| Show k Kathleen Norris Says 11 What About out Babies in War Time rime time Bell Syndicate Syndicate Features Feature t u C i E j 1 t itI t Yi Y t ft t 1 i 2 P d' d da a I i v a r L r A d' d 1 1 L 1 1 TV The trouble is that John is most anxious for a child and I 1 am unwilling to assume let responsibility until after the war war OB DI r By By KATHLEEN NORRIS ILL you please settle IW a question for my husband husband husband hus hus- band and me writes I nna Barton from Pasadena xam l m 22 John is 27 we have en happily married for a year it fd Did d a half during which time timey y sailor sailor husband husband has been Ills lice 2 to the South seas and back firs urs rs is an unusual devotion we weave wei Q i ave ve no families we live for forli li lach h other The trouble is that John is most ious ous for a child and I am unI ung un- un I ing g to assume that responsibility WI til after the war When peace limes Jmes he will still have another aUr ar r in medical school and the usual tern Sem years to face and I am earnd earn- earn g goo good d money as teacher h er in a ar r school chool and saving for his J cation We are young and I bee bee be- be e e we may reasonably look forrd forto for- for ard rd to long years ahead when conditions con con- 1 will be more normal l life e of a strain and everything sier I sier on us all This is the first difference that Ss gas arisen between us For awhile managed to treat it as a sort of r ke then I dropped the subject but now he is continual- continual bringing it up The probability that he will soon go away again ex b r the dangerous duties of a de de- foyers foyer's oyer's ex existence stence and he says he auld love to feel that a baby as asif if ell ll as a wife was waiting for him home Please tell ten me me-I me I have no tJ bother if ther- ther if you agree with him Of Bourse I would adore my baby It uld break my heart not to have W dren someday but I cant can't face it pw w. w John did not say he would bide by your advice but he ad- ad w that it would influence him concludes this letter sometimes sometimes used to read your artif arties arti- arti f Hes es s aloud to us at the Sunday break- break 1st table when I wasn't more morea a Ol n 10 years old so please regard jl tae as a sort of grandchild and tn ll me if I 1 am making a mistake e I dont don't think you are making makings s i mistake Donna I think you are Meting Dieting wisely wisely that that is may I add if you are using only I ose precautions ag against mst moth mother mother- cod od that are recognized as nate and I am sure you are I Normalizing War Var W t what John is trying to do is what f 9 many young men and women are arel l j trying to do in these thesel ark rk times he is trying to normale normal- normal l t e war It cannot be done War Var is isa ise e a high fever sweeping over overe e world and persons or worlds a high fever must have very care- care fa and special treatment everyone lus s must make sacrifices and face Kanges hanges heroically if we are to get Tough rough this thing and Johns John's and our ur sacrifice must be made in wait- wait g for the richness and glory of parenthood J You cannot manage manage your job and j 1 our ur baby which means finan- finan al stringency for all three of ou The entire responsibility for the they baby by y would be yours without hus- hus and nd or mother or sister to advise rr J jou ou u and that is is a nervous strain to which he has no right to expose you lis s 's s visits home will be brief for the ext ext few years and far apart he heill tin ill hardly know his child He may mayot ot of t return in which case your baby be exposed to two possibilities oth th unfair to babyhood One is isyou l v a you will become one of those piloting mothers who are absorbed in 4 child spoiling that child and liv- liv d C t d I Q z Q S q 0 C t Couldn't Couldn love lovo another mans man's child BETTER TO WAIT WAfT Theres There's s no use trying to pretend pretend pretend pre pre- tend that these are normal times or that the usual customs can prevail prevail prevail pre pre- vail in the midst o of f a great war Miss Norris tells a young wife that her husband is wrong to want a baby now while he is away at sea in constant peril I If f he lie dies his child will be left without the protection protection protection pro- pro and care of a father Donna would lil like e a child as much as John but she realizes that she would have to hold her job and care for her baby at the same time an time an almost impossible burden John is stationed on a de de- de- de His life may end at any moment and then the whole responsibility responsibility responsibility re re- re- re o of f supporting and rearing their child would fall on Donna I If f she remarried she size would face the likelihood that her second husband would not be beable beable beable able to love another mans man's child and the resulting domestic tension tension tension ten ten- sion would wreck any chance o of f enduring happiness ing for him and eventually breaking breaking breaking break break- ing your heart when he grows away from your influence The other is I Ithe the more usual one of your remarrying remarrying remarrying re re- re- re marrying presently and giving him hima a stepfather ther Only a husband of superhuman goodness and generosity will share the raptures of young married life with a small stepson the childs child's demands and needs will be continually continually continually con con- getting in the way of the new husbands husband's natural claims No matter how eagerly he agrees to wear and tear of married life will wipe away every memory of them and once you begin the you promised promised promised prom prom- and you said and I always understood sort ort of conversation your marriage is doomed DW Difficult cult Adjustment The adjustments between children and step-parents step is a real problem today with wartime divorces almost I equaling marriages in number In a case that recently came to my attention attention attention at at- the little daughter of the first marriage a child of six had never slept away from her mother before When she found her place taken by a strange man and herself herself herself her her- self expected to call him Daddy the child w went nt into a psychological state very hard to handle and eventually eventually eventually even even- had to be moved to the custody custody custody cus cus- tody of strangers It was of this child that I once asked the stepfather stepfather stepfather ther Margot giving any trouble Nothing that couldn't be whipped out of her he said briefly He was wasa a clever man and known as a good goodfellow goodfellow goodfellow fellow but he couldn't love another another another an an- other mans man's child Hard and cruel as it may sound John must consider now the possibility possibility possibility pos pos- that another man will have havethe havethe havethe the raising of this son he so much wants If he does that seriously and with prayer I think he will see that it is fairer to all an concerned to leave Donna with as little responsibility responsibility responsibility as possible to leave her in short in a free and mobile condition condition condition condi condi- tion so that there will be no feeling of regret if she is widowed or if he comes home injured or if all goes well and he returns to qualify for his profession and to build that filled baby-filled home of which they dream These times are indeed out of joint Extraordinary valor is demanded demanded demanded de de- de- de of every everyone one of us if we weare weare weare are to win our way through them to something better |
