Show KATHLEEN NORRIS S Breaking With Past Brings firings Woe TV rY Y PROBLEM Is that of my MY husbands husband's daughter writes an Iowa woman But for Fay everything in my l life c would be perfect Van Is truly a kind patient patient patient pa pa- tient good and generous man and we have a year two daughter Amy who is idolized by us both Fay is 14 a 3 tall strong girl who in the three years of our marriage has never been anything but difficult difficult difficult cult impudent unmanageable lazy unhelpful and lately showing showing showing show show- ing a dangerous independence If I ask her to open a door or answer the telephone she says Oh heck and moves so slowly that I usually get there before her Cannot Canno Trust HerShe Her fier She has a 3 brother of 10 a darling darling dar dare ling boy but the mother kept him she she also has married again and handed this girl over to me Far from being any help I have to pick up after her and see that her clothes and her room are arc kept in some sort of order We cannot trust her even to sit with Amy i if we wish to go out for tor twice on these occasions she has gone off off oU- she says for a few minutes only to see a friend What makes it especially hard for me the letter goes on is that my husband Is completely under Fays Fay's thumb She can tell him anything and he only laughs and agrees He constantly says to tome tome tome me that the poor kid never has had hada a break which is nonsense She has everything we have and more clothes than I have I have tried gentle gentleness ss tried to be patient tried to advise it is all no use It does seem hard to me that i O Ol l 1 Hr she says say Ob Oh beck just this one thing this one person person person per per- son stands in the way of my complete complete complete com com- happiness Van and I loved each other for two vo years before either one would make the break of divorce There was nothing shameful or secret about our affair af af- af fair We considered it soberly m made our decision after long thought My husband and I had been living living liv ing apart for some years Van and his wife were utterly out of sympathy sympathy sym sym- pathy and her subsequent marriage marriage marriage mar mar- proves I think th that lt she did not long consider herself hersell injured Surely self respecting sup self porting adults have the right to adjust adjust ad ad- just their lives to happier lines hurting nobody and winning for themselves a more balanced and wider outlook Suz Suzanne demands pathetically in conclusion Child Has Das Rights Too Well Suzanne perhaps they the y have But you ou dont don't give the full picture here You dont don't mention in this summary of What intelligent adults have the right to do that a little girl of 14 has her rights too Fay knew her mother preferred her brother to herself hersel She knows she is superfluous and unloved in her new home You are not her mother and your well-meant well scold scold- ings lags and reminders and demands fall upon a young sensitive hC heart that already feels itself rejected by all her world world except except Dad Divorce never solves half halt as many problems as there are problems probe lems that follow divorce There is simply no end to the difficulties that women get themselves Into when they break with the past the vows the young love the first homemakIng the first baby These everyday human exper- exper cut far deeper into our hearts into our whole spiritual and mental make up than we know Many an angry and angry and perhaps perhaps per per- h haps justifiably angry angry and and disillusioned disillusioned disillusioned wom woman ln imagines that just to be free of matrimonial ties just not to have to argue with Bob ever again would be heaven on earth But the complications that arise often make the old bondage seem infinitely preferable to the thc new In this particular case I would advise Suzanne to bide her time Just to wait Fay will be of a marria mar- mar ria gable age in a few years and will be off oU her hands This isn't like the problem of a troublesome mother in law a helpless old grandmother an incurable invalid Many women have those burdens to carry Fay will either grow into useful womanhood or she wont Dont Don't fret about it If U she leaves her room In a mess let it stay that way Put as much of the responsibility responsibility responsibility as you can on the indulgent father Be an innocent bystander to their arguments Shut your eyes to the f fact lCt that he permits her extravagances ex ex- extravagances you wouldn't dream of and shut your e ears to dence Tolerance and amusement and a tempered sweet refusal to accept any responsibility for tor Fay once she has rejected your advice will go much further than rigid anxiety and suspicion and criticism In a afew afew afew few years shell she'll be out of the picture picture picture pic pic- ture and meanwhile since her hel own father and mother are the only ones really concerned save your nerves in every way you can |