OCR Text |
Show Greatest Pest in Town. There are any number of pests in this world mosquitoes, peddlers and germ experts, but they are not to be compared With the man who insists on reading a paper while he crosses the street. Everybody knows the person. He does not always look the same. Sometimes Some-times he is a prosperous appearing man; sometimes the reverse. Sometimes Some-times he is alone and sometimes he has somebody with him. There is no doubt that he has everybody against him. He always crosses the street just at the busiest hours of the day. He is on his waji to lunch persaps. Perhaps he is going to his office. Perhaps he has a dozen important engagements on hand In his hand he holds the dally paper. He walks along the sidewalk swerving swerv-ing from side to side as Irate women and impatient men brush him by. He takes long, enjoying puffs of his cigar or pipe and minds the bumping not at all. He turns vague eyes to the traffic before him; turns a leaf of the paper and walks fearlessly- into the melee. He bumps suddenly into a woman carrying car-rying a baby. The baby howls and the woman says angrily: "Oh, for mercy's sake, why don't you look where you are going?" He tips his hat politely, but otherwise refuses to be disturbed. The account of the divorce proceeding he is reading is Just at its climax. Suddenly there comes a yell. "Look out there look out there! Who-o-a!" And a heavy moving van is drawn up just in time to save crushing crush-ing the intrepid individual with the paper. pa-per. This, however, does not even attract at-tract his attention and he walks on, followed by loud and uncomplimentary tributes from the driver. A whistle sounds. People without papers pa-pers stop to let w agons by. The man with the paper doesn't know that there are such things as wagons. Why "And Mrs. So and So deliberately tore the" . There is a yell and a frantic policeman grabs the pedestrian directly from in front of a cowcatcher. "What what?" says the man with the paper. "Why do you grab me like that? Don't you think I can take care of myself?" What the policeman says is better not printed. What he thinks could not be printed. The man with the paper walks on and reads all about the letter Mrs. So and So tore up. At last the street has been trossed. and. still reading, the person goes calmly calm-ly on his way. Up in heaven the recording re-cording angel writes his name: "Mr. So and So the man with the paper. pa-per. Held responsible for breaking of the following commandments on the part of persons who had no alternative: alterna-tive: "Thou shalt not swear. "Thou shalt not kill. A desire to kill is equal to the act itself. "Thou shalt' love thy neighbor as thyself." thy-self." Chicago Tribune. |