Show KATHLEEN NORRIS Remorse Saddest Thing of All I T MYSELF HAVE RUINED I my life Ufe I have noU nothing ng left writes Kathryn Hillsey HUlsey from Wil Will I dont don't want blame from rom you I want help Nobody can blame me more than I blame myself But life hasn't been fair fairo to o me just the same and many manya a woman does what I did and never pays at allI allI all I am 31 divorced and the mother of two lovely children ettice Lettice Lettice 6 6 and Jackie 4 My one thought hought night and day is to regain regain regain re re- re- re gain some share in their lives I dont don't want custody I 1 want a few days of ot my loved childrens children's company com corn pany every month or a few tew w weeks eks every year When Lettice was born jorn I almost lost my life ille when Jackie was 2 my nursing brought him ilm through polio Dont Don't these things count at all This is the story the letter goes on Two years ago for the boys boy's convalescence I moved to a little ittle mountain cabin in a colony of unusual professional persons My Vly husband joined us week ends but ut in that time he became infatuated in- in with one of the nurses in the hospital and asked me for fora a divorce Stupefied I 1 refused and remained at the cabin while he closed the city house and moved to the he club For seven months I did not see him and in that time I 1 met a painter paint paint- er whose cabin was near my own I suppose I was tired after fter long anxious care of Jackie and deeply hurt by my husbands husband's action but also I fell deeply in love Before I knew it I was leading a double life devoting myself in the daytimes to tomy tomy tomy my children and maintaining a H ft My one thought neighborly friendship with J Jeffs Jeff's eU s wife wile but wrapped in all the thrill of ot ofa a 1 love affair The secrecy added much to it for me and I was simple enough to imagine it might remain remaina a secret Jeffs Jeff's wife was a much older woman than he a north European European European Eu Eu- and unsympathetic in ip every way Humiliation Well that is about all Someone gave John a hint of what was going going go go- ing on and he had me watched Nothing was vas spared me in humiliation humiliation humilia humilia- tion and publicity John got his divorce and Jot cot ot his children the day of his divorce he was married to his sweetheart I knew knew every every everyone one knew what knew what their relationship had been for years but there was no scandal and no proof She has my children JeLls Jeffs wife died Immediately afterward of an overdose of ot sleepIng sleepIng sleepIng sleep- sleep Ing Suicide was not mentioned mentioned men men- but my name was mentioned mentioned mentioned men men- in her will Jeff Jell was to forfeit a 1 considerable legacy if it he married again and was to take their son to Europe to clear up her estate So for me nobody was left I 11 stood it awhile then I went queer and was handed over to a l psychiatrist He naturally didn't tell me anything I didn't know but buthe buthe buthe he did prescribe work I got a job have been promoted and sent here to o be head of at a department I will not marry again but I must have my children Their little wistful faces haunt me day and night They need me and I need them Is It Hopeless Their grandmother will not let me see them their father returns my letters unopened I have a home for them now a back yard with o oaks and fruit trees And I am a different woman from the one who made those hasty inexcusable mis mis- takes But are they really inexcusable inexcusable inexcusable inex inex- Can you give me any hope Yes of ot course I can can Kathryn And I wont won't talk taUe blame and sin and remorse for your own heart has las drunk deep of them all Part of the cure I suggest is time Time has a strange way of shifting things about people change circumstances circumstances circumstances cir cir- cir cir- change J Johns John's olm s wife wile may not always want the care of ot two restless small persons who are not her own Johns John's mother will go goler her ler way and loosen her hold upon them hem Fill your days with work and friends and service service service-service service to anyone anyone any any- one one everyone service in a hospital hospital hos hos- pital or for tor the blind or in any of the he Red Cross activities The other half halt of the cure lies Inthe in inthe inthe the words of ot an old Greek spoken thousands of at years ago Character Characters is s fate tate said Your character has worked an unhappy fate so far tar But i if you use every everyday everyday everyday day of the next year and the year beyond that to make yourself a better mother a stronger character an around all-around developed woman you wont won't have to struggle for tor your hearts heart's desire |