| Show L Give Opposing Sex Their Rights X py RING lUNG LARDNER To fo the Editor Ladies and others of the female sex that Is always s 's shrilling for tor equal rights with we bo boys s 's and want the same prIvileges we have got well I 1 wIshed they could enjoy the prIvilege o every A. A M. M and anda u a specially goIng shopping In a barbershop barber shop once In n a while for fOl a hull hair cut or somethIng but unfortunately most of the fair sex Is liI like a the Russians and eIther dont don't or dont don't bave to do neither one und and wont won't never ne know what they the are mIssIng Only some of t the 1 gals that's In the business of pairing your our nails naUs can even en guess at the delights ot of a barber shop yourself Is sport enough and always keeps me lulng In bed u a couple of extra hrs lookIng forward to It but the tale real treat comes when the hair begins to drape Itself down around the hc cars and you get a hint from some reliable source that it 11 would be feasible to her If you spent the lunch hr hrIn in a tonsorial parlor b be because cause what Is the use of looking like a vIrtuoso when you got a name that can be pronounced Well I was out In old Chi a few weeks ago and to show you what I went through Ill I'll tell teU you what I 1 went through iu In the first place I 1 roamed Into a barber burber shop which Is like most other barber shops on acct of the barbers beIng natives of the country where the national flower Is garlic and I dumb into a steamer chair and D. D Annunzio tied on my napkin and leant over me so as we was on intimate Inti inti- mate terms and asked me what did didI I want As soon as I got so as I 1 could breathe I says I wanted my hull hair trimmed and also myself and a shave share besides And I says Just trim Ulm my hair hah around the edges and don dont use the clipper on the sides and dont don't take ik eye even a lIttle bit ort off top No IINo he says You look like need some put on on In the old days of chivalry beauts they couldn't of been no the former that could train a delicate compliment than u. u ba What this meant to sUbtly vey was that he had noticed enough Ito to see that some of my hud had fell tali down like London the Philadelphia Nationals Well he started out with the pers pel's at the base of the skull u a orders but the next thing I was way way up above the ears wit same utensil and had the of the old bean pretty near be before before fore I could say Jack Robinson incidentally I hadn't no desIre t ta a specially to a barber burber Well the right side of your head shaved you yon have got to let th side know what the rIght sl si been did to it so I to toto to go ahead and when I got tl with the hair trim I looked left hander from Marion Ohl Maybe I could have stopped time it if he hadn't started a fa lug Ing conversation In the origin tic Ue I Was you at the worlds I he says and I says sas Yes What did you think of It h Nobody that was there thInk I says Well he says lilt It was no s sto to me No I says All us expert how It was going to come o a aa oa a recent war between Germa Turkey vs the Allies AlUes but ev was pretty reticent WI till it coThen co Then TheIl he asked me what I 1 of the White Sox and the Cu Jack the order named and I saId I 1 thought they would all lose and finely he asked me did I want a shave and I told hIm hImI I dont don't never want one but there was wasa a certain that InsIsted 1 better get one once In a while so 80 he begins to shave me and just then thena a bIg thunder storm started outside where they most generally always starts and It seems that this guy was wasn wasa n a scared of thunder like a lot of dogs and every time they was a clap of thunder ho he would lose control of the African stiletto and cut a fresh slice of boiled ham so when he was through with that major operation he asked me what did I want on my hair and andI I tole him my hat Listen he says Did you ever have your hair huir cinched It closes up tile the ends and keeps the oil all from comeing comeing come come- ing out Well I 1 says III I guess you are rIght as I 1 made a few little investments Invest invest- ments In oil all wells that they told me was a cinch and no oil all ever come out Well ho says III I bet it if you had had your hair cinched It would benefit your hair Never mind mind I says I have Quit betting on cinches Well he says How Bow about a little tonic I suppose you want 10 a pint I 1 says Noth Nothing ng doing I know a Dr where I can got a prescription v How about n a little O. O D D. Qui nine ho bo asked me So I 1 asked ed him how about a little speed and a little check but the check said 85 cents and the time Ume elapsed was 1 hr and reckoning my time at 10 cents per hr makes a total of at 95 05 cents So all In all i 1 wish ladles of the opposing sex could spend a term In Inn ina n a tonsorIal parlor or library or living rm and I bet they wouldn't be so wild for tor the privileges we boys enjoy g by the Dell en 11 ta Ina |
