Show I 1 KATHLEEN NORRIS ORR Grand Passion Passi n it Y FIRST KNOWLEDGE ot of liMY what real love is came only after I had been married nine years writes Jessica Cady from Wilmington I was going along quite contentedly not realizing that I was missing the most wonderful thing in life lite I had married at 17 feeling all a girls girl's foolish pride at being the first of my class to marry Carleton my husband was then 27 and seemed a very important person person per per- son to me That we were badly matched certainly to us both in the next few years we were not congenial we had no common interests in conversation but we were the parents of two lovely girls and there seemed no purpose in any course but the usual quiet married mar ried Tied life lile Then while Carleton was away in the south seas I met a man I 1 will call Fred We had worked together together to to- gether in an assembly plant for almost al ale most a year before quite suddenly the earth shook beneath us and w we discovered our love Fred also was wa the father of two children older than mine Between himself ano his wife wile at this time there was I hardly more than civility I Ecstasy Our love was all the ecstasy the rapture and delight of all the books and movies all the great songs and pictures We vere were swept off of our feet and for almost a year while giving the world no evidence of our devotion we lived in a Paradise of our own Wh When m Carleton came home I told him quite simply of the tremendous change that had come into my feelings and asked aske for a divorce That was one year ago and it has been the most terrible year of my life lile My love for Fred is like a tearing fire inside me I cannot go back and wipe it out as if it had never been But several circumstances circumstances circum circum- stances have made divorce seem less than a solution r ri It discovered our love lov In the first place Carleton insIsted insisted Insisted In in- that everything should go along In our home as it had been before he went away He says that If it he ever sees Fred anywhere near me he will shoot him for the rest nothing is to change He will not consider a divorce and threatens me with open disgrace and separation separation separation tion from my daughters if I insist upon it For the girls' girls sake this is therefore out of the question for formy formy formy my lawyer tells me that he could claim the girls if he brought the matter to court Fred is anxious for me to leave Carleton establish myself in my old parlor beauty-parlor work and wait until matters at his douse ouse clear up somewhat when he will also ask for lor a divorce But this seems to me meso meso meso so lonely and uncertain a plan that I hesitate to take the step Fred Fredwill Fredwill Fredwill will give me written promises that the moment we are both free we will marry and I know several women who have managed their affairs at af fairs this way breaking all ties first and trusting to time 11 If I had no children I undoubtedly would do this but they need me now and depend on me All Wrong Wrong- But surely it is all wrong from every standard of real morality and common sense for Fred to be in his house with a woman whose affection for him died years ag age and for me to be chained here with a man who despises me and the empty shell of a life Ufe Is this civilization and is real love so wrong a thing that it must be penalized this way Cant you help me with some of ot your own philosophy to find a happier happier happier hap hap- pier way out than this I feel as asif asif asil if il I should go mad meekly settling down to a life so empty so lonely and so purposeless after having had just a few months of ot glorious satisfaction Fred I never see sec and although I have sometimes broken my promise and have written him he has kept to his word to have no further communication with me at all Tell me what to do to maintain my own sanity and be happy again Of UJ course there is no answer to this letter When trouble breaks out in marriage marriage marriage mar mar- a woman has many bulwarks to uphold her Society recognizes her position she has her place and her responsibility to steady her she can with perfect dignity wait for forthe forthe forthe the skies to clear But the illicit affair gives a woman woman woman wom wom- an no such comfort There is no limit to the shame the longing the unsatisfied desire that a love af fair such as Jessica's causes when the glow of it has gone She has absolutely nothing in the way of sel self respect respect or the sympathy of friends |