Show what at co 6 b b ws i 0 Z about poor los revival ANTA MONICA CALIF S SANTA despite the blessings of civilization which we have be mowed upon them including diseases whisky soda pop and 2 overalls the american indians are increasing this should give our red brothers cause for worry suppose they got eo 90 numerous that I 1 we gave this country back to them already we are indebted to these original inhabitants for quinine cocaine c cotton 0 t t 0 n chocolate tobacco corn b beans e a n s squashes pumpkins grapefruit huckleberries huckle berries and hundreds of other h remedial drugs irvin cob cobb or foodstuffs moreover an eminent authority says the e curative methods of the old in medicine I 1 man had values which in many respects excelled what the white man has produced and suggests our scientists might well adopt certain aspects of the aborigines plan what if we did that very thing and then by the way of exchange invited the tribesmen to take over such trifling problems as an unbalanced budget our european debts sit down strikes and the younger generation era tion L cleaning u up the stage HAVING lost their licenses 1 x teen burlesque houses in new I 1 york wont ever get them back if ff the officials keep their word about it with this example to go by authorities ties might next try the idea of cleaning up the legitimate stage there the spawning place and breeding ground of shows which filthy lines and filthier scenes are freely offered to popeyed pop eyed audiences recruited from what we call our best families poisoning the moral atmosphere of the theater appears to be the favorite sport of a new school of dramatists who when the they y I 1 were little boys had their mouths mouth si washed out with soap for using dirty words yet never got over the habit the fate of beauty queens JUST as the weather gets warm so the contestants wont catch anything worse than sunburn that outbreak ot of annual monotony known a as the beauty contest will stir the populace to heights of the utmost indifference there will be no dress rehearsals hear beforehand with beauty contests its the other way around and then when miss cherokee I 1 or miss clear view has been hailed as americas prize package of loveliness she will if she runs true to form put her clothes back on and catch the next train for california with the intention of starring in the movies on arrival she will be pained to note that none of the studio heads Is waiting at the station to sign her up also that practically all the starring jobs are being held heid by young ladies who in addition to good looks have that desirable little thiril thing called personality and next la fall I 1 shell be dealing ern cm off the arm in a hollywood ha bashery hash shery cry international slickers D persist that the united estates RS states tates great britain and france are preparing for eventual agreements on monetary stabilization tariff and trade adjustments price fixing of essential commodities and believe it or not brethren and listren a settlement of the defaulted foreign debts owed to us maybe its significant or if you want to be broadminded and charitable about it merely a coincidence that every dispatch from european sources on this matter lists the debts last and verily I 1 say unto you that s exactly when and where they will come last I 1 seem to see the big three gathered at the council table for the final session and la belle france moving that everything else having been arranged to the satisfaction of the majority present and the hour being late the detail of those debts be put over to some future date dale john bull seconds the motion motion carried by a vote of 2 to 1 uncle sam being feebly recorded in the negative A sense of humor adwise TAMON AMON RUNYON who being wise should know better reopens the issue ot of whether many people have a sense of humor this provokes somebody to inquire what is humor anyhow I 1 stand by this definition humor is tragedy standing on an its head with its pants torn lots of folks think a sense of humor is predicated on the ability to laugh at other folks which is wrong A real sense of humor is based on our eur ability to laugh at ourselves you have to say not as puck did what fools these mortals be but what fools we mortals be why few women have a true sense of humor usually a woman even a witty woman takes herself vo so seriously she can never regard herself un seriously IRVIN S COBB 0 service |