Show r r 1 I In oLL J j t I. I 1 Prehistoric Lore DEL IDEL EL RIO TEXAS Accord Accord According ing to the scientists who have bave a great way of naming earthly phenomena without in inquiring inquiring inquiring in- in quiring into the wishes of the phenomena we are now living in a terrestrial era known as the period This will be news to a lot of people people peo pea pie who rather suspected we were living through a stage which might be b e called Chaos 5 Still its it's no wonder wonder won won- 4 der that the word hasn't got around I generally yet because because be be- C f 4 cause this present era cra is quite a young era as eras go o. o It Its It's m's 4 merely a few million mil mil- illion il- il lion Ilion years old which to our true geologist is the Irvin s. s Cobb same as yesterday Mention a few million years to him and hell he'll say phew I and just snap his fingers like fingers like that I wonder if the authorities would pardon a suggestion from a poor F ignoramus whose acquaintance with geology is 1 largely limited to two of its surface phases namely Regular Regular Regular Reg Reg- ular paved roads and those detours When we consider most of the humorous illustrations and the bulk of the humorous text printed in the average smart magazine of today and the even spicier lines heard in smart modern plays Couldn't wouldn't it be more fitting to call it not the Holocene but the Obscene Obscene Obscene Ob Ob- scene period The Thc Laws Law's Long Arm THE HE long arm of the law law its its it's a grand phrase isn't it So mouth- mouth filling so satisfying to the honest citizens citizen's soul It conjures up visions of unrelenting unrelenting unrelenting ing warfare against crime inevitable inevitable inevitable ble punishment for the guilty Its It's the bunk I Its It's the bunk because of crooked lawyers venal policemen complacent complacent complacent compla compla- cent prosecutors soft-hearted soft or corrupted jurors witnesses bribed or intimidated the laws law's delays reversals of fair verdicts on foolish technicalities a false sentimentality ty which forgets the widow and orphan orphan orphan or or- phan of the victim and thinks only of the family of the killer most often of all abuse of the powers to commute and to pardon and to pa- pa role These days when I see a sentenced sentenced sentenced sen sen- offender handcuffed to an officer I find myself saying to myself myself myself my my- self Chances are that fellow literally literally literally lit lit- I or figuratively is wearing that decoration only temporarily The Passing Years EVERY VERY newborn year is a rosy i prospect just as nearly every dying year is a dun-colored dun dis dis- dis- dis appointment But without revived hope what could we look forward to Except being measured for a shroud It seems only yesterday when 1937 I Iwas was busting in a radiant bouncing i child baby his arms burdened with promises bless his little soul I After several everal false starts happy days were here again Nobody was aiming aiming aiming aim aim- ing to remodel the Supreme court Senator Ashurst told us so and didn't he know He didn't Secretary Wallace slightly assisted assisted assist assist- ed by Divine Providence would immediately im im- mediately have the crop situation well in hand Grass would grow only in t the street leading to the almshouse The Wall Street boys were expecting two suckers in every every every ev ev- ery pot And the song of the Bulbul was heard in the land land land-ah ah the bull- bull bull tull Within the month 12 the Republican I can party again would be a going concern Well if it its it's a going concern concern concern con con- cern the question is where And now laden with future gifts comes 1938 How time flies Why before you know it will be old enough to take a job with the radio and Buzzie will be signing Dials nials Gambling Houses A A ONCE famous sharp card sharp not not reformed but retired said retired said to tome tome me Show me a professional gambling gambling gambling gam gam- bling house where the roulette wheel isn't crooked where any other other oth oth- er cr mechanical device is on the square where the operatives from the bosses on down wont won't skin a customer customer call call him a sucker if you want to the terms are interchangeable interchange interchange- able and able and Ill I'll drop dead from shock because no such outfit ever existed nor ever will not so long as games c can n be tricked as all of them can and gamblers are out for the coin as they naturally are and the hand I is quicker than the eye which it is I 1 But how about the mathematical percentage in favor of the bank bank- isn't that enough I asked How about the mathematical percentage of crooked law enforce ment enforce officers who have to be z br bribed bed he countered Theres enough in never coming to 0 satisfy those babies IR IRVIN S. S COBB i Copyright Service |