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Show & Littli PROBABLY NOT "1 presume my letters to her will be read In court?" "It's quite likely." Bald the lawyer who had been engaged by the defendant de-fendant In a breach of promise suit. "1 dread that The pet names I called her will make me look foolish." "1 wouldn't worry," said the lawyer, soothingly. "The court is used to heating terms of that sort and I don't suppose you thought up any. new ones." A 1922 Model. "I want tc marry your daughter, sir." Tm merely her father." "Of course, and that's why I thought It best to consult your wishes." "Thank you for the compliment, young man. The only time that girl ever consults my wishes Is when she pauses to ask If I'd rather give her a chock or cash." HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND "How high can your etar reach?" "Huh 7 She's a singer, not a nigh kicker." All Satisfactory. Hla wife has not a bit of sent, Yet thla don't make him blue. For though his helpmeet ta so dense He la a noodle, too. . I I Prepared. Willis I told my wife Bhe must begin be-gin to economize and that she must keep account of the housesold expenses. ex-penses. Oillls Is she doing it? "She has made a start. She hat bought a $50 desk, a $00 Cling wblnet, and has ordered a $150 adding machine.'' ma-chine.'' Answers. The Main Idea. "We are here to give the people what they want," said a young member mem-ber at a committee meeting. "Shh, my son," said a veteran office of-fice holder. "You still have a great deal to learn. We are here to make the people think we are Indispensable In getting them what they want, whether they get It or not." To Bt Prepared. Mr. Perks I want to take up boi-lng. boi-lng. My wife , Instructor But you can't light your wife. Mr. Perks I know it I'm not even going to try. What I want Is to be able to stand punishment." American Ameri-can Legion Weekly. Those Mad Wags., She My husband has a phonograph this winter and I must say he seems more contented than he ever was before. be-fore. ' He I see. To paraphrase Shakespeare, Shake-speare, "This Is the winter of his dlsc-conlent." DISCORD. Wlfcy You should stop fiddling-away fiddling-away your time. Hubby And you harping on tht, ! strinR. Fooling the Men. A damjei li prankish thing. Phe'll fool you any day. blie lia hir heart upon a string And then h yanks away. Far Thinking. First Doctor What makes you think the patient will die if we don't perform the operation? Second Doctor Tlint I. n't the point. Tills is a new disease, and If he should live without the operation it would ee-tulillsh ee-tulillsh a precedent. Life. . Consistent Peter (after harvest Thanksgiving service) Mummy, what are they going go-ing to do with nil those apples? Mother They're going to the poor people at the hospitals, darling. Peter (recollecting n recent orgy) Hut 1 thought people went to hospitals to be cured of t u tinny pain? -Punch. Revlted Veriion. "Helcln riili't (VHu II book without hai in;,' n box of candy close nt hi ml." "in u case llk( tin t reiidiii' inttk. "in a full fhipper." |