightshirt to try to fool the chil-dren." Caught Unawares. Not so many moons ago the Masons Mas-ons of Manhattuu, Kas,, gave a banquet. The toastmastor called upon one brother whose name was not upon the programme. It rather confused him. "Look here, Mr. Toastmaster," said he, "this isn't exactly fulr. You have called upon mc to mnko an ass of myself without any preparation prep-aration whatever." Kansas City Journal. Expensive. Seth Woodbury was a tight-fisted, hard-hearted old farmer. His brother, William, dying, the neighbors neigh-bors said, from lack of proper treatment, Seth ldtched up and drove into town to havo a notice about his death inserted in the weekly newspaper. "There ain't no charge, be there?" ho asked, anxiously. "Oh, yes; indeed," answered tho editor, "our price Is $2 an inch." "Cracky!" muttered tho old man, "an' Bill six foot two." y What He Asked For. ' "Look hero," the angry manager exclaimed, "what do you mean by turning In such a play as this to me? You let the villain marry Uie heroine and permit tho hero to get tho worst of it all around, although ho is an exomplary young man, who has always led a blameless "Well, you said you wanted a play that was true to life, didn't you?" Chicago Record-Herald. |