Show titO otO Awill cn oLL alJa t After Alter Dinner Speeches TEXAS Late Late Lately Lately Lately HOUSTON ly for my sins Ive I've had to listen to a jag fag of dinner after-dinner oratory including plenty of mine I hope people like to hear me e. e I do Feature writers say professional dinner after-dinner speakers are dying out That may be true in New York where I folks are anxious to get the dinner over with so they may hurry to the nightspots nightspots nightspots night night- spots and do some since sincere re and earnest fir s drinking in an effort to forget what the stock dock m market did to them yesterday and what its it's going to doto do doto doto to them tomorrow Irvin S. S Cobb But out in In the hin hm- hinterlands hin- hin the new crop of native orators orators ora- ora tors is a bountiful one and the typical typical ical silver tongues of the great open spaces spaces spaces-I'm Im I'm speaking of their neighborhoods although I might include include in in- in- in clude their mouths mouths are are still convinced convinced convinced con con- vinced that the sweetest music on onearth onearth onearth earth is the sound of ones one's own voice uplifted in eloquence An English preacher had the best formula Stand up to be seen speak up to be heard to be If hed he'd left out all but the thelast thelast last part have been a perfect perfect per per- feet recipe Tomorrows Tomorrow's Treasures ANT t fn re 70 untold w a a Ith h W t for your o o r acqui latter t y years or anyhow anyhow any any- how for your grateful heirs Then collect things Collect cheap things which are both common and commonplace Then sit down and wait for these objects to become obsolete and therefore priceless yesterdays yesterday's necessity is today's junk but will be tomorrows tomorrow's treasured treasured treasured treas treas- antique Assume you'd saved up old circus circus circus cir cir- cir cir- cus bills or Mississippi river steamboat steamboat steamboat steam steam- boat menus or buggy whips or those slop-jars slop formerly former former- ly found in all truly refined homes Henry Ford or some museum would take a lot at any price Im I'm putting aside literary works of ofa ofa ofa a purely imaginative conception I have one perfect specimen of idyllic idyllic idyllic idyl idyl- lic creation creation creation-a a time-table time of the old Florida East Coast railroad also a complete working synopsis of the Townsend plan plan just just sheer fantasy But the most fanciful romances are the platform pledges adopted at national national national na na- na- na conventions of the two great parties during the last twenty years r theres there's real fiction for you youl I Germanys Germany's Colonies EVERY VERY nation is united in the magnanimous attitude that to Germany should be restored the colonies taken from her by the winning winning winning win win- ning side in m the Worlds World's war war except except the nations that acquired the said colonies in the split That's the main hitch Its It's more than a hitch Its It's a hard knot tied originally with hate and sealed now with greed In other words sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander gan gan- der unless der-unless unless it happens to be our gander which naturally alters the case Nor seemingly has it occurred to any government that the original owners of Germanys Germany's former territorial territorial territorial terri terri- possessions might like to have havea a 4 say about whom they're going to belong to in future But then if ever we started considering the wishes of despoiled native tribes over the world where would the white mans man's noble civilization be Cosmopolites F THE THE HE last time before this that x Captain Mike Hogg and Major Raymond Dickson returned to their ranch at Cast Blanca Mex they were just lust back from New York That night at the bunkhouse the I hands mostly Texas lads foregathered ered to hear the bosses tell about the wonders of the great city One or two of them had visited New NewYork York so these cosmopolitans proc proceeded proceeded pro pro- c to exhibit their familiarity with its sights Major said one I reckon old Grants Grant's tombs tomb's still doin business at the we same stand eh And I bet bel the aquarium is right where were she was when I was there said a d another And all them tall There was present one lanky youth who had never been fifty miles away from where he was born corn in a bend of the Rio Grande Probably never had seen a town of or orore more jore ore than a thousand inhabitants Hut But ut with all these seasoned travelers travelers travelers trav trav- elers showing off ofT he didn't mean to toe tofe be fe e left out He waited waited for an nn open open- ing Mike he said tell me I is that there same feller reller still run run- fin the hotel in New York IRVIN S. S COBB Service |