Show f moles of a new yorker newspapermen know how hov united press feels about abort the following fact it rent reminds ands its staffers that news m may ay break any place glace and it warns then them not to be indifferent to any locale for scoops it stems from 1917 when the late bob bender who ho became UPs vice president as in the white house washroom ind and in came joe secretary to president wilson was so upset he steady himself which made bender nervous what the devils the matter with you anyway shouted the newspaperman kl oy y y y b b b be n n n nerv L au gus s too 00 chattered Tur nulty it if you 0 h 11 h h had ad jj j j j just seen a bee declaration lara la ration t i on of war bender ender 13 still disarranged sped out of 0 the place and down to the UP offices with the notable scoop there is danger that hitler can take ake america but there is more danger in those so called americans sho n ho would give it to him the newspapers newspaper sy as you probably have heard always write the obituaries of well known citizens long before they die and then file them sway away until they are summoned to the pearly gates one new york newspaper has this opening line on father divine the colored question mark to wit father divine the man who claimed he would live forever one of broadways ham actors was recently booked into one of those intimate night clubs on his opening night he warned the manager that he needed absolute quiet while he performed the manager complied by instructing his staff to obey this request after the first performance the manager went backstage to inquire if everything was okay no shouted the ham all through my act there was a terrific disturbance it went puck have that stopped look squelched the manager when that puck stops you will be fired the cash register cholly adler the tavern keeper relays the one about the day goering stormed into an aircraft factory ordered a dozen planes and demanded they be ready in three days that is impossible shrieked the foreman it must be so barked goering and strode away nazi efficiency came crashing through and three days later when a crew arrived at the factory the planes were ready as ordered the pilots got in and soared over the channel to bomb the british reaching london the first pilot pulled his bomb release and out dropped four of the fac torys night shift joseph dark clark baldwin who has been mentioned for the vacancy caused by the passing of kenneth simpson has a four year old unmarried son who attends private school the other day he was asked to recite the pledge of allegiance al all I 1 the political talk he heard at home apparently confused him he convulsed his teacher by starting 1 I pledge allegiance to the flag and to the republicans for which it stands jimmy jim my dorsey dor sey tells about the hollywood d producer who was trying to theft a big box office personality from a rival studio he dangled a contract in front of the actor and asked well is it yes the actor shook his head then persisted the producer is it no the actor still shook his head well plaintively continued the producer at least wont you reconsider and give me a definite maybe A delegation ot of japanese recently visited the curtiss wright aviation plant in paterson N J an inspection tour it was called they were loaded with cameras of course guided and supervised b by Y courteous personnel they were allowed to snap pictures of certain parts and motors to their hearts content now dont get excited it was all right this was the satch catch before leaving the plant 11 ll 11 had to pass through a tiny room in n single ile file f in that room unknown to them was a battery of xray X ray machines bombarding away those rays in case you didden know rendered useless the films the Ja Za panazis had exposed none of the pictures turned out and no 0 o relations or niceties were strained broadway alien when he shakes your hand he wants to know in your heart not up your sleeve he continues tipping his hat to ladies long after hes lost his curly strands ran ds when men he borrows a dollar a r hi he has the headache not the lend ender if he trips at your house he e consults consult s his doctor not his lawyer yer ile he always has a reason wr for what he does not an alibi the only thing he ever got on the cuff was a spot of gravy he thinks his father was a lucky guy tn n meeting his mother |