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Show "You ought to be careful what you are saying, Zupp," he advised. "From a big mouth many a feller comes to pay fifty dollars for a smart lawyer to got a libel case thrown out of court already." "A rabbi would tell you the same what I do, Birsky. The difference between be-tween a sneak thief and a feller which lives beyond his means is that the sneak thief robs only from perfect strangers." "What do you mean robbing?" Birsky Bir-sky protested. "According to you, if a feller buys a couple thousand dollars goods which he needs it in his business, busi-ness, understand me, on credit sixty days, y'understand, and then he couldn't pay for 'em, understand me, be Is robbing already. An idee !" "I didn't say no such thing," Zapp declared. de-clared. "All I says is if a feller buys a couple thousand dollars goods which he needs In his business on sixty days' credit, and he couldn't pay for 'em on account he is buying for net cash an automobile which he didn't need and couldn't afford, understand me, then he is robbing, Birsky, and that's all there is to it." "How do you know Rebfleld gives cash for the automobile, Zapp?" "A question I" Zapp exclaimed. "Automobiles "Au-tomobiles is always sold for cash, Birsky, Bir-sky, in especially to fellers which couldn't afford an automobile, understand under-stand me, because If such a feller would buy one on ten days' credit only, tlnued. "Because for a thousand dollars dol-lars only, Zapp, you could get a car mit thirty-five horsepower already, five passenger body, electric self-starter and lighter and everything up to date. Such a car is a gen'wiue burgaiu at one thousand dollars." "If you could afford the thousand dollars, Birsky," Zapp said, "which the way the realestate business is dead nowadays, Birsky, you've got about as much chance as I've got to buy a thousand thou-sand dollar automobile." Birsky hid the lower one-third of his blushes in a cup of coffee. "The fact is," he said at last, "I've got maturing on me this week for fifteen fif-teen hundred dollars an endowment policy, Zapp, and if you would come up to my house next Sunday morning we'll take a little run out to Ozone Grove, and I'll show you them lots I was talking talk-ing to you about." "You mean them lots they threatened threat-ened last month to foreclose on you, Birsky?" Zapp asked. Birsky's fatfe grew a shade more crimson. "I paid 'em two hundred dollars a bonus, and they gave me a three-year extension," he explained huskily and gulped down the remainder of his coffee. cof-fee. "How much was that mortgage?" Zapp inquired. "Just fifteen hundred dollars," Blr-, sky admitted. "And do you think you would got! , , ,.. "There Is More Fellers Feels Like Committing Murder the Day After One Delicatessen Supper. iipBIRSKYjl I iZAPP 1 1 ' ! ) ' By MONTAGUE GLASS -HE HIGH cost of living is ter- I rible expensive nowadays," Louis Birsky the real estater Temarked. as he seated himself opposite oppo-site Barnet Zapp in Wasserbaure's Kestouraut. This observation had been provoked by a notice in the bill of Tare that oa and after a certain date the 40 cent regular dinner would be Increased to 50 cents, and Zapp looked up from a plate of lokshen soup to indorse in-dorse Birsky's sentiment with a nod so emphatic that drops of the greasy fluid Were scattered all around. "I bet yer," Zapp said, cleansing his mustache with his lower lip. "Only this morning I see it costs Marcus Fast two thousand dollars for an automobile automo-bile already." "You don't tell me !" Louis exclaimed. ex-claimed. "And Harris Shapolnik must also got to pay for some diamonds fifteen hundred hun-dred dollars," Zapp continued, while Birsky wagged his head from side to side and made incoherent noises through his nose indicative of shocked surprise. "I always thought them two fellers was pretty saving with their money," he commented. "A couple of tighter propositions don't exist at all," Zapp agreed. "Then what do they go to work and buy all them things for?" Birsky asked. "Who says they bought 'em?" Zapp a iked. "All I says is that Marcus Fast pays two thousand dollars for an automobile auto-mobile and Harris Shapolnik pays fifteen fif-teen hundred dollars for some diamonds, dia-monds, understand me, but it was Jacob Ja-cob J. Rebfleld who bought the automobile auto-mobile and Sam Pitz bought the diamonds. dia-monds. Also I could prove it to you, black on white." Here he produced a clipping ' which read as follows: BUSINESS TROUBLES Rebfleld & Pitz. Schedules in the bankruptcy of Rebfleld & Pitz, cloak and suit manufacturers, were filed In the office of the clerk of the United States District Court yesterday. The principal creditors are as follows: Franco-American Woollen Co. ?21, 432.55 Kosciusko Bank (secured) 10,642.80 M. Fast & Co 2,080.45 H. Shapolnik & Son 1,525.00 "What did them Franco-American people pay for?" Birsky asked. "A steam yatch?" "I couldn't tell you exactly," Zapp replied, "but you could reckon twenty-five twenty-five hundred dollars that Mrs. Rebfleld Reb-fleld must got to go to Palm Beach a year ago, understand me, and another couple thousand that Bertha Pitz is the Belle of the Boardwalk in Arverne last summer, Birsky, and that's the way it goes." "Them two boys certainly lived beyond be-yond their means," Zapp said. "And It ain't their fault that they didn't live beyond Marcus Fast's means and Harris Shapolnik's means also, because when a business man starts in to live beyond his means, Birsky, he's got a downtown conscience con-science and an uptown conscience. That's why when Rebfleld buys his automobile au-tomobile on Broadway and Fifty-seventh Street for net cash, he didn't worry himself how much he owes to a couple of Canal Street woollen houses like Marcus Fast and Harris Shapolnik." Shapol-nik." "Ain't it funny how most of them extravagant ex-travagant fellers is got such an elegant reputation for good pay?" Birsky said. "On the West Side above Forty-second Street," Zapp amended. "And that's what I'm telling you, Birsky. Marcus Fast pays for Rebfield's automobile, auto-mobile, just so sure as If he would of ri r . ., a'gj "He Didn't Vorry Himself How Much He Owes." made out a check The order of the feller thatso it, Birsky, and all them diamonds Bertha Pitz wears should ought to be hanging on Mrs. Shapolnik Shapol-nik right now. In fact, Mrs. Shapolnik don't know It, Birsky, but Sam Titz tole them diamonds from her." ! Birsky hhruged his shoulders depre-Jtatlngly. and in between times his rent or life insurance falls due, understand me, it would take so much enjoyment out of riding in the automobile, that right away he finds out the linings ain't up to sample or the buttons ain't sewed on correct or something. The automobile automo-bile dealers figured it right, Birsky. I wish the waist business was on a C. O. D. basis, too. Because a concern which sells goods for cash, Birsky, never gets no cancellations from nobody." "Never mind, Zapp. Tou would see that pretty soon the automobilers would sell on credit, too. People ain't going to be so crazy to buy automobiles, automo-biles, now that gasolene is shoved up so high," Birsky said. "Well, that don't change my plans any," Zapp replied, "because the way the waist business is after Christmas, Birsky, if I owned the Hudson River and automobiles was run with water, I couldn't afford a pushcart even." "Even so, Zapp, there's lots of fellers fel-lers in the delicatessen business which is obliged to run automobile deliveries, and for every penny they've got to pay more on gasolene, they stick two cents a pound on pastrami oder Frankfurters." Frank-furters." "That again Is something for a manufacturer of sodamint Oder pepsin tablets to worry nbout, not me, Birsky. Anyhow, Birsky, if cigar stores couldn't sell cigarettes to minors under un-der the age of sixteen, there ought to be a law prohibiting dlicatessen dealers deal-ers from selling their mnchshovos to adults over the age of twenty-five. In fact, Birsky, If Kansas and Maine would go prohibition on delicatessen instead of schnapps, Birsky, not only would it be better for business, y'understand, y'un-derstand, but there would be less crimes also, on account there i more fellers feels like committing murder the day after one delicatessen supper than ten minutes after a hundred highballs, high-balls, and don't you forget it. And that's only one reason why Rockefeller ain't doing no harm by putting up the price of gasolene, because when I am getting heart trouble from crossing Fifth Avenue at 4 o'clock In the afternoon, after-noon, I wish automobiles was run, not with gasolene, but with benedictine oder bay rum at a dollar thirty-five a quart." "That's where you're makins a big J mistake, Zapp," Birsky said. "Nowadays "Nowa-days for an up-to-date feller, in a way, an automobile Is, so-to-speak, practically practic-ally a necessity." "A four thousand dollar automobile is a necessity!" Zapp cried. "A four thousand dollar car I ain't speakin' about at all." Birsky con- the money when the three years Is up 7" Zapp insisted. "I don't know," Birsky retorted, "and I don't care, Zapp. Because we only live once, Zapp, and we are soon dead." "Sooner, even," Zapp concluded, "If you ride fast enough in automobiles." (Copyright, New York Tribune.) Pearl Fishers. It is a well-known fact that pearl fishers and divers do not live long. They often have to dive for 100 feet or more without any special outfit, and the strain wears them out before their lives are really half over. From a depth of 100 feet a pearl diver usually brings up two oyster shells at a time. It is exciting work. The diver never knows whether he has brought to the surface a shell Inclosing a priceless gem or not. The Malay pearl divers are, perhaps, the finest in the world. When he is going to dive, the Malay slowly lowers himself down from the side of the bont to the water and takes several breaths, each breath getting deeper and deeper. Finally, he takes a tremendously long breath, turns head downward, and plunges into the ocean depths. . In two, three or perhaps four, minutes his form is seen in the water coming up. His face is turned upward. up-ward. His strong hands beat the water wa-ter away from under him in vigorous downward sweeps. His face looks terribly ter-ribly strained. At last, breathless, exhausted, ex-hausted, he reaches the surface and is hauled into the bont, where he lies quite still for a few moments, apparently appar-ently exhausted. But in comparatively comparative-ly few minutes he Is ready to plunge again. As Bad as a Mule. "Yes," said the mighty hunter, "it's an old gun, I grant you. But what times we've had together!" ne fondled fon-dled it, stock and barrel, as if it were a child. "Ah, many a time I might have been a dead man but for this out-of-date weapon !" "Looks as though it had a rather hefty kick in it," said the young soldier. sol-dier. "Oh, I should say so! It's got the fiercest recoil that any rifle ever had. That's what makes it so valuable. Why, once out In the Rockies a grizzly bear was charging me. I fired' and missed. Believe me. If it hadn't been for the fact that the kick in this rifle jerked me back thirty yards and enabled me to reload well, I shouldn't be talking talk-ing to you today. Tes; It's got a great deal of kick !" Then they arose and gave him und , his gun another. |