Show i 0 C a Er KO HITS AKU C Ough the mud Who wouldn't drill Legislature is in session A glee club has really been started Where in the world are my rubbers Dr Utter paid us a visit last Friday No drill and but one lecture a week What excellent sleighing we had last J week Chapel will be conducted by Prof Mathews next week Chas Marshall was confined to his bed with grip last week Ray Naylor was down last Thursday How How- happy Miss B B looked Miss Hunter and Miss Peacock old students were visitors Friday The board of Regents have submitted their report to the Legislature Miss Eva Knowlton was visiting with with 44 University friends last Thursday Thanks to the Salt Lake Litho Company Company Company Com Com- pany for their chromo of the Temple II Ohl Oh I dear Im I'm so full of commas and dashes that I cant can't eat my lunch I Miss Ella Chase was confined to her room two days Jays last week with the grip Miss Sadie Kimball was absent from school last week on account of ill health The attention of our readers is called to the advertisement of the Union Life Insurance Company in another column Now dont don't think our teachers use intoxicating drinks for the use of alcohol is necessary to make good draw draw- ings Governor West Theres no hurry about uniting the University and the College Miss Oh Im I'm just wild to go for a sleigh ride I think Lee might take us out in his bob The query is What will poor E Edo E s P do when he hears that Miss i is engaged to be married and ad that he is not in it conductor conduct conduct- Down yelled the street-car street or acting as referee as N Nelse else Naylor spread his six six- six feet of anatomy on the pavement A new name has lately been given to the pelvic girdle by one of the students He continually calls it the pelvic griddle The Utah Book and Stationery Company Company Company Com Com- pany can furnish you with all sorts sorts- of school and college supplies at lowest prices try them Poor girls Physical Culture has begun again Poor boys thus imprisoned with Physical Culture in the halls above and the doors locked below Miss L n L n Are secret societies good for societies at large Miss N 1 N 1 It all depends in whose society you are in secret dear Training teacher How do the Eskimo Eskimo Eskimo Es Es- kimo babies keep warm A Apt pt pupil They are cold-blooded cold and dont don't need to keep warm It seems as if our students would woul all turn out poets soon but if we get much more such as that that came to us this week our hair will turn out gray If X Y Z will call at this office we will try to pound the explanation of the joke in last weeks week's CHRONICLE into his head If he is only correcting our spelling spelling spelling spell spell- ing we would remind him of the old proverb People who live in glass glasshouses glasshouses glasshouses houses etc I f. f Frank Groesbeck appeared before before- us us' us one day last week in a complete outfit of furs It almost made you think you wore were in the land the theland land of the Eskimo to look at him Prof C C We do not know exactly exactly exactly ex ex- where the heavens are located Student under his breath Better ask Prof Kerr He deals a good deal Y with infinity Young lady in dressing room II Oh Oh dear my lips are so sore what can I do doto doto doto to cure them Sympathising friend Keep the chaps chap off 1 The Th e mem members b ers 0 of f a certain c class 1 ass were l f-l i amused the other day when the instructor tor opened the desk and produced a flask 44 of alcohol by means of which she illustrated illustrated illustrated illus illus- a difficult point Our society editor presented a sorry 1 spectacle last Thursday He says that her father came in unexpectedly and in his hurry to get down stairs he missed the stairs until he got to the bottom I I A number of our former students have f. f l returned to the U University ty since the beginning beginning be be- ginning of the new year Among them are are Mrs Alice Horne Home Literary 87 i Miss Olive and Mr Petter- Petter 1 son The Museum has t University lately been enriched by a large and acceptable i donation of fossils from Mrs Mary Alling Ailing Aber The collection contains more than a thousand fossils from the N New ew York state rocks and many fine fossil plants from Mazon Creek II Ill 1 and Scranton Pa Mrs Aber has also given several minerals to Prof Montgomery for the use of students in mineralogy A beautiful beautiful beautiful beau beau- crystal specimen of calamine as aswell aswell aswell well as and other minerals along with large and well-preserved well fossil sharks' sharks teeth have been presented to the Museum by Professor Aber Prof How would you punctuate the sentence Alice a beautiful girl is walking down Broadway I would make a dash after Alice If the looking-glass looking could only speak what stories it would tell on the girls We wonder how many times every day each young lady wends her way to that looking-glass looking to arrange those marvelous bangs Miss Minnie Minni Margetts has bas donated some cotton fruits to the Museum They show the cotton fibres ready to be 4 picked and were gathered at Hartsville Hartsville Hartsville Harts- Harts ville South Carolina by a brother of the they y young lady The second of the library course of lectures will be given by Judge H. H W. W Smith of Ogden subject The Legal Profession its past Achievements and present duty on Friday evening next A fine musical program is promised Mr M. M G. G Trejo a former mining student of of the University visited the mineralogical laboratory and the museum mus mu museum mus- mus eum on Friday January Mr Trejo r has as just jus returned from his mining claims In in Mexico where where he has been for the past five months i F Professor addressing French Class What two English words come from Billet f Class Billet It Professor What does it mean Mr Y Y Bills Y Bills due It We had an idea that Mr Y Y was up in the art but we have suddenly changed our if i- i f mind A young lady at the University thus describes her ideal young man He must be very tall have black hair brown browneyes browneyes browneyes eyes classic features and must be y very ry highly educated If there is any young fellow who can canfill cang g fill this description we will be glad to tor tot s. s r t introduce him No fee 1 If you would like to see some soine amusing sights at the University step into the first hall at 12 1230 30 In the north end you will see seven charming young ladies each with a lunch basket in her hand and all of them laughing and chatting at a great rate between bites Then after you have feasted your eyes upon them the girls not the baskets nor the bites go and laugh A society of young gentleman has been recently organized and holds daily sessions sessions sessions ses ses- in the armory at 12 1230 30 It is is designated as the Mendacity Club and the object is to furnish innocent amusement amusement amusement amuse amuse- ment to the members by discussing the hair hair- hair breadth bread th experiences of the heroes past and present of the wild and wooly West also by relating terrifying ghost stories the last being of adventures in which the respective members members members mem mem- bers have figured prominently The members are Earls Swan Hills and Sawyer and they expect soon to have a large following We wish the new society a long and career |