Show W. W j 1 e 4 S SANTA ANTA MONICA IONICA CALIF ISO So soon as this with both tickets just put up folks already are arc saying this is starting out to I Ibe be a bitter campaign the campaign the bitterest bitter bitter- est perhaps since away back i in 1896 My guess is these prophets dont don't f realize the twentieth part of it Irn Im I'm reminded of what 1 happened when my my 6 old friend Col B BiU Hayward s a i 1 led e 41 j with his jf t r. Ili k negro regi regi- ment for f Franca Franc y- y h i during the war I i 4 b. b n t The outfit o 0 u t f i item t em j i r barked at at n night i g h U l I Next morning when i Y the transport wa was was was' well J out at sea a aN a N pop-e pop y e d trooper r Irvin S. S Cobb f fro from r o m the interior South stood staring at the endless watery expanse J I j I Boyl Boy 1 he exclaimed to a Companion companion com corn panion dis sho is one big ocean Mos fos' t tand doubtless stated the second see sec ond and soldier but son you you's lookin at now is only jes de to top I layer J f j ty t r The Union Part Party y r A AT T CLEVELAND there was harmony harmony har- har 1 mony and a quiet interment fo for forthe the old Guard At Philadelphia the proceedings moved along 01 on on I greased rollers But for real ex excitement excitement 3 wait until that new Union e party holds its convention 1 Then will be the signal to remove the women and children to a place of safety Just consider who'll b be bethere I there f The who think that as long as we have government en engraving engraving graving plants and printing presses r money should be plentiful Th The I group committed to the idea that if the farmer wont won't do something ll IE for himself something should b be q r. r done for the farmer Doctor Town Townsend send with his project to to provide ol olage old old age pensions for everybody over ove t sixty except Congressman 11 ty Father Coughlin calling for social social so so- d cial justice and better radio hook hook- I h ups Huey Longs Long's successor who'd who share the wealth and make every everyman every everyman man a k king mg t 1 1 I t e 1 a aAs Al AI Smiths Smith's Strategy As A S AN time old-time headliner of political political political poi po- po 7 vaudeville Al AI Smith I should have known better than to pull that ancient wheeze wheeze shooting shooting hi b bat hiat at Philadelphia letter carriers on a t b Sunday afternoon And besides think of the despera desperate desperate desper desper- I a ate te chance he and his supporting lr Ir quartet of sharpshooters took come between a mother panther and her cubs come between a lit JJ Frenchman and his fracas come oa o between a radio announcer and his I elocution but never right on the eve of their national convention try It D to come between a flock of office- office II holding Democrats and the prospect prospect prospect pros pros- prost t of four more uninterrupted t years of the same e I tb Trouble of Travelers i t II OUTSIDE the larger cities when ia i e ea J a hotel manager wishes to show a special guest special attention attention atten atten- tI t tion he assigns him to the bedchamber bedchamber bed bcd 1 h b chamber of state which usually is ison fi fion on the second floor invariably is rs 11 at the front of the house and nearly i always on the corner where elec electric elec 1 trie signs twinkle merrily till a daylight in the poor sleepless G wretch's eyes J And along toward 2 a. a m. m a party 1 I named Dewey standing in the 1 street below will start teJ telling ng a t party named Pink about I 1 mighty comical that's come up P f night whereupon Pink will Voll willbe J 1 be moved to recall a few social t j i p reminiscences of his own I 4 S as k L LS ii iiA Convention Invocations A ALTHOUGH A a southerner how I ever not working at the trade 4 I to I 1 d as steadily as some some some-I I have 1 snicker when a Democratic senator J walks out on his own convention j n because a colored preacher asks I v the divine blessing on its delibera Which reminds me The first time that great Texan Jim Hogg Hog b ran for the governorship t this his party split The Jom joined d outfit most t- t 1 with the Republican outfit outfit- ly black black to to put up a fusion ticket ticker 1 the Rev i At this pinto convention Sin Killer Griffin a famous black evangelist delivered the oca 1 t he threw an tion Pion In concluding unexpected expected bombshell into t the e pie piebald t MB he bald ranks by earnestly urging Lord to Put Hogg in the governors governor s 's chair Te uproar ensued Finally ally a adusky the floor dusky stalwart got is isI h dat o du dis u I I moves he bellowed dat yere and nn on fide fi in prayer be expunged from de record Majestically Majestically Sin Killer tJ e er rued erected 0 himself iI i- i int intI t I rises he stated to to a 3 P- P pint expose 1 bl of order its It Its It's s 's too late to h al' al already 1 t t frum de dc record a prayer wl I toe heaven hewen mores moren ready done got to fi five minutes ago IR IRVIN VIN S. S COB CO f w u Service f f. f I. I J f j. j I j i |