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Show The empty coal hod makes the whole world kin. A New York man was killed by the scratch of a kitten. Don't fool with the cat. Andrew Carnegie is in New York. Now, Mr. Frick, get ready for the semi-wind-up. Observe the promotion of Wu Ting-fang Ting-fang and never make fun of the man "who asks questions. May Yohe and "Putty" Strong reached home in time to flavor up the holiday season. If the fool-killer ever arrives for business the life insurance companies will go broke in a day. Oil has been discovered in Africa. That continent may now prepare to get itself connected with us by pipe line. A mile a minute is pretty fast, but some of the flying machine inventors have beaten even that on the way, down. In Oom Paul Kruger's oath of allegiance alle-giance to Great, Britain there may be interpolated a few Africander swear words. New ways of prolonging life are discovered and announced almost every day, but Death hasn't found it out yet. A distinguished German physician "has discovered that there are 10,000 microbes in one pound of dried fruit " Is that all? When a woman has had nine chil dren she begins to have suspicions about some of the beautiful passages in love stories. A Western paper grumbles over "the shortage of women in the far West." Well, is there a superfluity of them anywhere? It never seems to bother Mr. Gates when he loses a million or so. Perhaps Per-haps he would fret more if he had earned the money. ---T " Freshmen, who -w-ore. eoiug to fight a duel have decided to settle their affair by arbitration. Perhaps they think that will be more dangerous. danger-ous. The Indianapolis ghouls are hardly In it with the Massachusetts undertaker under-taker who buried a man without a coffin, and tnen charged the widow for one. The next Vanderbilt wedding will take place during the coming winter the exact date to be announced as soon as Mrs. Nation shall have left the country. Save what you can spare of your income, in-come, instead of spending it foolishly and some day when other people are eating prunes you may be in a position to eat strawberries. ' DnJ i, thS Sl"tan fMocco has nailed the heads of twenty rebellious subjects to the gates of Fez it is probable that all his surviving sub-'jects sub-'jects love him very much. A man has defined happiness as being be-ing known by everybody and knowing everjbedy, and being invited everywhere every-where and going nowhere. But he never found a woman to agree with I President ITill says Noah formed the fh-t ti-UBt' bat'he failS to menti M n Ut',ent naviatoi"s "MP combine com-bine finally rested on a rock where it could be oi no use as a means of transport. John L. Sullivan has passed through toe bankruptcy court and is now at liberty to express his opinion of creditors cred-itors in a sty.e that is more remark-able remark-able for us originality and force than lor its purity. -nlth?!- a"rnls7has made With the b.owpipe artificial rubies that are said to be equal to the real article, ar-ticle, the e::FIession "more precious than rubi?s will lose something of Its old-tin:e foice. . Lewis Nixon believes in giving his men more wa2es and shorter hours instead in-stead of !i' :a, ies, etc. Such a policy. If genera'!;, followed, would enable Workmen to furnish their own librar-!es, librar-!es, and a f;-,v ether things. As k.i-.g as women novelists are Privileged to wear ball gowns when rney nave their pictures taken for reprodua-n by lre ha!f.tone What cn-nce cf winning public atten-Hon atten-Hon has tr.e mere man novelist? |