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Show FLORIDA George Jefferson, who recently returned re-turned from an extended trip to Florida, and Havana, describes that wonderful s'at- a' out as follows: Florida is the chin whiskers of the United States. It is six hundred miles long, two hundred miles wide and three feet high. It is bounded on the north by the Eighteenth Amendment and on the other three sides by the three-mile limit. Florida is inhabited by the Indians, In-dians, Americans, White Men and Feedbag tourists, sometimes called Tincanners all of whom are real estate dealers: The Reds live on the Everglades, the Blacks live on the Whites, and the Tourists and Tincanners live on the Municipal Camp Grounds. Florida's principal sources of income in-come are hotels, fruit, alligator skins, tourists and the best press agents east of California. But the one outstanding feature of Florida is its fruit, orange-rais- j ing coming first, of course. Raising oranges in Florida is a cinch. All that is required is enough money to live on while raising rais-ing oranges. The next Florida fruit in importance import-ance is the grapefruit. A grapefruit is a cross between a lemon, a dose of quinine and a pumpkin. It has the color and disposition of a blonde ticket seller at a moving picture theatre. They are usually eaten at breakfast, thus giving the double advantage of a meal and the morn- ing shower bath at the same time. The tangerine is a distinct cousin of the orange. It wears a loose and careless mother hubbard style wrapper, wrap-per, is easier to disrobe than the orange, but is of a more dry, with ered and disappointing disposition when undressed. The kumquat is the only thing in Florida that acts up to its name. It looks and tastes just the way It sounds. |