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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Is Absent Husband Still the Boss? Bell Syndicate. WNTJ Features. "I am a nurse and do part-time duty in the hospital " By KATHLEEN NORRIS T TOW much should the I 1 wishes and opinions J- of a man who is overseas over-seas influence his wife here at home?" demands Anna Sawyer of Seattle. "I am 28, have been married six years and have two little boys," her letter goes on. "My husband has now been away for almost two years. We had been making mak-ing payments on a house when he went away, but it was not a house I had ever especially liked. It is too large for us, and stands on too small a lot; it has never seemed homelike to me. Tod's father found it for us and made the first payment. pay-ment. "About eight months ago I had a good offer for it, and I sold it, beginning begin-ning again to make payments on a far more attractive one-story house, which was not too much for me to manage. I am a nurse, and do part-time duty in the hospital. My boys, four and three, are in school from nine to four. For this I pay $70 a month; they love their school, are safe and happy, and it is a chance for me to do my bit of war work. "Last month I was offered a handsome hand-some rent for my house, which I decided de-cided to take, moving in with my stepmother, who is also, incidentally, incident-ally, my husband's aunt. We met In her house. Tod loves his aunt, and is glad we are friends, but he writes me angrily that he thinks I made a terrible mistake combining households. He says it never works, with two women. He doesn't want the boys to be in that expensive expen-sive school, he resents my selling the house, says he has no interest at all in the new house, and that as he feels now he'd just as soon not come home; wife working instead of caring for her children, home sold, and family moved in with his aunt. Directions for Afar. "Now what I want to ask you," the letter goes on, "is just how much right a man has to send directions home from the war zones. Aren't e wives entitled to use our own Judgment and live in our own way, hile the men are gone? Wouldn't If be ridiculous for Auntie and me to write him obediently that because be-cause he disapproved we had nhanged all our plans? We love each tjther; she is a widow of 38, has a boy of 15, teaches school, and loves me and my children. Her home Is comfortable and spacious, with plenty of playroom and garden. "A letter received from my husband hus-band today ends with this remark; 'please write me at once that you ! have abandoned all idea of com-j com-j binirg households with Auntie, have j given up your nursing and taken j the boys out of that expensive school. Otherwise I will feel very differently about this war that we are supposedly sup-posedly fighting to protect the homes we left behind us.' What shall I j write in answer?" .... j My answer, Anna, is that Tod is ; taking- a most unfortunate and unjustifiable un-justifiable position. In plain words, it's none of his bufincss what you decide to do while he is away. Men . are totally incapable of visualizing Mm j "The boys are safe and happy . , A WIFE'S DECISIONS While her husband is aivay at war, Anna has had to manage man-age the home, making her own decisions as well as she could. She has two sons, four and three years old. Recently she sold the house at a good price and has moved in with her husband's aunt. The boys have been placed in a private school. This arrangement seems quite satisfactory to everyone except Anna's husband. hus-band. Tod. Tod writes from overseas that he dosnt like it at all. He didnt want the house sold; he doesn't want the boys to be in such an expensive school. Lastly, he fears that his wife and his aunt will eventually I quarrel that no household is "big enough for two women." what these lonely, strange war years mean to women, and consequentlj can't Imagine why women do whai they can to make home conditions bearable. Go straight ahead as you are go ing, and don't make any explanations explana-tions or excuses in your letters tc Tod. Continue to write him cheerful, gossipy letters full of the children's affairs, news of his old friends, with clippings from newspapers anc magazines that are of interest tc him. Don't argue the matter at all. or excuse yourself. Wisest Course. It seems to me you are acting very wisely. You are helping wit? the great need of nurses; you art certainly saving money; you have worked out an excellent solutior for the boys, and have found your self a congenial comfortable homt and a beloved companion. If everj woman in your predicament coulc solve her problems as simply there would be much less straightening out of tangles to face after the war Of course, always keep on the note that when Tod comes back you wil be together again with the boys, and with nobody else, for house mates. Meanwhile consider youi home problems as much your owr affair as war problems are his. Yoi are not writing him directions as tc what hours to keep, what friends tc ! make, what food to eat. You know ! that the dread machine of war ha; 1 gripped him, and that until it lets go he must do the best he can, and like all the rest of us get througV ! these awful years day by day, will 1 whatever philosphy we can muster, Certainly we want to write the boys good news, to keep them frorr whatever distresses them, to as-; as-; sure them that while they are doin their job so magnificently, we arc handling ours courageously, too. Bui to supinely take directions afTectjn your personal life from a man thou sands nf miles away, a man whe naturally has no idea of what is meant by shortages of gas anc domestic help, butter and shoes transportation, living quarters anc commodities generally, would be tc show yourself too weak a woman tc be of any use in the heroic postwai world we mu?t so soon construct And you don't sound like that sort o a womr:n. Sink of the Future. A prominent plumbing mnnufac' turer is asking the women of Amcri ca to m?ke sufmf-Mmns for the kinc of sink they want when the war i; over. Some of the q i : c ? t ions askec are: Should faucets be hand oper ated or knee operated or have foo' pedal control? Is an exposed swing faucet or a pull-out rubber hose will-spray will-spray preferable? Should there be b built-in rubber covered drain rack, an eieclric towel dryer, a pull-oul bin for pots that would rm?e to table level during working hours? |