Show c all j Ts a ales e s As A told to ELMO HUNK FRANK E aa SCOTT H HAGAN I 1 WATSON relatively speaking 0 GORDON ORDON C LYNCH of wilmetta JI ill Is I 1 a gentleman farmer forced foiled by economic conditions condition into the path of self belt preservation when I 1 started production of on n perlor eggs west of waukegan wauregan kegan ill says ays lynch my setup consisted of hens but within eight days I 1 tile ilia establishment increased by exactly nineteen nl otteen of my own and my wife relatives these the volunteer devotees of drum ticks sticks and white meat made serious inroads on OB my supply of hens something must be done at great trouble and expense I 1 ob fined bained two fla and three swans which I 1 permitted to intermingle with some chickens in a special pen soon we began to hatch batch a peculiar species opt of fowl featuring a neck which stretched from one rooms end to another other one neck indifferently cooked and laid out on a special table provided ald food for all my visiting relative elvei s two of them pretty near satis fl fled edthe the kinsfolk kinfolk of sirs mrs lynch our to food od problem wits was solved but other hazards arose relatives continued in such numbers I 1 was afraid the laying liens hens would become excited the relatives were jolly carefree distinctly tin aly informal so I 1 added a penguin to the special pen and his correct black and white attire soon contributed a quite formal flavor to the necks which discouraged guests relatively speaking we are now free of f all problems 0 costern union all ales As ai told to ELMO FRANK branke E oa ad SCOTT HAGAN I 1 WATSON battle of the rattlers EATS of st strength almost legendary though their hero is very much alive are heard in ae lie Cumb eilind moun maln of br sewanee i ten n ruck buck as al preston Is best known drove i a 11 light lit n bobile it negotiated mountain trails easily despite a weak beet ne 4 I 1 for punctures ks As frequently as tarel alre went flat buck would jerle jerk away the oae ajer repair and replace re ilace it nil all without no to jck up the e wheel puncture disease annoni annoyed d me only once il i ick st stated ted explaining a rort fort ni bli ts atI absence gence my last repair patch was luit IOU sli six lays davs neo agn in an isolated cove cove that Is twenty seven and one half miles from rm anywhere 1 1 I got stubborn decided jo to stay there indefinitely finally near starved I 1 headed for or home lint flae tire and all dont believe I 1 could fiade nave held out if I 1 steered into a wild cow down on the lie mountainside tile the flivver hit the cow plumb center and boosted I 1 her into the air benoir eboff she land id milked and n d stripped her dry did it with iny my let left li hand and too scooping tile the mill milk into iny mouth with the die right when I 1 turned tile tl ie cow out tr it graze again only one tire had ale in it A rattles rattlesnake nake me m and nd i jerl tl off the like I 1 ire air and all and ad fenced with tile the I 1 ana ke ills HIS 1101 w fan ys s pierced e d th the ln raube but bill I 1 held beld nn 7 IT land landav the tire flatten pd the lie swelled ile he exploded finally and I 1 came lane and here I 1 am a 0 wistern newspaper union n a v tl 1 d dies I 1 e s alo A told to 1 ELMO I 1 fral ik K SCOTT HAGAN HAG w WATSON X the kunfi nish ed Story at tells tall C CHARLES biln lt tales because of saen hours with feeding sheep in the big hunt moun islas 1 0 of f wyoming hut but stran st ely enough 1 his favorite i ahrn am concerns the heart df f chic aitio ins instead cepi tepi d of afie great open spaces spaces ID 1929 lua charlie aarlie tells downtown chicago had numerous ba bianka asand und waity ninny 1 1 I 1 hank bank vice dice presidents their dumbek numbers li however aver some ante of tip the latter were obsessed bof of s nill pl 0 o t alle liick it Is of one obe of ogese these r sing alg ile he lived fashionably T bly on the DOHI shore to the lie loop one clasil tig he the family cut cat dead at his back door it was vas only 19 IS paces 10 a small garden but 11 the banker revolted nt at being seen b burying 1 a citi cat ile he wrapped trapped the car cass 1 na oiled paper Inte intending to cast it int into 0 the river he be al w ways ya crossed downtown two friends joined him at tile the rivers edge which meant that hint the parcel was w aided in ii an n empty safe safe deposit hoi box it at the ebli brinki bank ho homeward evi ard bound tile the banker re 1 tre grieved ed his pl planning annin quick interment on re crossing the he river once 0 gain geln however friends accompanied danied him he boarded a 11 crowded train placed his lil ghastly I 1 parcel in a luggage rack at it lil ills station the banker seized a brown paper parcel in and briteo bolted swallowing lowin pride he decided d on burial in tile hie garden but when he opened the parcel there was ree revealed aled a I 1 booe steak which ail an unknown but s soon oon to be commuter bad 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