Show BROADWAY AND MAIN STREET art Is long but life Is short full of lumps and black eyes by BILLY ROSE if you can come quick my aunt frieda said over the phone come quick your uncle charlie is in trouble half an hour later I 1 was in the flat on the lower east side where frieda has been keeping house and hearth for my uncle for the past 30 years up upa I 1 asked charlie Is hiding in brooklyn with his brother said frieda hiding from what from herman mp the butcher who Is telling how he Is going to knock out your uncles eye what did charlie do to mp what he doll do said frieda but better I 1 should tell it to you in sequins so happens last summer your uncle and me we are one afternoon taking the air on delancey street on t the h e sidewalk like always I 1 is s a all I 1 kinds chalk marks and scratch ups 3 from children which your uncle has been seeing all his life billy rose rosa la Is v very e r y touching says charlie Is here on the sidewalks the soul of the east side trying for some kind expression some day should be a real to draw u up the neighborhood WELL LIKE YOU KNOW with charlie to think is to do something crazy the next night he Is going to the settlement house and joining a art class and in the room is sitting a fat girl in a kimona on a platform and the scholars are holding out their thumbs and squinting with the eyes draw exactly what you see says the teacher half hour later when the tha teacher comes for a to look see what your uncle has done he begins making noises like busting on charlies drawing board Is a picture of a thumbnail sitting on top a big pencil this is a class its in drawing not nos manicuring says the teacher take your business someplace else when charlie comes home mad I 1 tell him let sleeping dogs stay sleeping but you know your undo uncle next day he is going uptoN uptown vIl to the museum from modern art and when he gets back ho he is all agog gle 11 Fri frieda edar he be says 0 to o be is a a man dont need perspective spec tive what he be needs is guitars A 4 picture can be a 4 piece fritzl or it a chair with one leg makes no dille difference rence so long as its in the corner is a guitar 1 so for the next week ho he Is painting guitars moon over stanton street with guitars baby on pushcart with guitars and even a picture guitar with guitars 0 THEN A FEW WEEKS later as the crow flies is opening in the tha metropolitan for 50 cents a show from a frenchman van guck glick van Gold goldberg bergt something van gogh I 1 suggested the difference so long as youre healthy said aunt frieda when charlie Is coming from the museum he Is saying today I 1 find out something absolutely hair racing this van cook is all his life selling one picture for few measly dollars but now when hes dead and cant eat cat his paintings Is worth 30 million no wonder he I 1 Is s cutting oft off his ear and they got to drag him to a asylum your uncle mills and mulls aulls for afew a few days and then he Is making a decision frieda he says it pay a man should be like this van cook supposing I 1 sell maybe one picture for live five dollars during my lifetime entire and then when im dead and gone the pictures Is worth 30 million by the time I 1 am dead and gone you will be likewise dead and gone so who gets tho the 30 million my brother why should that loafer get my 30 million let him go out and make maka disown 30 million F from rom now on I 1 am sm strictly a old stylish realist and making pictures with cash value like grandma moses which I 1 am signing grandma next day charlie it going to see our butcher im going to paint a munel on om your wall hf be says a whole panorama fano ranu all kinds succulent meats will bt be good for the cash register mp says what I 1 got to lose and so charlie paints him a mu murbel riel which he calls byname the spirit of meat when itla finished mp is saying when he sees your uncle ho he knocks out his eye was it that bad basked I 1 asked A man could go bankrupt from such a picture said my aunt frieda in hermans strictly kosher store your uncle is painting on the wall nice cuts Rinder brust chuck steaks first class plucked chickens but in the middle Is the spirit of meat holding a 15 pound you should excuse the e expression F virgin virginia ham bam |