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Show LOVE LORN SIM" LOSES JB ONE Maldtn Swms to Have Given Him Thejitten SOME FORCEFUL ADJECTIVES YOUNQ MAN IS EVIDENTLY IN A -PERTURBED FRAME OF MIND. Tho following communications have found their way accidentally Into this office. Wo rather bellovo that the person who is responsible -for them being, hero, found them on the street. Wo do f not, however, profess to bo positivo about tho matter. Tho owner own-er "Pudge" seems, tobo In difficulties over a "squelching" from one of tho fair beauties of tho City ot the Saints. Poor boy! Wo recommend ono of our Logan girls to his consideration. considera-tion. They aro moro' "constant wo know maybol "Salt Lake, July -13th, 1911. ' ."Dear Pudge; ' v f . f "Well Pudge Isuppose you have heard the 'scandal by this tlmo? It's truol and I'm just writing you a farewell note. I wish you tho best ot good luck In all your undertakings, and I want to ask ono last small favor fa-vor of you. PleaBO (oh, pretty, pretty please, sugar and all heavy sugar coating) Please return ALL my letters and I'll do.hu same for you.. I havo all of your letters and also the cards. It you aro EVER in tho city- WE (heavy on tho "WE") would like to havo you call on US (heavy onco moro on "US".) Bring some young lady friend with you and we'll have a very (very l 1 17) pleasant evening ev-ening at home. WE live at Street, As EVER, Ed Note. The Interpolations In parenthesis par-enthesis as also the underltntngs must be the work of tho Jilted one addressed ad-dressed as "Pudge," for they appear between the lines of the text and In different color ink. The following is evidently his agonized ag-onized rlply: Logan, tho Diy Town Utah. Stato of Utah of Course. Somewhere under the Sun, July 14th, 1911. "To tho Right Worthy, "Stoamflttlng, Heating and Plumbing Plumb-ing Expert (mostly Bteamtng and heating heat-ing I He's a great hot air merchant, you know). "At Salt Lake, "Greetings and all best wishes; "Most honored Sir "I hereby address myself my-self thusly to thee for tho express pur-pose pur-pose of ascertaining somewhat of truth oxact truth 1 Thoro Is truth and truth, you know. Part truth; moro than truth, truth slightly variegated, somewhat varied, partly altered, neat ly changed, cleverly diversified; None of that for me! What I wanMIs tho truth, tho whole truth, und nothing hut the truth. Cot mo? Just plain, common garden variety of old-fashioned truth nix all modorn embellishments embel-lishments sool Consider yourself bonorod above tho common lot ot man when I como thusly to. you and under such circumstances , "This morning I was tho humblo recipient re-cipient of a letter no a noto. Its can-touts can-touts wero Buch that my nerves have not even ad yet quietened I I doubt if my pulse will over rcsumo Its normal nor-mal beqt. (I tear). I must nub-oat and . d.-at'lnued on Pae U -1 i LOVE LORN SWAIN , LOSES LOVEO ONE Continued from Page 1. have a cocoa-cola before 1 even 'finish 'fin-ish this). The note was fiom well' whom do you really think it was! fiom? I give you three guesses. Oh, Lordy! You'll never get It at that rate. No I wrong again! I'm afraid you'll never guess so I'm for- telling you. It was from . Fact! Absolute Abso-lute fact! It said In part, 'I suppose you'o heard the scandal? It's true and I'm Just writing you a farewell note." I ! ! It didn't say 'what I i the "scandal" was, and I haven't heard, nor did it, mention why it should be "a farewell note." I was requested, however, to return 'ALL' her letters, and so I guess what the scandal really Is. I'm Informed that she Is 'at home at Street, and IF EVER I am In the city Ihnve a standing (I suppose it'll be "stand-1 Ing" If I accept) a standing 'lnvltA-, tlon to call Rome evening, provided 1 1 bring u lady friend and we'll have 'a very pleasant evening at home' i very pleasant Indeed! i "Who Is tho unlucky 'cuss' that she has 'dumned' for life and possibly part of eternity, nt least. Pray, tell me! When did it all happen and how? Do let me know! I'm burning up with ahx-,loty. ahx-,loty. The fire of restless unsatisfied curiosity consumes me quite! "Really 1 should like to know tho exact details and facts of tho af- i fair and will trust to you to get them for me. Even If you have to disguise yourself as an 6r and go "trapesing" up to No. to find out first hand. I need tho facts nnd nothing but the facts, nnd need them bad for reasons best known to my little self! Please, pretty pleaso, enlighten rue! Logan Is so far removed, from the center of things that most Important events such us this are entirely unheralded un-heralded here. "Humor me this once, do! "Yours until nnother fnvor craved, and then yours again, only, 'PUDQE." N. U. Poor Pudge! He hns oldont-ly oldont-ly been hard hit und from the tone of his letters. Ho seems to be mad all over not In spots. He muy huvo his letters by calling In person nt this office." |