| Show Kathleen n Norris Says Y Young Dung Marriage 1 Is Unbalanced Business Bell Syndicate Service v i p J JL L 7 I D O l i f 1 4 t r o j- j d dI I G 1 I AN 04 When a girl of D 18 18 marries everything is u joyous tumult pour in a Grandmothers Grandmother's veil veils veil's is brought out of 0 dizzying number of rocks of frocks arc bought the linen chest a G photographer takes pictures of little o little Betsey By KATHLEEN NORRIS OST girls like the idea M MOST of marrying young At 17 a normal girl walking home from high school between two girl chums feels in her soul that if she could have the excitement excitement excitement excite excite- ment and glory of quietly announcing announcing announcing an an- that she and Peter Baker are going to be married on her graduation day she wouldn't care much what else happened or didn't happen in all the years to come Betsey engaged gasp the aunts Why mercy on us how old oldis oldis oldis is the child Ill be 18 In June Betsey reminds reminds reminds re re- re- re minds them demurely But inside her nothing Is demure Everything is joyous tumult Pride thrill expectation expectation expectation ex ex- ex- ex love of the nice boy who loves her so madly all these keep Betsey's spirits at high level during her last weeks as a girl Other things contribute Presents pour in dizzying numbers of frocks are bought parties are given There is an adorable little apartment to furnish there is a sparkling ring Grandmothers Grandmother's wedding veil is brought out of the linen chest a photographer comes to take pictures of little Betsey hid half behind the folds of it The Miracle of ot Marriage l In all of this Peters Peter's image becomes becomes be be- comes somewhat fogged in Betsey's mind He is there of course loving loving lov lov- ing lag and happy but he is really much less important in the eyes of an year old girl than the fit of her wedding gown Betsey in hi all her life has never been lonely ignored ignored ig ig- ig nored doubtful hungry for friend friend- ship By no possibility can she value value value val val- ue Peters Peter's affection rightly or estimate estimate estimate esti esti- mate this miracle that is marriage at its true worth No it is all fun for her Betsey has smart little calling cards with Mrs Peter Arnold Baker engraved engraved engraved en en- graved upon them at 18 But at 19 at 20 the glow begins to pale It isn't that she doesn't love Peter and dear little ridiculous ridiculous lous bus Patsy but Betsey isn't the center center center cen cen- ter of attention any more The other girls who looked on impressed and perhaps a little envious two years ago are arc in the full swing of lifes life's happiest days now Betsey is missing all of this she is married Peter has changed from rom the carefree sweetheart of a few years ago he has n ft wife and baby to support now I was married nt at 18 Betsey can still say proudly But it doesn't seem to matter any Rny more She is beginning dimly to perceive that the very young w wife e has an obligation that sits badly on young shoulders Hers Ders Must lust Wait Janet Is 36 now she married at 18 and has two daughters of 16 and 13 Her husband had two girls by his first marriage also they are arenow arenow arenow now in their early twenties going out a good deal and never so happy as when their handsome father shares their social engagements He gives them dances at the country club little downtown dinners and now that Emily the oldest is engaged engaged engaged en en- to an army captain the house Is in a flurry of wedding From the moment I married Emmet Janet writes everyone seemed to regard me as asa asa asa a settled old woman I am not old even now but with two great girls at the awkward ages I am not included included in in- in any young parties Emmet wants Emily and Isabel to have everything everything everything ev ev- ev- ev I I thought when we were OLD AT 20 You cant can't expect twenty years from now to recapture the youth you lost by marrying marrying marrying marry marry- ing at 17 or 18 If you try you will probably become one oneo o of f those pathetic middle-aged middle women who refuse stubbornly to grow old gracefully thereby thereby thereby there there- by losing not only the joy of youth but the charm and peace o of f the later years Not all such marriages turn out badly But more often than not when the novelty and glamour wears thin and marriage marriage marriage mar- mar becomes the serious business it really is the bride o of f less than 20 years begins to realize that she is no longer a girl She is at 20 already too old for her age married that I would have the managing managing managing man man- aging of his house and his children but from the first Emmets Emmet's sister who lived next door practically ran our house and the girls were In school When they came Emmet was so delighted to have two young lady daughters to spoil that I was reduced reduced reduced re re- to a working housekeepers housekeeper's position and anything my own girls wanted had to wait until their half half- sisters had had a chance at the social social social so so- cial whirl a chance to go the right places and meet the right men Just to give you an idea Isabel when she leaves the thc house will call callup callup callup up to me Two extra for dinner Janet Emily borrowed a fur coat my aunt left me just for this once once and has been wearing it all winter When I spoke to Emmet about it and said I had intended to cut it into muffs for Jane and Diana my own girls he laughed and said that long before they were ready for muffs the coat would be moth eaten anyway Inconsiderate Demands I feel as i if I had thrown away my life no girlhood really no young young of dancing and good times maternal problems with the children of a man more than twice my age when I was only 18 and now nothing but slavery in a family of six with constant problems of company meals parties late hours and the inconsiderate demands of two spoiled girls Except for occasional occasional occasional occa occa- help by the hour my girls and I do all the work Just now the letter concludes Emmet is asking me to put a mortgage mortgage mort mort- gage on our own home so that he can make the down payment on a ahome ahome ahome home for Emily and Martin Well little little girl girl marriages dont don't always always always al al- ways mean total eclipse But they almost always present problems that tha t can be solved only by the sudden sudden sudden sud sud- den and painful growing up of the little girl She doesn't long hold the proud position of a young queen adored by her older husband and hardly older herself than those children she is mothering so charm charm- For a few months or a year she does bustle about identified in inthe inthe inthe the shops as that pretty wife girl of Doctor Brown for a few years she talks with precocious wisdom like a grave little girl playing mamma about what she and Harry mean todo to todo todo do for Toddy and Nancy But very shortly she learns that even Titania when she marries has hasto hasto hasto to keep a house comfortable and a cook pacified that Toddy is an unpleasantly un un- unpleasantly pleasantly spoiled little boy who runs to his grandmother with all his troubles troubles troubles trou trou- bles and makes a partisan of his father and that Nancy doesn't like I her and never will |
