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Show THAT REMINDS 3IE. "What kind of a Christmas did you pass?" asked. the friend. "The same as usual," answered Mr. Bliggings, sourly. "Twenty minutes of turkey and mince pie and now six weeks of pepsin are before me." Grandpa I hate to see you cry, but you know I can't let you do just as you please. Miriam Oh, grandpa! I didn't think you could be so obstinate. 5 David You don't mean to say she rejected your proposal? Jonathan Hardly that; she was sort of non-committal, so to speak. She said when she felt like making a fool of herself she'd let me know. "Have you weighed anchor yet?" demanded de-manded the new commodore of the yacht club. J "Aye, aye, sir," answered the petty officer, touching his hat. "Then why," thundered the commo- dore, "don't you announce the weight?" j Village Swain Lovely moon, ain't there, Sally? Sally (revisiting her home) Nuthin' to what we 'as intown! j "Hi. Bill, look here! I weighs four pounds, more'n you!" 1 "Aw, y'r cheatin', Swinny. Youse got y'r han's in y'r pockets." Papa (the night before Christmas) What are you crying for, Jimmie? Jimmie Harry Fuller's legs are fatter fat-ter than mine. S Regey Backbay Miss de Mudd, are you at all interested in psychology? Miss de Mudd Oh, yes. very much indeed! But I know I should break my neck if I tried to ride one. "What supports the sun in the heavens?" heav-ens?" asked the country school teacher. "Why, its beams, of course," replied a precocious youngster. The Bore Haven't I met you somewhere some-where before? The Other Man If you have it was entirely unintentional on my part, I assure you. She had been shopping- and he was naturally disturbed. "I hope you didn't spend much money while you were down town today," he remarked. "Not a cent, except car fare, George, ' she answered, reassuringly. "1 had everything charged." - THE DOCTORS' SCRAWLS. Druggist But I advertised for a prescription pre-scription clerk. You say you've had no experience in the drug business. Applicant No. but I'm just the man for you. My specialty has been Egyptology, Egyptol-ogy, and I'm great at deciphering hieroglyphics. hiero-glyphics. NO SENILITY THERE. Rashley Talk about perpetual youth. I believe if a fellow only goes in for the pleasures of life; champagne, late suppers sup-pers and all that sort of thing he'll never grow old. Wiseman That's risht. He'll die first. NOT ON THE LINE. k REASSURING. Patient I seem to be a little better, doctor, but I'm still short of breath. Doctor My tretament, madam, will stotj that altogether. ?- HER USE FOR IT. "I want to get a camera." said young Mrs. Motherwell. "Yes. ma'am." said the clerk. "What I size, please?" "Why. the smallest, I guess," said she. dreamily. "I want one that's suitable to take the picture of a two-mouths-old baby." . Miss Mainchantz I suppose you've heard of my engagement to Mr. Jenks? Miss Ascott Yes. and I confess I was surprised. You told me once that you wouldn't marry him for a million dollars Miss Mainchantz I know. dear, but I discovered later that he had two millions. As an editor Horace Greeley had become be-come weary of the constant repetition of the word "the" in opening sentences. One issue of his paper in particular exasperated ex-asperated him. Almost every Item had its opening paragraph begin with "the." This lack of judgment on the part of hl3 writers in the choice of words received attention. Greeley wrote a note. This notice he requested to be posted in the editorial room and caused copies of it to be sent to correspondents. correspond-ents. The order read: "Under no circumstances must the word 'the be used in the opening or subsequent paragraphs of a news ar-I ar-I tide. In sentences within a paragraph lit will be tolerated if used with mod-deration. mod-deration. It you cannot write a para I graph without 'th- rr3 f One day shortly aft-r t? !t' '- i his new rule Greeley (.'t 1Ssl..":., torial room in a fUri- ";"rf'fl tn';- : "How is it that -.v'. K.,,r f today's paper regurdin"' m -r!',lh-n? , f titude toward th- ,,()ii. v f--', n ''ir''!' i-he i-he asked of his .-di'.,.. h' " a;, of the foreign nnv n;itl '-ha-? t This editor was av.:,r-. ,-, omitted an importar.r r,l..,.s. 'J';1 'n" at the time he c.-.r-,.-;. 'i V.1'. ''?;,.: tant. But he was r " '.-',? Un:r,W! -.. "Your rules and : '.'.'. I Mr. Greeley, an- th . , " '"s-'h-. . editor. ' " lSK'l;-: "Certainly:" hi-., scribbler. "Then tell me h..-. I . The Kwsue1 for th- - !-.'."-;2,,'f lsM . Holland dispatch .,,.'"''!, V tv your positive on!.;-. :'';rj Mr. Greeley was !..,, ... tered, "If you f -!; . . .. .'. . ' '; '-!;;. ment. there wo.l i ,,. , rules." A woman wiiii j.,-.-cf 4 years of as " rlaiiding in one :' . ' 1 ' ; tjD'is. "Can you t-l! .. - J, ' . " n .. train leaves : . "At. t-t-wenty m-::, i.-. f four." About i':w : '. again put the sa! ,, ....,,!"" ) same man, and h- . '. answer In the s i-:i - s ;:.;;.''. When she appro.ieh.-d 'J'C time with the sum- ti ' her: "W-why do -;,--. .,; ,,''..u;I:1j'1 s-s-so m-m-mar.y : -t--. -; i'.i., already t-t-tr.ld you (:-;. a" "I know you did." ; ... ,V ii an, "but my iitt!-- i-i.y v''" work your mouth." '" " 'l Owner of property i-e. ' t .-. . . reclining on a nns. -...Ui. 'n,,,'! you see that notic. 'Tr. s; .r ;v.. ; prosecuted'?" Tram:- i ', ". don't see it. for I ear : ;.;! u'-.v-.,' of Property: "Wei;. y,,,: i. , v ., is now, so go." Trai:;;. ' ! -x j-,' mister, but I don't v..,,; I've only got ver ha r- .'. , I it '.,ri you're a puffect strut:.;- ::,,..' y..'. what I know to the .-i.rttr.tr:.-. th time may be "New nnlk r;", 'Cherries tunpeiiee a :...n !. '-J. kim, weary wanderer.' T ::'; y.vj i.,y yer hands on m-?. mist-r. .r .-;1i! 1 'ave to see whether my k is r-allr r good old oak or only a s;irs;: i," '' I |