Show l Kern nl Court fit t the JUDGE OF or COURT His Highness the Lord ord Mayor and Great High Priest Adam Augustus Alexander 9 translated into English means simply the janitor PROSECUTING ATTORNEY Jr ARRESTS MADE LAST WEEK 1 The President 2 The High School SchoolGirl SchoolGirl SchoolGirl Girl Graduates 3 The Fresh Freshmen men FIRST CULPRIT President J. J T. T Kingsbury arrested for having baving told the students at a recent mass meeting that the cloak room was a place where the students could leave their shoes shoes- thus giving out the impression that Varsity students sometimes spent their leisure moments going barefoot in the puddles mud-puddles an and ditches round about Found guilty Sentenced to use of the fund for Chronicle subscriptions subscriptions' to be sent to the libraries and reading rooms all allover allover allover over the State as advertising for the U. U of U. U SECOND OFFENDERS The High School Schoolgirls girls now attending the Uni charged with wit being so pretty fascinating fascinating fascinating ing and clever as to disturb the mental equilibrium of the sterner half balf of the student population Found guilty of being prettier than the charge made The sentence in such a case as laid down in the statutes wa was for each to subscribe to the Chronicle But it would have broken Judge Judg-e heart and driven him to childhood weeping weep weep- ing to ing-to to have passed sentence passed sen sentence tence upon the beautiful array So feeling that they L it I WO ii w would uld surely all sub subscribe cribe anyway suspended sentence THIRD CULPRITS The freshmen charged with charged with reading the Chronicle l la a grade of literature much beyond their years Found guilty of trying trying- J j to read the classics Sentence suspended suspended suspended sus sus- out of mercy from the court Recommendation made that they confine confine confine con con- fine themselves to Millie Malys Maly's Malted Milk and Stepping Stones to Litera Litera- i ture Also advised all to subscribe to 1 the Chronicle and have ma mama a or papa pap 1 l read it aloud to them at home J 1 Court adjourned for one week a 1 i F FF F |