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Show Ifnl A Hap Brawl Ifew'Sar Hi ' ha Dowgafl MaJloch. ssVlV l 'SKeHT "Tit V J 'ttwV" I BlBim;; g' ; Hv' " BH 1110 coming of New Year's H & ' ! Ul,y n,l,uru,,y suggests the H 4 ,i" S remarkable case of Bap H ti VHk Hnznrd. The mother ol K' v wPfa Hnpplzzez Hazard hat) H. 7, aimed to give htm a Bible K', I ' name out of the ordinary, and her aim H'l j w"8 certainly good. It was hard to H' aped, and hard to pronounce; and, H; i pronounced properly, It sounded very B; S much like a soda fountain clerk ruak- (.prr." "" Ingama. But the boys shortened this .P. unusual cognomen to "Hap." Hilf. The Hap Hazards were married on Haj (New Year's Day, Hap very happily H'flj w suggesting that that would be a good B'&'l " ' As Ne'w Year's Day again approach- Blff v ed, May's Aunt Adu, at whose house In HlK'' , Columbus the Hazards were married, PPKJI thought It would be n fine Idea to nsk PPEjK' the young couple back home to spend PPHK their wedding anniversary. Hap mid PPBwi' May delightfully accepted, nnd wrote PPpsy that they would lenre Hometown for PPHfH Columbus on tho 20th, It was now PPPJn tho 28th, and May decided It would bo PPKf well to Ih'kIu to puck, or nt least to PPBf decide wlmt she would wear nnd what PPPJI : she wounl tukc. It made her rather PPPV ii'oti(t of her foroluiiiileilnoss. PPH .. "And, Hup," sho wild, "you might go PPpft by the depot and get the tlcketH, nnd PPHa a couple of lowers, ami everything, so PPPJll wo shall be all rendy to start tomor-PPPJU tomor-PPPJU , row. That will ho eimy to do." PPBtK "Gosh I" exclaimed Hap, his plpo Jj ' falling 'from his mouth, "easy to do? PPPJI Bay, do you know I never thought PPKB: about thoso gol-durned. tickets?" He PPHh shoved both hands Into his pockets. PPPJm-' "How much do you supposo they will PPPBJ be? I don't bellevo I have enough PPPJut money. "I know we spent a lot for PPBBr Christmas." PPH Hap had $3.11. May had $8 sho had PPBfl left out of her last week's money, PPBB' There was $1.80 In the llttlo drawer of PPBfl the. kitchen aiblnot, and $12 In bills PPBH behind the picture of April Jones In PPBB- the sitting room. That made $22.01; PPPJt nnd Hnp knew he could draw a few PPBV dollars In advance down nt the shop PPPJ bo had done it before. no found It was too late to get low- ' ers, nnd they missed that train nny- .way, for tho Uino had been changed, and the train now went through hnlt an hour earlier when It was on tlmo nnd this time It was. He managed s to And an upper on tho slow train for PpnSJ' May, but he had to sit up In the smoker BK9 himself. PPjM Hap did not aleep very well. The PPJj'VJ ' train stopped and started and JerkeU PK'f . nnd bumped. It must have been near H V morning, after nn unusually heavy JoU, H.M that Hnp distinctly overheard a fellow- K. i passenger say; H (f ''Yep, It doesn't look much like we ' H would get '.nto Clumbus before Mew, l $ Year's nlht." , "Whf.'c's the matter?" he Inquired, PBjtg suddenly sitting up, "a wreck?" PPJ? I "Nope," said the passenger, a fat PPJ (f t man across the alslo Hap had observed PH g before he fell off to slumber. "Nope, "We're Going to Run on. Schedule Af- ter This." ;i'j It nln't n wreck. On this gosh-dlngcd PHf!! road they can't never have a wreck." PKH "Why not? Is It so safe?" PPJI "No, It ain't so safe. But they PHI couldn't have a collision becuuse all PPSM the trains run east oue day and west PPHI the next." PBHR "That's funny. What If you want to PHp get' to Columbus on Wednesday?" PHt' "Then you have to go oust to Pitts- PHy burgh on Tuesday and como west to BHt Columbus the next day." PH ' Hnp tried hard to figure this out, PH but finally gave It up as u little deep. PBV "But," he said, "they could have u PBB rear-end collision, unyway." . . .,,, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB?SBBBBBBB?raPfBSlcK!T '".? ' . .. -japppBhjaBMBSIiiBMiii,fc':Mfcjaii "No," said tho strnngcr, "they I couldn't nuthcr. Y'see," he explained, I "every trnln on this roud runs so much I slower than every other train, that I no trnln can ever overtake any other," I Then, If there Isn't any wreck," I asked Hap, "what's the troublo?" j "Well, to' begin with," replied the stranger, "the fireman Is to blame. When wir started out he didn't figure on how much coal he was likely to need. Consequence was, we run out of coal right in the middle of the night." "What did we do?" "We stopped and got some from. a farmer. He was madder than the dickens, too." "But why didn't the engineer see' to It that the fireman had enough coal?" "The engineer hadn't ought to say anything, He didn't have enough wa- "He's Looking at YOU, Aunt Ada," Said May. ter. It was. a wonder he didn't havo a blowup. He was Just running along, and never watching the water-guage, nnd getting water whenever he could, but not knowing very far ahead when ho could get tt." "Well, this must be a fine crew on this old milk train. But where was the conductor all this time?" "Why, the conductor didn't know we wns Into until a few minutes ago when I told him. You see, ha wasn't keeping any particular account of the time. Ii figured that we was on the right road nnd that sooner or later we would git there." "Some railroad," thought Hap to himself, and In a few moments fell off to aleep again. "He's looking at you, Aunt Ada," said May. "He's going to be all right," said the stranger. "He's coming out of It." "Oh, rin so glad," .exclaimed May; aud, to the stranger, "I can't thank you nnnorh tnr all vnnr kindness." "He must have hit the nrm of the sent when that Jolt threw him out," said the doctor. "But It Is nothing serious." se-rious." By this time Hap was wide awake, really awake. It took a little time to untangle his thoughts for him. "Everything's all right, old man," said the stranger. "You fell out of the seat you've got a bunjp on .your head and you were a little looney for awhile. But wo got you to your folks nil right. Well, I guess I'll be running along." But Aunt Ada Insisted that the stranger, who was a traveling salesman sales-man unable to get home for the holiday, holi-day, should spend New Year's Day with them Instead of at the hotel. Hap was so much better that he was able to take a Uttle walk that after noon. In a stationery store he stopped and bought a book. Tho next day was New Year's. That morning before they went downstairs Hop opened the package. "I've been thinking," he said to May, "that I wasn't so blamed looney, after all, when I got that bump on the head. Maybe I've got more sense that way than this .way." "Why, how you talk I Are you are you feeling bad again?" "No, but I've been thinking that we run our house und'our household expenses ex-penses about like they ran that railroad. rail-road. We aren't keeping any account of what we spend, and we have Just about enough coal nnd water to keep us going, without knowing where wo can get more. It's Just good luck that ' tins kept us from having a wreck. Now, here's nn account book, nnd we're going to run on schedule after this." |