Show N i I Cynical Notes Notes j 1 I I. I I Ars Ass longus est I 4 With the end of school only a week away awny pledges of or self admiration admiration admiration admira admira- tion society are eagerly awaiting the summer months that afford so much opportunity for the display of their newly acquired button Those who were not bit will either cither tell the folks back home that they dont don't believe In fraternities or else they will sit tight and pray that next year one of the coveted buttons will be bestowed upon them Whether er or not they will succeed in the social swirl next year will be largely large large- ly a matter of bf economics the same force which rules most of the modern modern mod mod- o ern world I If f the finances of the fraternities arc are not all what they should be some of or the new brothers broth broth- ers will not be all that the fraternity I would desire But then the organization organization organization organ organ- must avoid financial dis dis- aster But then why deride the fraternities fraternities fraternities frater frater- for Cor this Even churches are known to be more interested in saving saving saving sav sav- ing souls during the times when the preferred plate fails to meet the current needs 4 s s sOne One of or our observing students has noticed the following which we print with no comment On South state street across from Crom a cat and dog hospital there is a sausage factory factory factory fac fac- tory in the process of erection t For the acquiring of any easy nonchalance on the matters of family family family fam fam- ily relations we recommend Michael Arlen's Piracy III 4 4 4 Y RELATIVE VALUES News values increase with dis dis- tance At least a certain city newspaper newspaper news news- paper must think so for it printed a story of the appointment of the University Uni editors without the pictures pictures pictures pic pic- tures of the young lady and gentlemen gentle gentle- men and on the same day printed the picture of a young gentleman who was named editor of or the Stanford Stanford Stanford Stan Stan- ford daily paper Of course the young gentleman had two things in his favor Cavor he was not attending school in Salt Lake and he was a native of Beaver which is also not in Salt Lake r S MAJOR CYNIC Romanticism The Romanticism The belief that a girl kisses you only Realism The Realism The knowledge that a girl is not so discriminating Naturalism The Naturalism The aforesaid knowledge knowledge knowledge know- know ledge plus well what the hells hell's the difference M S WORK FOR FOrt A CENSOR Student publications are forbidden forbidden forbid forbid- den to accept tobacco advertise advertise- ments Yet in the student association association association tion book there is that awful reference reference reference refer refer- ence to the Utah men who wickedly inhale the black cheroot i ri 4 Distinctions The Distinctions The campus elite pet the not so elite neck and the low brows indulge in the practice practice practice tice of mugging S 4 AWAKENINGS Archibald one of the most credulous credulous credulous lous students we know has lost his faith in the of members of the faculty His coed date actually smoked a cigarette after they had finished their midnight repast in one of these immoral all night cafes S 4 t With her usual avoidance of the trite Elinor Glyn the flappers flapper's delight delight delight de de- de- de light wisely says that a woman either elevates or degrades a man Far be it for us to question the famous author of the insipid How to Love and the would be risque Three Weeks but we believe that in either case the influence is for forthe forthe forthe the worst worst especially especially in the first instance S M We stand ready to believe in miracles miracles miracles mir mir- acles when the Union building is built the ducking tub and the freshman freshman fresh fresh- man cap are restored the student court punishes U day violators and when smoking is again made legal on the campus i iThe The Minor Cynic will determine a much mooted question today Is the Major Cynic actually cynically He witnessed an tin this morning at sunrise Truly a test for real cynicism |