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Show THE TIME TO LAUGH. SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL AND SELECTED. The Birth of a New Joke The Realistic School A Common Mania Not Exactly Ex-actly What She Wanted rerlls of the Language. B1BTII OF A NEW JOKE. .From the Boston Journal: No policeman po-liceman was in sight, of course. That was because' he" was' wanted. "Hit him,- Muggsy!" "Soak him, Swipes!" , "Now youse got him!" "Put it on ther smeller!" These and many ether edifying ejac- ulat'.ons were n:::'?u ai iu onto., bootblacks ' wlio ' Wjre earnestly engaged en-gaged in spoiling each other's faces with their fHts, while a big crowd stood in a circle about them, in front of the post.ifnre. It was going u,.i!:y for the larger o: the two boys wi'fii a member of the Boston Pe-.u-e Snrt-ty, or one of its branches, stepped in and separated th? boys. For a wostlf-r both seemed willing will-ing to s op. The peacemaker said: "Well, what are y.:u fighting about?" Then an amusing explanation followed fol-lowed and a new idiotic joke was started on its jcn.ney through the town, for every man and boy in the crowd that heard the explanation started of to "sprin;;" the joke on the first acquaintanca he should meet, and nnoeihw- n ho a i n-tvinnnt in another fistic engagement The boy said: "This bloke com; s up ter me and sez, 'Say, wh.-t's ther next to ther last letter in ther alphybet?' "'Y,' sez I. " 'Cos I wants to know,' sez he, and he laughs and swipes me on ther back, en ther others they all laugh too. I don't see no joke in it, so I hits him on ther peeper. Do youse see " He stopped short; a grin spread all over his dirty and bruised face. He looked sheepish and then laughed outright out-right ' "Hully gee, I see it now. You're all right, Muggsy. Shake! . Why, Y, sure. Its a good one, and I'll spring it on me brudder." They shook hands and went off together. to-gether. The crowd laughed and each one hastened to spread the plague a new joke. THE REALISTIC SCHOOL. . From Leslie's Weekly: Vivian's residence is much in the way of book agents, itinera!!', .tea and coffee merchants, mer-chants, enlarged-photograph artists and improved-silver-polish philanthropists. philanthro-pists. Every historian is influenced to a greater or less extent by his personal surroundings and the things of his own times. For example: Vivian was reciting in exceedingly new words the old, old story of Peter's release by an angel from prison. All had gone well and glibly up to the point where Peter had found his way to the house of a friend. "Very well. What did he do then?" Inquired the listener. "He he rapped at the door." "That's right What next?" There followed a somewhat lengthy pause. Then an inspiration came to the triumphant young historian. "Why, I guess he asked 'if the lady of the house was In.' " MAKING IT CLEAR. Farmer Hayrix (in department store) "I wunder what them thar gals air allers yellin' cash fer?" Mrs. Hayrix "I reckon mebby It's tew let folks know they don't trust nobody." WOT EXACTLY WHAT 8HE WANTED. From the London Tit-Bits: A teacher teach-er was instructing a class of infants in the Sunday school and was letting the children finish her sentences to make sure they understood. "The idol had eyes," she said, "but it couldn't " "See," cried the children. "It had ears, but It couldn't " "Hear," said the class. "It had lips, but. it couldn't " "Speak," said the children. "It had a nose, but it couldn't " "Wipe It!" shouted the little ones, and the teacher had to pause in her lesson in order to recover her composure. |