Show what T S Q acob b chyi ewari thinks about the good old days ANTA MONICA CALIF S taking pen in hand to write uncle sams sam 9 s check for that next installment I 1 look longingly backward to what im sure was the golden age of our generation it was the decade that began soon after the turn of the century and ended with 1914 kings lolled se aurely on comfy throne and dicta worships tor ships in strong nations were un tum dreamed of without shaking the foundations of the financial temple T teddy e d d y roosevelt was filing the allega tor teeth of preda tory wealth irvin S 8 cobb people laughed at the mad suggestion that there could ever be another great war let alone a world war with suffrage in prospect women were going to purify politics taxes were a means unto an end and not the end of our means standards of living climbed faster than did the costs of living automobiles were things to ride in at moderate speed not engines to destroy human life with millions actually believed that if prohibition by law ever became ef drunkenness would end and crime decrease yes I 1 m sure those were indeed the hap happy py days the era when the twentieth century limited started running and W J bryan stopped synthetic imitations W WE E STOPPED at a wayside sta tion advertising pure orange juice there s one every few rods next to autograph hunters oranges are the commonest product of call cali forma fornia the drink was the right color but there didn dian t seem to be any orange in it the best you could say for it was that probably its mother had been badly frightened by an orange I 1 made inquiry and an expert told me some roadside venders not many but some were peddling an essence compounded of chemi zal flavoring and artificial extracts because it kept better than the gen urne article I 1 thought america had reached tops in the gentle arts of subs titu tion and adulteration when we be gan making pumpkin pies out of squash and maple syrup out of corn stalks and buckwheat flour out of a low grade of sawdust anyhow it tastes like that and imported eng lish sole out of the lowly flounder and scallops out of skate fins but when in m a land where a strong man couldn coulden t tote a dollar dollars s worth of oranges on his back there are par ties elling synthetic imitations well just let the east equal that magnificent stroke of merchandise mer chandis ing enterprise I 1 poor little rich men T LET ET us take time off to pity the J spoor poor little rich man who owns a large but lonesome sea going yacht during the depression the species grew rare there were money lords then who hardly had one yacht to rub against another but with bet ter days a fresh crop lines imes the coast coasts no matter how rich the owner feels he must use his floating pal ace he may be content with a saucer of processed bran and two dyspepsia tablets but no yacht crew yet ever could keep soul and body together on anything less than dou ble sirloins so he goes cruising and gosh how he does dread iti it for every who really gets joy out of being afloat there usually is another to whom the great heart of the nation should go out in sympathy you almost ex hect to find him putting ads in the paper for guests who can stand the strain everything provided except the white duck pants problems on wheels AMERICA A MERICA S newest problem goes on wheels one prophet says by 1938 1933 there 11 be a million trail ers and three million people aboard them then j roger babson raises the ante within twenty years half the pop living in trailers and all the roads clogged so soon the trailer face is decoo 7 sizable it lc i worn by momme r riding along behind while popper smiles pleasantly as he drives the car in solitary peace getting away arm fram it all have you noticed how how many trailer widows there are al ready but as yet nobody reckons with the chief issue think of the in creasing mortality figures when the incurable speed bug discovers that not only may he continue to mow down victims with head on assaults but will garner in many who ec e his frontal attack by side swipes of the hitched on monster that is swinging and lunging at his rear like a drunken elephant on a rampage ram pagel to catch em going and coming that should be a motor maniac a e dream of earthly joy IRVIN S COBB service |