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Show The Man With the Cold. (By C. EU-Quincy in N. Y. American.) Coughing tonight, ust do something to cure it. Drank seven glasses of hot whisky before going to bed. That will fix it, all right. Still had cold when I awoke. Also a bad headache. Funny. Perhaps I didn't drink enough hot whisky. Made to put on a mustard plaster. Doesn't feel bad. Plaster ticklesome. Plaster somewhat uncomfortable. Scraping plaster off with carving knife. Very painful. Worse than shaving with a friend's razor. Coughed at critical moment and point of knife stuck into me. Believe I am killed. Doctor says "mere scratch." Fat lot he knows about it. Must have barely missed my heart. Anyway, that plaster plas-ter is off. Just as soon hug a red-hot stove. Told eucalyptus is good. Pleasant to take. Just put some on piece of sugar. Crunched sugar quickly and got sudden sud-den taste of the stuff. Ran around room spluttering. Broke valuable vase. Pleasant to take! Brown called me up on 'phone. Said he knew a sure cure remedy, and "it's pleasant to take" Hung up 'phone with a bang. Smith called up later. Said he knew the very thing for me his grandmother grand-mother had given him the recipe and says he. "It's pleasant" Dashed away from .the 'phone and left it hanging loose. Aunt called. When she head I had a cold, said I must go to bed and get warm. . Went to bed. Aunt piled eight heavy blankets on me, shut the windows win-dows and turned on the steam. In five minutes I was panting for breath. Steam was rising through the blan- v kets. Begged for mercy, but got no sympathy. "For your good," said aunt. Leaned out of window when aunt left. Uncle called. Heard me cough, and said, "Umm." Looked grieved. Then said, "Did you ever thing of living in a dry climate? Arizona, for instance?" Said no, little old New York was good enough for me. Uncle said "Umm" again. Then, "They say it prolongs life wonderfully, no matter how your lungs are affected." Told him he was an old fool and that there was nothing whatever the matter with me but a trifling cough. To show him, I went to work right away. j Boss docked me for three days. Cold completely gone. |