Show HOME HAPPENINGS r k What a strange incident Groo out t x of a Savage action action action-a a cuff was lost What is worse than an examination l y Answer Two examinations Prof What are tears mainly composed composed composed com com- posed of r Student Of grief Miss Bee Hyde is detained at her home with the the mumps We extend f our our sympathies Mr McKay reading last CHRONICLE r t I I wish I was bent over a little more at atthe atthe the bottom Does Prof Whiting want us to cease eating meat so that he will have a larger supply to torture the souls of his classes with I i A young lady in the Reading class r comin coming to th this s phrase in the Merchant r of Venice To To Tubal and to Chus ti reads it To Tubal and to Cuss fi Lost Strayed or Stolen A maiden name somewhere above r F the roof or below the basement of the west building No reward is offered as its owner now has a one We asked Driggs the other day to tell tellus us a few of his ideas He said he didn't didn't didn't did did- nt have time to tell us many but assured assured ast as as- t us his head is so brilliant that he I. I might spare us a few later on His j brightness is externally evid evident nt tt 1 M Miss ISS B B D Dont ont you t think h. h In k I If form forma formY orm Y f 1 a striking resemblance to Rebecca at att atthe t the well tt Miss R R Oh I dont don't know her Does she go to school gym ll f 2 A very important part of the work required in Geology II consisting of addresses by the students upon assigned topics has now been begun The students students students stu stu- dents are allowed three mo months in which to make preparations for their lecture r Why does Miss M M M-B.- B always wait for car no 27 Who is it that between the hours of often often often ten and eleven gets Mr s S-s S s Latin lesson Our lady local reporter must be an extremely bad girl to judge from the numerous calls she makes at the Presidents President's office Last week Professor Whiting was suffering from froma a a very severe cold In fact for several days it was only with the greatest exertion that he was able to meet his classes Prof Whiteley made a very pleasant trip to Taylorsville on Sunday afternoon and lectured in the evening to a large and enthusiastic audience Subject Intellectual and Spiritual Culture The State Board of Education is now holding very frequent sessions As the President of the University is an ex- ex officio member he is often obliged to tobe tobe tobe be absent from school to attend Winter seems to be very spasmodic this year We have had a few days of good sleigh sleighing mg The chances are that a week hence we will be trudging to school in dust a foot deep Oh r If it could only be gold dust 1 A very amusing communication was received last week by the Secretary of the University It was addressed to the Board of Reason But this was not all all after after the word R Reason ason was placed placeda a very insinuating question mark as though the young lady who wrote it rather doubted the reasoning power of the board Though the season seaon is scarcely appropriate appropriate appropriate yet we notice many decided and signs of spring fever among the students especially those who partake of of Freshman Mathematics We mention no names our personal safety standing forth in peculiar regard above all other desires in life Miss Mamie Kelly wishes to announce announce an an- r that anyone desiring to learn the art of osculation may do so by calli calling calling call call- i ing upon her during office hours t r t from 8 to 1 10 0 p. p pm p.m. m. m Young Gentleman Miss S S wear a high collar collar collar- f Second Young Gentleman Yes I should think she would have to climb I up a telephone-pole telephone to see over the top top of it r r It is evidently a question either of i or cure of the toothache remarked a a. a young lady as Mr Coray I appeared at the top of the stairs with a x l huge comforter tied down over his head under the hat r E Prof Whiting How many of you F know know know-He He is suddenly interrupted by bya a person wishing to ask a question question- i Mr Pritchard Then as a sm smile ile goes around the room he hastily adds Now if this goes in in the CHRONICLE Ill I'll not let one of you pass out of Zoology y That article which appeared in the CHRONICLE not long since ab about mt Mr Lewis' Lewis translating the French phrase sa main as squeezing her hand evidently had a very great effect for the other day he went to the theother theother theother other extreme and translated pressant sa main as taking her hand A certain scientist-musician scientist of our school has discovered that City Creek water possesses some peculiar property by virtue of which it burns with a brilliant brilliant brilliant bril bril- light Owing to the present price of petroleum this discovery will no doubt prove of great value to the downtrodden downtrodden downtrodden down down- trodden masses Furthermore let us all bow down to our great discoverer NOTE Only NOTE Only those belonging to the Analytical Chemistry Class can appreciate ate this Others need not read it A certain g gentleman will certify that he saw a young lady and gentleman sit n the assembly room the other day for three hours talking to each other The The boy was facing the desk but the girl who sat in front of him was turned clear around in her seat during the whole time There is a significant sign in the library just above the librarians librarian's desk It informs all that the furnishings of the librarians librarian's department are not This is not inappropriate as the borrowing of ink rulers paper etc from the librarian has become so exten extensive extensive ex ex- ten ive that a nuisance was on the point of being established Two of our young gentlemen last Friday Friday Friday Fri Fri- day attempted to drive all CHRON CHRONICLE CLE editors and assistants out of the office by throwing snowballs through the window window window win win- dow but when one of them received a furtive chunk of of CHRONICLE II paste in inthe inthe inthe the ear administered by the skilled hand of one of our circulating men men men- well he beat a hasty retreat Do not tackle CHRONICLE paste its it's too strong Many jolly parties of University students students students stu stu- dents took advantage of the excellent sleighing last week eek Among those who said good-bye good to studies and participated participated in a few hours was one party who went out on Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tues Tues- day evening The night was perfect the horses w were re rein in good spirits and everyone felt in a mood for having a good time At an early hour the party returned home Those who went were Misses Gertrude Reilly Flo Florence ence Dye Mabel Harker Margie Miller Lavon Peirce Claire and Winifred Whitehead S. S L. L Richards D. D E. E Haigh Walt Romney R. R McKinnon Walt Little Shady Stringer and Joe loe Moss T N The Societies President Talmage called all of the officers of U University ty societies to the reception room last Friday and spoke to them concerning societies and society work in the University His remarks c were very encouraging and those present present present pre pre- sent went away with a thankful feeling for the proposal of aid from the President in all kinds cf of society work Zeta Gamma Last Thursday evening the Zeta Gamma held a public meeting in Room 28 The room was crowded to its utmost utmost utmost ut ut- most capacity The program was begun with an in interesting interesting interesting in- in speech by Howard Driggs on Silent Forces Mr Hugh Dougall sang very satisfactorily satisfactorily satis satis- a baritone solo being accompanied accompanied accompanied by Prof J. J J. J McClellan Then came the event of the evening a lecture by the Hon Moses Thatcher his subJect subject subject sub sub- being The Antiquities of Mexico The gentleman's discourse was interestingly interestingly interestingly interest interest- arranged and was listened to with withY Y the greatest attention i ie e. e The Ladies Mandolin and Guitar Club f played two beautiful selections selection and the program was completed by a well rendered rendered rendered ren ren- dered recitation given by Miss J Jennie i c f Snow r A feature of th the evening was the souvenir program gotten up by the society society society so so- a very neat card printed in silver and crimson the lower half containing r the program and a delicate design of the Zeta Gamma pin This society is doing good work and andis andis is certainly deserving of much success Its new officers are President D D. O. O t McKay Vice-President Vice Geo Morris Secretary and Treasurer S. S L. L Richards Richards Richards Rich Rich- ards Corresponding Secretary A. A F. F Elgren i t PhiIP Phi IP s The Delta Phi while its membership is not large is nevertheless doing good work keeping always up to a high stanI stan stan- I dard With the promised increase of numbers the Delta Phi will have more room in which to show what it can do Its newly elected officers are President President President dent Chester Ames Vice-President Vice Shady Stringer Secretary and Treasurer B. B P. P Howell fi I hi The Normal At the regular meeting last Friday afternoon the following program was given Instrumental Selection Selection Selection-C. C. C M. M Ridges Fifteen minutes talk Effect of i Science on Religious Belief Belief Thos McKay j some borne o-me o Aspects of the Drama of Today To To- j day day Claire Claire Whitehead J The program was well rendered and 1 as u usual ual the attendance was large At the last election held by the Normal Normal Normal Nor Nor- mal Society the following officers were chosen President Miss Florence Dye Vice Vice President President Mr Langlois Secretary Mr Wallace Walace Treasurer Miss Claire 1 Whitehead 1 I W i iA A New Society Two years ago there was a society at atthe atthe the University exclusively for ladies During almost the entire length of its existence it was quite successful but at last died out from mere lack of interest This society it is now proposed i is to tobe tobe tobe be revived and w we know of no late news that has pleased us more A ladies society should be a permanent and strong feature of University life We have excellent talent for such and we sincerely trust that those who have proposed this movement will not let it drop but proceed immediately to organize organize organize organ organ- ize a society which will be a credit to our i institution 1 1 Answers to Correspondents N NOTE A NOTE A few hungry-eyed hungry individuals individuals individuals duals whose hearts are evidently being being being be be- ing very tightly entangled in Cupids Cupid's meshes have kindly asked me to answer a few Would you please tell me what a girl is to do with N Now ow that is a strange question to ask aska a person of my extensive Why I 1 suppose she should hould use them to warm her shins Dear friend What is love your friend Ichabod Crane anxious for an answer Well Ikey love is well well well- urn um-ah um ah a strange and perfectly indescribable indescribable indescribable inde inde- malady always contagious and prevalent during all seasons and in all climes I have never had this disease for when 1 I see a sufferer from its pangs looming up in the distance I avoid the immediate surround surround- i- i ings It is to be hoped dear Ikey that you are not afflicted with this dreadful disease What is a cure for lovesickness Truly yours yours yours-Brom Brom Bones Take a liberal quantity of strychnine and do it immediately What is the best way to give a young man the G. G B B A plan has been suggested to me as follows If you have a small brother hire him to place himself some dark in in such eve a position that upon your returning home he may be able to throw upon the intended victims victim's head a large quantity of cold water However the young man need not necessarily be dis dis- Stay out later than usual so that your father will become uneasy naturally he will stray out into the front yard Here is where your little brother does his work He throws the water on theold theold the theold old gentleman Just then you and your victim come into view and make for the house If your papa is like unto any of his kind he will out of purely revengeful motives pitch upon your young man and so completely demolish his personal appearance that he willever will willever willever ever after avoid your divine presence Of course it takes time and trouble to accomplish these things but you should be thankful to get rid of him and also thank your stars that 3 ou have found such an excellent plan without being obliged to pay me for the same which I usually charge for at the rate of so many dollars per word Silas Slipshod |