Show t q r. r THE EDUCATION OF ETHELBERT Ethelbert we are going to a football football football foot foot- ball game What is a football game A football game Ethelbert is a kind of wild game which you shoot with a camera and roast in the papers news-papers the next day It is where they play ball with their feet Do they catch the ball with their feet No Ethelbert they catch the feet Where Ethelbert sometimes they never know What is that big red fence for That Ethelbert is the dividing line between a dollar in your pocket pock pock- et and a dollar in the gate keepers keeper's pocket Let us go in Ethelbert we have comps camps Hurry child the game has commenced commenced commenced com com- watch yourself that you dont don't go to sleep What makes those fellows fall down so Ethelbert when there are twenty- twenty one men on top of you you cant can't t fall up Look at them running two ways Yes Ethelbert and the quarterback quarterback quarterback quarter quarter- back has most of them going south What is the quarterback You see that little fellow at the back with his nose up in the air That is Chames the only quarterback quarterback quarterback quarter quarter- back on this on-this this team I cant can't tell what they are doing Nobody can Ethelbert especially especial especial- ly the referee It takes more time timeto f to get the referee straightened out than it does to raise a year two-year-old calf rp What does he have to be straightened straightened straightened straight straight- ened out for j i iSo So that he can get mixed again What are all those lines on the ground for Those lines Ethelbert are for the purpose of argumentation If they were not there they wouldn't need any officials Officials what do you mean The officials Ethelbert are pneumatic pneumatic pneumatic matic for players spectators and newspaper men They are has-beens has who never were They know as much about football as the captain can tell them on the side They are mostly from Missouri Missouri Missouri Mis Mis- Ethelbert Arent Aren't there any in Utah Ethelbert no they come from Ogden Child get down on your knees Why Do you feel the earth tremble Why Robbins the centre is passing by Is he Famous Yes Ethelbert as Sam Levys Levy's What did he do Ethelbert he quit the team What is that boy running with a bucket for He is gathering up wasted ener ener- gy It is always in their road Are those close line poles at each end Yes Ethelbert they hang their hopes on them And do they ever get dry Ethelbert they dry up and blow away See everybody is yelling What is going to happen They think Ethelbert that we have made a touchdown but the referee will take it back It isn't in the rules for us to to make to make a touch touch- down What do you mean by a touchdown touchdown touchdown touch touch- down Ethelbert I mean a streak of bad luck for the other side |