Show KATHLEEN KA NORRIS Dont Don't Mix Love Money too Well E EVA VA CARPENTER of Syracuse is is g going 0 i 1 n g to be married inJune inJune in inJune June and she writes to ask me mew mew w what h hat a t financial adjustment a wife has a right to demand be because because because be- be cause as she says she has always hated being imposed upon and she wants things understood Barry her young man appears to be casual and cheerful about these matters and assures her that with his good steady salary prospect prospect pros pros- of promotion with his comfortable com corn house free tree of encumber- encumber ances and with the small but sure Income both he and Eva derive from wartime investments everything everything everything every thing will be fine Barrys Barry's motherless motherless motherless mother mother- less small daughter Meg will live with them but her school and clothing expenses are paid by her mothers mother's mother I made out a budget says Evas Eva's letter Barry laughs at this but I have been a financial manager manager manager mana mana- ger ger of a small sanitarium for tor some years and know how to handle such affairs My idea is that just so much shall be allocated to table telephone cleaner and so on just so much go to Barry for taxes car maintenance lunches club and so on and the residue be divided divided di dl- vided on an equal b basis sis Unless I a wife is to be an unpaid servant as my mother was for 25 years she surely has a right to her share Knowing your opinion of the importance importance importance im im- im of a money agreement In marriage I want to ask you two questions What out of an income of about a month should bemy bemy be bemy my share and should I ask Barry to put our agreement into writing Serious Question Eva I say in reply you are quite right in quoting me as saying that the money question is a most s serious rious one in marriage and that if it Is settled to the satisfaction of both parties other problems are I apt to fall tall into line S. S O X OC d q f i i- i iY Y L A I r. r S SS S tf I I have made mad out a IS budget But that is not to say that I believe believe belleve be be- lieve a woman of at 31 marrying a aman aman aman man 10 years her senior should enter upon matrimony in tl this s brisk businesslike mood No wonder it amuses Barry who has already had some experiences of the way domestic expenses go Your staid maidenly budget will willbe willbe willbe be blown sky-high sky when the guestroom guestroom guestroom guest guest- room bathroom overflows onto the room dining ceiling when the dentists dentist's dentists dentist's den den- bill comes in just double your expectations when your brother Tom needs another loan when your the hour slips on the cake of soap Meg didn't pick up and sues you for tor when your mother Is taken suddenly ill III and you have to fly to Santa Barbara Have All lI Advantages You are a responsible person Barry is successful industrious thrifty reliable What more do you want Certainly not budgets before you are even married and a bombardment bombardment bom born of such words as allocation alloca tion residue and basis Barry wants confidence from tram you anc and unless you feel an affectionate trust trustIn In him dont don't marry him at all With the assets you mention you are having much more than an average start and your difficulty as I see it is going to be the loosening o of all your pre-arranged pre lists budgets bud bud- gets restrictions rather than the tightening of at your rules for tor Barrys Barry's Barrys Barrys Bar Bar- rys s Improvement No wife Is more annoying than the watching suspicious woman who questions every move and eyes the spending of every penny The Theold Theold old phrase an lIan unpaid servant In the house has been in use for generations I remember hearing it t in my childhood But it doesn't apply now Now with the modern science doing all it can in hi heating cooking lighting canning washing a woman moves with great ease among miraculously efficient ma ma- chines In a sense she Is a servant In the house louse But not unpaid She is the most richly paid woman in the world she is paid in love and grat- grat tude S She is paid whenever she sees the children bright and good at the supper table or when a tired man comes home to what to him is the loveliest spot in ha the world Solitary lives know nothing of the ecstasy of richness but the honest wife and mother knows Certainly she wants to feel sure of her husbands husband's understanding of her household and her personal needs But Eva will make a fatal mistake i if she starts Into matri matri- riny in in hi h boy J b ringed hand that signed document that gives her just so much legal tender every month In California we recently bad had a case in which the brides bride's father insisted Insisted insisted In in- upon full divorce settlements signed sealed and delivered The groom was criticized because he ae treated the whole matter as a sort of at joke but granting that he ho wanted to marry the girl under these extraordinary circumstances I dont don't know mow what else he could have done If he had been a wiser and older man he would have withdrawn withdrawn withdrawn with with- drawn from the marriage Eva If you Insist upon this Ironbound ironbound ironbound Iron- Iron bound document as a preliminary to putting your hand in Barrys Barry's then I suggest that Barry look into this pre matrimonial divorce idea and perhaps have another document document docu docu- ment in his own hand hand- |