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Show JUST FOR FUN A Bore. "You don't like modern statuary?" "No," replied Miss Cayenne. "If a modern statue's trousers aren't creased it Isn't neat looking, and if they wore creased it wouldn't be artistic." ar-tistic." Washington Star. Often Happens. 'I may be wrong, but I can't help it," "How now?" "It always makes m.e mad to find a friend taking as little interest In my .troubles as I take in his." Kansas City Journal. Mule That Went Lame. "What happen' to dat mule?" "Why. sab, dat fool mulo done hick me In de bald this morn In." Judge. Where Everything Goes, The crowded condition of tho other cars had compelled the elderly, austere aus-tere person to go into the smoker, and ho was listening in horrified astonishment as-tonishment to the ribald, profane conversation con-versation around him. 'Is there nothing held sacred In a smoking car?" he asked, turning to tho man next to him. 'Not a thing," said tho man, striking strik-ing a match on tho window casing; "not even the woodwork." Chicago Tribune. Literal. A little boy, when bo was invited to lunch the other day, wns instructed that when he was asked to have a second helping of cake he should refuse. re-fuse. 'You must say, 'No, I thank you, I've had enough." " said his mother. "And don't you forget It." He didn't. When asked If he'd have some moro cake ho said. 'No, I thank you. I've had enough, and don't you forgot It'" Toledo Blade. HoloL "I am sorry to be critical, my dear," said Mr. Lambkin, "but this pie Is not the kind that mother used to make not by a long shot." "It's too bad. Henry," said Mrs. Lambkin, amiably "I don't know what to do about it. Perhaps you'd better ring her up on tho phone and tell her. She sent it over this afternoon." after-noon." Harper's Weekly. The Installment Plan. An American wag and an Irishman wero talking of their vocal powers. Said the American: "The first timo I sang they showered me with bouquets." bou-quets." "Faith," said the Irishman, "the first timo I sang 'twas in an open-air concert, and they presented me with a house. But, begorra, it was a brick at a time." Tit-Bits. Self Confidence. "Do you believe In all the views you advocate?" "Yes," roplled Senator Sorghum, after some hesitation. "I do. But I doubt whether a less skillful reason-cr reason-cr than myself would be able to convince con-vince me of the correctness of some of them." Washington Star. Nothing Omitted. "Walter," called a diner, at a local club, "come here at once Hero's a hook-and-eye in this salad." "Yessob, csseh," said the waiter, grinning broadly. "Dat's a paht of do dressing, seh." Cleveland Plaludeal-cr. |
