Show o. o I. I f Learn to Play t k Lip Golf Golf 3 r By RING LARDNER y I 9 I To To the Editor It It takes all ull kinds ot of golf golt players to tomake snake make a world In we the good old summer summertime summertime time but along about this time of yr tileY's theys only 2 classes you might say namely Imply marred men and guys that cnn can afford to go South The 1st named has hnS' got a bIg advantage inmany In Inmany many wu ways s For they ont dont halt to spend from 1 night to a wk In ono of them new tangle angle Pul witch some people calls a sleeping car I could go on and name a whole lot ot of other advantages witch a marred man has got It if they was any On the other hand the bachelors goes South In the winter and can cun golf golt all the yr around and are right on their game when the season opens up north whereas the men with baggage has hns got to begin all over again every May and It generally always takes th them m till the 1st ot of Nov to find out what Is the matter with their game Well anyway nuy last spring I hadn't no more than mastered the neck of gett getting ng orr of the 1st tee In 2 when they was a nation wide clamor for a good reporter to write up the big subjects ot of the day and I had to spend most of the fall In the rough namely the World Series out In old and the one out in New York The net results was that 1 didn't really renny start to begin to commence my golf till the central part ot Oct My brother marred men will say yes but what are we ve going to do about it gents I dont don't know what you are going to do about It but personally I have bave got up a game witch 1 have named Up lip golf and I 1 have ha tried It out with grand gral success und and wile It dont don't gIve a man no physIcal physical phys phys- Ical exercise why It keeps their mInd mIndon on golf golt and dont don't allow them to for for- et It during the off orr season and when they start playing again In the spring they have at least got the language at their tongues and dont don't halt half to waste 7 or 8 ks mastering the all allover over o again and It can be played In the house any time ot of day or night and In all kinds ot of weather The rules rules rules' of lip golf golt Is the foiling No matter what remarks the wife makes the husbands husband's s 's Is to be given In golf golt parlance Teats Teat's all they Is to the rules and anybody can learn It In one lesson and the best lime Ume to try It out Is at a meal For suppose sup sup- pose the kiddies has been tucked away for the night In the waste ba basket ket and andou you ou and the wife wIte has bas set down to din nero ner Your part the ot-the foiling conversation conver conver- would be what you might call par Up lip golf golt AN GAME Wife What train dm did you come out outon outon on Husband I missed the first two but got home on my third Wife Wife-We caught a mouse this p. p m. m Husband Did he get Into a trap WIre Wife Carrie killed hips him with a broom Husband That's a good Carrie Wife Wife-I'm goIng to get rid ot of her though Ill I'll tell her ber Ive I've decIded to do domy domy my own work Husband Husband-A fine fino Ue I Will Wife you have bave some more mor bread I Husband cant can't get iet rid ot of thIs slice No Wife more potatoes or nothing HoW Husband IS the greens gree All WIfe gon gone Im I'm sorry Did you have much lunch I Husband had bad a couple ot of good rolls roUs WIfe WIfe-We must hire a new fear Gus dont don't never clean the car Husband Cant drIve neIther The Wife garage man says he can get us a good one Husband pret pretending Husband he be has bas a Caddy old Yes WIfe you better see him Hu Husband I band I hooked one ne tod today y Oh Wife you did l f Who Husband Hazzar WIfe The Bucks Bucks' driver But I thought they paid him 25 a wk I I Husband topped It But Wife we cant can't afford It I Husband J Why not noU You Wire cant can't always ways win at pok I ere er By the way how bow much d does es' es the boys you from last night Husband Spalding ro Victor 76 75 and the Colonel 81 Wife Wife-I bet bel Victor tell teU his wife She's a terrible loser You and her would make a good team You ought to know her ber Husband o Husband Oh Wife that's right Say what I do you think ot of them t i 61 d forKs Ma sent nU Husband Wife WIte They cost SO Ii a dozen Husband Evans 1 I Wife suppose It if I am going to cnn can Carrie I should o ht to glue to-glue gly her hor I notice But she ahe would get mad and and quit before I cou could d find somebody somebody some some- body else f r. r Locker Husbands roo You Wife You m must st run n u and change your close clo Wo We only got It 15 mInutes ill i'll be down downIn In 7 7 This Is a sample ot of par lip golf and If the wife knows the game why so much the better as she can make It n a 2 some It If she dont don't why she ahe will wUl I think you have went cuckoo and sew you ou for a bill of divorce In that case you are as al good as 89 a bach bach- elor But live give It a trial anyway I Brother end and it If your gape is II lUll any whores wheres near mine why at leaf lea you IOU cant do It no harm t Z b bJ tbs I 1111 J e 1 |