Show rl I Lazy Actor John Barrymore was in San Francisco on the morning of the earthquake He was thrown thrown out thrown out out of bed by one of the shocks spun around on the floor and left gapping gasping gaping gasp gap ing in a corner Finally he got gotto gotto gotto to his feet and rushed for a bathtub bathtub bathtub bath bath- tub where he stayed all that day Next day he ventured out A soldier with a bayonet on his gun captured Barrymore and compelled compelled compelled com com- him to pile bricks for two days Barrymore was telling his terrible terrible terrible ter ter- experience in the Lambs' Lambs Club in New York Extraordinary c com o m Augustus Thomas the playwright It uIt took a convulsion of nature to tomake tomake tomake make Jack take a bath and the United States Army to make him go to work Reason for Applause Actor to colleague What colleague What delightfully delightfully de de- de- de cold weather Laddie Were We're sure to get some good applause applause applause ap ap- ap- ap today from the unreserved parts of the house while they're getting their hands a and n d feet warm Cash on the Brain What is your chief wory Money Oh I didn't know you had any I I This Cured Him HimI HimI HimI I used to snore so loud Id I'd wake up but I cured myself I sleep inthe in inthe the next room now x Scratch What makes you so uneasy Is your conscience troubling you No uNo its it's my winter under under- wear Para Paradox ox I notice that you smoke your cigarette shorter Yep That's because I smoke em longer Cant Can't Borrow Shelves A visitor to Mark Twains Twain's home commented upon the abundance of books and the rather limited accommodations for them Yes agreed Mark a bit wistfully wistfully wistfully fully yes but its it's so difficult to get friends to loan you shelves Down the Hatch The doctor was examining a naval hospital orderly for advancement advancement advancement ad ad- in rating What would you do if the captain fainted on the bridge Bring him to warbled the aspiring orderly Then what asked the doctor Bring him two more returned the man mm promptly |