| Show Kathleen Norris Says When Sweethearts Are re Wives fives Bell Ben Syndicate Features 1 I r r r 2 1 r t s Harwood who is a in the merchant marine went away presently he was W back bad and Betsy stopped crying and was suddenly all for lor dances movies parties the old girlhood girl hood and engagement days routine By KATHLEEN NORRIS Y DAUGHTER eight DAUGHTER eight M MY months married married married-isn't isn t ta a wife at all writes Mary Purvis from New York City a sweetheart expecting expecting expecting ex ex- ex- ex flowers entertainment night-clubs night fun when he gets leave and moping about idly when he is away She gravitates from feverish excitement and gaiety to deep depression driving driving driving ing her father and me almost out of our senses Harwood the young husband husband is 22 Betsy is 19 Of course they were too young to marry but they were very much in love and my husband and I after only a two-months two courtship courtship courtship court court- ship which to them seemed a long longtime longtime longtime time gave our consent Two weeks after their pretty country wedding Harwood who is isn in n the Merchant Marine went vent away presently he was back and Betsy stopped crying and was suddenly all for dances movies parties the theold theold theold old girlhood and engagement days routine No talk naturally of home or cooking or hospitality or the hope lope of children They knew they couldn't have those things yet Every leave since then has been the same Wild laughter new frocks new friends drinking dancing wasting money coming in late and breakfasting at 11 or 12 the next day and always the excuse that Harwood larwood may not come back from the he next trip and they must have fun un while they can Lately during the last month or two wo there have been quarrels and Betsy is moody and unreasonable when Harwood is here and heartbroken heartbroken heartbroken heart heart- broken with self-reproach self when he goes The whole thing is as un- un unnatural unnatural natural and unsatisfying as it can be My husband and I worry ourselves ourselves ourselves our our- selves sick about it Betsy is our only child she has never had any home lome duties being busy with school and social engagements and while she sometimes works fitfully with the he Red Cross it is not with any interest interest interest in in- I terest or enthusiasm Week after week goes by her young life is wasting away and yet she has no home lome or husband none of the normal normal normal nor nor- mal activities that knit young mates together and build for them thema a real future as man and wife I dont don't think that our pushing her out outto outto outto to establish a little place of her own would help do you think that it would The answer is no I dont Your trouble Mary is one that touches us all You are trying to rationalize and make reasonable conditions that are basically abnormal War is unfair unfair un un- un- un fair Cair to everyone but it is especially especial especial- ly unfair to young women If girls stay home in inland towns townsand townsand townsand and all the men go away to war that's hard on the girls If girls fall in love and and wisely refrain from consenting even to an engagement until the war is over that's equally hard If a girl announces her engagement engagement engagement engage engage- ment and the man goes away that means that both man and girl have to be faithful to a memory that fades Cades faster and faster until they almost feel themselves strangers If there is a war wedding and then separation the conditions described described described de de- scribed by Mary Purvis' Purvis letter ore ore- I 2 1 if OS 4 1 i v t 4 Learning to know each other r STRESS OF WAR There is no use pretending that life can be lived in the usual pattern pattern pattern pat pat- tern during a great war ivar The stresses and dislocations are especially especially especially es es- es- es hard for young women to endure whether they marry or stay single for the duration Betsy is only 19 She has always always always al al- al- al ways had things pretty much her own way both at school and at home She had no particular re re- Social activities and a little Red Cross work filled her days After a courtship o of f only two months she and Harwood were married He is only 22 but because because be be- cause they were so obviously and intensely in love Betsy's parents consented Soon after the wedding wedding wedding wed wed- ding Harwood was called to duty He comes in on brief leaves every few jew weeks The short meetings are emotional emotional emo emo- storms for the young cou cou- p Ie Betsy wants to rush about to dances and parties She expects the exciting whirlwind o of f gay experiences experiences experiences ex ex- ex- ex she enjoyed as an engaged engaged en en- girl Lately Betsy and Harwood Harwood Har liar wood have quarreled on inconsequential inconsequential matters When he goes away again she is moody and self self-re self f ul vail the little bride is lonely and unoccupied and the few glimpses she has of her husband are times of feverish emotion almost as upsetting as the solitary waiting is And if there is a wedding and prospects presently of a baby then thenan ian an almost sadder situation arises for through all the wonderful first months and perhaps years of that baby's life he doesn't get what every every every ev ev- ery baby should have his fathers father's as well as his mothers mother's love and care care and and the young mother carries her responsibility alone So its it's a bad arrangement all round for young women girls and everyone But we can draw good out of this bad by holding before these bewildered war brides an example example example ex ex- ample of faithfulness on our own part of sturdy belief in the brighter bright bright- er future by setting up a high ideal of service and goodness in home life Paint for Betsy's consIderation consideration consideration con con- a picture of the little home she will have of the peace and quiet of her duties and responsibilities responsibilities responsibilities joys and privileges there Remind her continually that when Harwood comes home he and she must start almost as if they were strangers learning to know each other building their early passionate passion passion- ate young love into true married trust and devotion setting their whole young crowd an example A strange truth that it is hard for these young persons to accept is that any two really fine fine persons equipped with a sense of humor as aswell aswell aswell well as personal courage can work workout workout workout out a successful marriage That all husbands have faults and one man manis manis manis is as hard to live with as another That all wives have failings too and can at moments seem difficult and unreasonable That time and love solve these problems and turn even the most unpromising beginnings into true marriages I i |
