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Show fni.PhilIipj- S3 V SrA HENRY BAILING OUT Henry Ford is leaping out of the airplane after the war, with or without with-out a parachute. He wants no part of winged Mercury Mer-cury in the postwar world, and will turn him in for good old Lizzie. The great Willow Run factory that is turning one bomber out every ev-ery hour will get back to earth and spawn flivvers at the first opportunity, oppor-tunity, Henry announces. He expects to sell a million cars a year, and he sees longer lines in front of the Ford salesrooms than there are in front of "Oklahoma!" As Hank sees it, the people are craving to leap from battles to rattles. rat-tles. They are yearning for the time when the word "objective" will again mean a hotdog stand at the seaside, when a spearhead will be just a point in a traffic jam, and when all communiques will read: "We made broad advances on all approaches to the bathing beach this morning." Ford has been a miracle man in the bomber business, but his heart belongs to Lizzie. His one desire is to get back to a vehicle that drops nothing bigger than a nut. ruins nothing but an enemy fender and has but one target: tar-get: life, liberty and the pursuit of detours. Hen was never happy watching those bombers roll off his production lines. They lacked the family touch, the defective headlight and the optional op-tional upholstery. He was a dejected figure as he looked at a Ford product prod-uct which allowed for no back-scat driving, no loose door handles and no complaints about the windshield wiper. Henry pioneered the auto in order to give man more pleasure, wider travel and an opportunity for nervous nerv-ous breakdowns over a greater expanse of territory. He never thought any vehicle of his would destroy cities and . lick master races. He pines for the end of the war and the return of the day when the question of the hour will be "has mother packed the lunch for the trip to Lake Polliwog?" and not "What's the target for tonight?" And when the only briefing will be "Keep her down to 45 an hour." His idea of a great picture is that of John Smith, Mrs. Smith, the Smith kids and Rover all jammed into the touring car, their faces agleam, their hearts high, with no hatred for anybody except a motorcycle motor-cycle cop, and no desire to kill anybody except the inventor of the red light. We're with you, Hank. Down with the bombers! Long live Lizzie! MCGOOFEY'S FIRST READER Q. Oh, see the towel! A. The towel has seen better days. Q. Yes, it looks more like a floor mop. ' Q. Where is the towel? A. It is on the counter in many a soda fountain, lunch counter or milk bar. I Q. What is the towel there for? A. To keep the counter clean and sanitary. Q. Are you kidding? A. No, but the board of health must be. Q. Who Is this? A. This is John Q. Public. Q. He looks sick. A. He IS sick. Q. What is the matter with him? Oh, why is he in such condition? A. .Those soda fountain, milk bar and lunch room towels have a lot to do with it. Q. Why doesn't he complain? A. He did. Q. What happened? A. The attendant asked if he didn't know there was a war on. Q. Who is this? A. This is an attendant. Q. How can you tell? A. By the dirty apron and dirty towel. Q. What is that spot where he is washing the glasses? A. That is dirty water. Q. Isn't there a health law on that, too? A. Aw, stop kiddin', will ya? Prof. Morton C. Kahn of Cornell has discovered that mosquitoes have love songs. Each species has its distinct dis-tinct torch number, he declares. We suppose favorite skeeter songs are "Everytime We Say Good Bite," and "Sting for Your Supper." DO YOU KNOW HER? The dame who gets me incoherent Is the smug and doting parent Whose own child is a plaster saint While other children . . . well, just ain't. ' Joan D'Arcy O'Sullivan. |