OCR Text |
Show HOW COLLEGES FLATTER MILLIONAIRES In tho September American Mnga-zlno Mnga-zlno Stephen Lehcock, who Is known as tho Canadian Mark Twain, contributes con-tributes another chapter of his Arcadian Arca-dian Adventures With tho Idle Rich. It Is a tako off on tho way colleges palaver millionaires In order to get, funds. Tho millionaire In Ills satire Is named Tomllnson and the university univer-sity is I'lutoria University, of which tho president Is Doctor Roomer, and tho principal professor, Doctor Rooster. Roos-ter. Doctors Roomer and Rooster nro in tho following passages taking, Tom llnson around I'lutoria University nnd showing him tho sights with tho hope of interesting him and obtaining n gift from him. Following Is an ox-tract: "Hero nnd thoro in tho hall, set into niches, wero bronze busts of men with Roman faces and baro necks, and tho edgo of a toga cast over each shoulder. "Who would theso bo? asked Tom-llnson, Tom-llnson, pointing at them. "Somo of tho chlof founders nnd benefactors of tho faculty, answered the president, nnd at this tho hope? of Tomllnson sank In his heart. For ho realized tho class of man one had to belong to In order to ho accepted as a university benefactor. "A splendid group of men, are they not? said tho president. Wo owe thorn much. This Is tho lato Mr. Hogworth, a mnn or singularity largo heart. Hero ho pointed to n bronzo flguro wearing a wreath of laurel and Inscribed (luliolmus Hogworth, Lilt. D. Ho hnil made a great fortuno In tho produco business nnd wishing to mark his grntltudo to tho community ho orectcd tho nnemometor, tho wind measure, on tho root of tho building, attaching to it no other condition than that his name should bo printed print-ed in tho weekly reports linmcdlhto ly bcsldo tho voloclty of tho wind. Tho figure bosldo him is tho into Mr, Undorbugg, who founded our lectures en tho Four Gospels on tho solo stipulation stip-ulation that hciirofortU any reforenco of ours to tho Four Conpcla should bo coupled with his nnmo. "What's that after hln namo? asked ask-ed Tomllnson. "I.ltt. D., said tho president, Due-tor Due-tor of Letters, our honorary degree. Wo nro always happy to graut It to our benefactors by a vote of tho faculty. fac-ulty. "Here Doctor Roomer nnd Doctor Rooster wheeled hnlf round and looked look-ed qulotly nnd stoudlly at tho Wizard of Finance. To both their minds it was perfectly plain that an honorablo bargain wbb being struck. "Yes', Mr. TotnlhiBon, said the president, as they emerged from the building, no doubt you begin to re nllzo our unhappy position. Money, money, money, ho repeated half musingly. If I had tho money, I'd, havo that whole building down and dismantled in a fatnlght." , |