Show STAhLE By LARRY STAHLE Why do some men have havea a good aim In life Ilfe but never pull the trigger As I mentioned In this thesis of or nothing last week this set of seven days has been set aside to honor the members of the poor souls who wandered Into the Fourth Estate and cant can't es escape escape escape es- es cape the mire of printers printer's Ink As I was scanning through the various weekly papers from around the state of Utah I came upon something that ties into National Newspaper week It was taken from the column of Klein Rollo editor of the Iron County Record In Cedar City It reads Why weekly newspapers are like Ilke women Because they have forms back numbers are not in de demand demand demand de- de mand they always have the last word they are worth looking over they have a great deal of at influence you cant can't believe everything they say theres there's small demand for the face bold-face type they're much thinner than before and every man should 10 one a nd nn not hn borr ow JI hi vu v uv un- un au s neighbors Papa I have to bring to the class tomorrow a simple explanation of Inflation and also of or Einstein's theory of relativity I wish you'd help me Okay son Suppose we be begin begin begin be- be gin with the easiest Einstein's Einstein's Einstein's Ein Ein- steins stein's theory It is not at all uncommon for us to confuse several tourists tourists tourists tour tour- a week as we send them scampering about Manti and Ephraim searching for their lost kin Most of the problem arises because the two sister cities dont don't have very many street signs planted around the towns Indicating just where you are located When someone asks us where John Q good old Scandinavian Scandinavian Scandinavian Scan Scan- resident lives Ilves our first Impulse is to say he re resides resides resides re- re sides next door to Sam Samuel- Samuel son We had to change this method of giving directions be because because because be- be cause the people wanted to know where good old Sam lives Our second approach was to have the people take their shoes off and we marked how many blocks you went v north by paintIng painting painting paint paint- ing that many of their toes black If their quest then took them east we grabbed the green dye to color the appropriate number of toes This system works fine un unless unless unless un- un less the person being sought lived more than five blocks in one direction from the office But after you got them off on the right foot and the desired locality was pinpointed pinpoint pinpoint- ed then comes the problem of designating which house in the area in question contains the family Is it the second second second sec sec- ond one from the corner or orthe orthe orthe the third Was the color red or pink Probably the most complicated ted system of all Is to simply hand them the address where the Deeson clan hang out That Thatis is a real stickler You can almost guarantee a return visit from the inquirers But we cant can't find any street signs listing where we are at and very few of the houses in town have numbers either is the stereotyped answer they hurl back at you After hearing this reply several several several sev sev- eral times during the past week I have come to the conclusion that some live wire club ladies or men should undertake to paint numbers or erect signs around town so that these poor poor lost souls will know where they ther are at It wouldn't hurt If they even held a campaign to get all of us wayward stragglers who do not have our address numbers numbers numbers num num- bers plastered on the front of our humble castles to do so Ina Ina in ina a hurry I dont don't have my house numbers numbers num num- bers up yet I am sorry to say When I direct persons to my house from the Messenger of office office of- of fice I paint two and a half haIr of G their toes orange to show that they should head south and one green tootsie My final direction direction tion Uon is then to look for the house with a lawn that needs to tobe tobe tobe be mowed and Is surrounded by bya a beautiful weed garden and you are there c cG G Theres There's only one way for families to stay out of debt I and most of the them m would like C to know blow what it is c |