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Show I know you do." Which shoudl work both ways, especially on the Cousin Eggheads in general. It Is just as well that he takes the birds because it is not appetising to sit down to a pheasant dinner and see most of the bird displaying display-ing large tooth marks where the zealous hounds have chewed and fought over them. Chatter Box Dear Suzy, It was all the farmers fault. They worked to get rid of the quimps and ground hogs and now that they have they hae no holes left in the ground in which to poke trespassing pheasant hunters, to be let out come some Tuesday, if ever to be let out. Or if the farmers won t take the blame, it is the fault of the fish and game commission. They should plan to open the pheasant season on Halloween, because the hobgoblins and zanies are out any way and it wouldn't be a bit out of form or character to let them go right on pheasant hunting. Pheasant hunting must be fun, v,o.ni,co nnvthiner can hao- Some fields are missing. And it will be well into spring before the effects of the past season can be lived down. A typical pheasant hunter is a normal person at times, but one can easily fall from that role. Just give him a gun or facsimile of the same, equal parts of shotgun shells and whiskey and the "new man" is ready to shoot at anything any-thing that walks, crawls or flies. He will shoot at accompanying hunters, approaching hunters, or if nothing else- to shoot at, take pot shots at himself. It is a good thing that they are generally poor shots or our population would go down in leaps and bounds comes each pheasant season. I suppose the reason for the very short pheasant season is that if it lasted any longer there would be too many killed, maimed and crippled. They could open the sea- cr,n nr hlintprS and then let those Then comes the thousands of friends and relatives who drop in at pheasant season dragging innumerable in-numerable brats for us to tend, dirtying up the house, and then insisting in-sisting the we "come and see them sometime," when they know full well we won't because we am't on speaking terms before the hunt and are especially not on speaking terms after. If any birds are got they like Cousin Egghead take them. Medical science is striving to lengthen the life span of man and then a bunch of chuckleheads take to the fields during the pheasant season and destroy most of the work of science and make the medicos wonder if it is at all sensible sen-sible to try and save the human pen and does. Some disgruntled Democrats peppered our Republican Republi-can Mayor Black with bird shot. Not just once, but twice. Fred Gavin had his rear end shot out. (I mean the rear end on his pickup pick-up truck.) Numerous hunters are still carrying about particles of lead and shot that came their way when the 8,000 hunters invaded this area Saturday. From all accounts ac-counts there are 450 head of stock Hilled or missing from the fields. who were left carry on for a regular regu-lar pheasant hunt a ittle lateT, but there would be a lot of hunters hunt-ers kick .-because they had to buy another, license. A little poaching on each other is all in the- game and let the devil take the slow shooter. Then we have the case of Cousin Cou-sin Egghead, Aunt Dora's boy who is just two jumps ahead of the loony wagon. He lives over in Ad-dlepate Ad-dlepate Patch and hasn't had much fun since he got out of reform re-form school. So you take pity on the dope and invite him over for the pheasant season. He arrives showing a toothy grin and is accompanied ac-companied by seven other ilk of the same nature, and two dogs. The dogs are fugitives from a hot dog, and their sole interest in pheasant hunting is to race each other to see how far ahead of the hunters they can flush the birds. This leads to short tempers with the dogs soon getting a load of shot in the part they sit on while not chasing pheasants out wild, and to naughty words being bandied band-ied about by hunters and hunted. At the close of the day we find the hunting party dragging its weary way home and but a couple or three - birds to show for their efforts. Cousin Egghead takes the birds because he had so far to drive, and says he "you can get them any time of the year, and race when they are so intent upon doing the opposite. Eleanor Roberts had a couple of women come to her house saying they had left the car for a little walk and were then lost. Questions Quest-ions seemed of little avail as all the women knew was that they had been walking and had come to a creek. The only creek Eleanor could think of was Oak Crekk which didn't seem possible and then she wondered if they mean't our mighty Sevier river and were belittling it by calling it a creek. It was sometime before the women wom-en were restored to their husbands some miles away with the husbands hus-bands rather irked at seeing them because they had probably taken them on the hunt to lose them in the first place. There are a few things that shoud be done when the season rolls around again. First all hunters hunt-ers should carry adequate insurance insur-ance that is in good standing; second, se-cond, give the hunter an intelligence intelli-gence test of ten questions, if he can answer 1 he is a typical hunt-, er and can go to the fields; third, have each hunter carry dog tags in case he or some other hunter perforates him; fourth, then let the hunter hunt the fields and the farmers hunt the hunters. It would even things up all around and make even more sport than the men have anyway. Also in case we are ever threatened threat-ened with war from some foreign nation we need never go to the expense of armament. All we would need to do would be to ship them a bunch of pheasant, explain the bare rules of the game, and let them eliminate themselves. The Chinese started this pheasant pheas-ant hunting thousands of years ago and they are still fighting among themselves. But these ideas, are all about as worthless and will receive a-bout a-bout as much attention as a "No Trespassing" sign. Toots. . |