Show Templar r Topics By Karl Keller Following is an article written by Keith Stevenson chairman of the Marti Mar ti Safety Council which was printed in in this weeks week's edition of the school paper I thought it was so good that I decided to devote de devote devote de- de vote all the space of my column to this fine article SAFETY LAST Most people spend fruitless hours trying to tell you how to avoid ac ac- ac I am going to be different I am going to be different I nm am going to tell you how you can be involved in bigger and better ac accidents accidents accidents ac- ac and always have safety last I Inasmuch as most of you believe that accidents only happen to the theother theother theother other fellow and never to you why should I waste my time and yours by telling you what to do or what whatnot whatnot whatnot not to do in o d r that you may be beI I safer and avoid being involved in inan inan inan an accident Do you feel slighted or neglected by never having been involved in inan inan inan an accident Do you have an in inferiority inferiority inferiority in- in complex when hear the life of the party brag about the narrow escapes he has had and the goary goury accidents he has been in If so this is for you You too can be the center of attraction at the scene of an accident accident accident acci acci- dent you too loo can make the headlines headlines headlines head head- lines and have your picture in the paper you too can be the life of the party and brag about how badly you smashed up your car carand carand carand and didn't get a scratch you too can succeed in having the preacher preach a wonderful sermon about you rou and have your Mother say little reckless reckless reckless reck reck- He may have been a less but he was really a good boy boyat at heart For example a friend of mine has made quite a record having accidents In fact he had been involved in so many accidents that he jokingly said that accidents were his hobby Having accidents finally became a habit and he finally finally finally fin fin- ally became involved in an accident accident accident acci acci- dent that not only broke all records records records rec rec- but ended up in being an accident to end all for him He was involved in a perfectly perfectly perfectly per per- perI I wonderful accident It was the worst traffic accident on record His car was completely demolished and boy what he did to that other car It looked like it had been hit by a train and run over by a 1 steamroller Of course he only killed three in the other car outright but then two others died on their way to the hospital and the little girl that lived only lost one eye and both of her legs will have to b be amputated above the knee But to top it all off you should have heard the people at the funeral funeral funeral fun fun- eral parlor They just couldn't help but express their admiration I Ifor for the undertaker and good job I he had done on Pt 11 the body They just couldn't understand how he ever put it all together again and andA A AA eo A made it look as good as ns new es especially especially especially es- es his face Remember how bad they said it was but then you today know you can do miracles with a n photograph a n little putty lot of make some wax and a 1 But I dont don't want to bore you with trifling details so Ill I'll have to geton geton get geton on with my story and tell you how you too can be involved in bigger and better accident and always pu put safety last Are you tired of pay paying your in insurance insurance insurance in- in premiums Do you wan want your widow to hurry up and ancY gc get your money while she is still young enough to enjoy it I If you do then you must always beIn be bein bein in a 1 hurry to 1 Always pass a car on a hilor hill hil or a curve 2 Always try to beat the other othe car to an intersection If y you u cant can't beat him you can cnn always try fo foa for fora a tie 3 Always drive with your headlights headlights headlights head head- lights on high beam If you dont don't cause the approaching car to have hav an accident You y you u can always havethe have hav havethe the satisfaction of knowing that you darn near scared him to death 4 9 Always run as many stop signs and red lights down as us you can without getting caught because i if you get caught it spoils half th the fun If II you want to see how good th the ambulance service is or how crowded the hospitals are or how I I I chummy it is in the cemetery then always insist on having the right right- way of-way especially if you are driving driving driving ing a car or if you are arc a pedestrian The pedestrian always has th the way right-of-way and you must always alway insist on that right especially when you jaywalk or cut across a street streetor or intersection or dart out into a alane alane lane of moving traffic from in front of a parked automobile Never believe in or pay any at attention attention attention at- at to signs They were probably probably probably pro pro- bably put up by some dope who wh didn't have anything else to do doand and besides they weren't meant fo foa for fora a smart guy like you anyway And last but not least alway always drink when you drive so you wi will always good feed-good when you die If you do these things and always alway go fast You'll surely end up with safety last Sooner or later the things that tha you do Will surely mean the death of you But what do you care youre you're having having having hav hav- ing your fun Killing your share and maiming someone No other driver is is quite in your you class Boy youre you're good you put safety last |