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Show L'Mr iSr(?lJiKaJser 'William, - There'sotuiuch for"ine to tell, For the .Yanks will make' it hotter Than I can for you in, hell. . "I've been a mean old IDevll . But not half aa mean aa you. And the minute that you get here I will give, my Job to you. "I'll be ready for your coming, ' , And I'll keep the fires all bright -And I'll have your room all ready ' When the Yanka begin to fight. . "For the boys in blue will get jrou, I have nothing more to tell. Hang up the phone and get your hat, And meet me here in hell." THE KAISER'S TALK TO HELL " 1 1 1 " . By W, E. Curry , The Kaiser called the Devil up On the telephone one day; The girl at Central listened to All they had to say. "Hello," she heard the Kaiser's voice, ; "Is old man Satan home? Just tell him It is Kaiser Bill, That wants him on the phone." The Devil said, Hello" to Bill, And Bill said: "How are you? I'm running here a hell on earth, Ort tall tyiu what in tin'' Ul Vtl " " 'jWhat can I do?" the Devil said, "iMy dear old Kaiser Bill, If there's a thing that H can do To help you, 1 sure will." The Kaiser said: "Now listen, (And I will try to tell The way that I am running On earth a modern hell. 'Tve saved for this for nwww years, '(And I've started Qui V WU. That it will he a. modern Jon, , You ieY fc 'Kaiser ill. . "My army went through Belgium, Shooting women and children down We tore up ftll her eountry I And blew up all her towns, 'Wy Zepps dropped bombs on cities, Killing boCh old and young, 4 And those the Zeppelins didn't get Were taken out and hung. "I started out for iParis With the aid of poisonous gas; The Belgians, darn 'em! stopped us And would not let us pass. "My submarines are devils ' Why you should see them fight! They go sneaking through the sea And sink a ship at sight. "I was running things to suit me, Till a year or so ago, When a man called Woodrow (Wilson Wrote me to go jpore slow. '1He said to me: Dear (William, We don't want to make you sore, So be sure to tell your U-boats To sink our ships no more. . "We have told you for the last tlm, 80, dear Bill, it's up to you, And, if you don't stop it, . You have got to fight us, too. "I did not listen to him, And he's coming after me, , With a million Yankee soldiers From their homes across the sea. "Now, that's why I called you, Satan, For I want advice from you; I knew you would tell me JuBt what I ourht to do." - - |