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Show j THAT REMINDS ME- j Railroad men were telling stories in the Grandon hotel at Helena the other day about silly questions put by women and the trouble they caused railroad officials. offi-cials. Patrick H. Scanlan of the Milwaukee Mil-waukee road was among the listeners. "I don't know just why," said Mr. Scanlan. "but the last story reminds me of an incident that happened, according to tradition, on the Northern Pacific. An old lady got on the train at Glendive on her way- to some town in the western part of the state. When the conductor came through for tickets the old lady-gave lady-gave up hers, and was immediately forgotten for-gotten by the "punch knight in the rush n f himinrxso Ths npvt timp ha smf around, the old lady asked him to please let her know when the train reached Billings. .He promised to do so. Several times as the conductor passed through the car the old lady repeated the request. re-quest. In due time the train reached Billings and the conductor, beinar busy forgot all about the old lady and her request. re-quest. When next he passed through the car the old lady quietly asked: 'Are we most to Billings?' "The conductor grabbed the signal cord and. although the train was several miles beyond the station, had it backed to Billings, thinking the old lady had made up her mind to get off there. When the train reached the station the conductor con-ductor politely Informed the old lady that I she was at Billings, and he would help I her off. With a 'smile the old lady remarked: re-marked: " 'Thank you; I don't want to get o.T. My daughter told me that when I got to Billings It would be time for me to take another doso of this medicine.' "What the conductor . said when he went into consultation with himself need not be repeated here." WORKED HIS CHIN. The following anecdote of Lincoln Jias perhaps never before been in print: "Speaking of gray hair puts me In mind of Bates Attorney General Bates, you know and of one of Lincoln's remarks. We were all going one day out from Washington to Tennallytown the president. presi-dent. Secretary Chase, Mr. Bates and myself to see Genen McClellan review the Pennsylvania reserves. Bates' hair, I noticed, had retained its original dark color in perfect freshness, while hl3 beard was almost as white aa mine is now. It was an exception to the usual law. and I asked Mr. Bates, after he had spoken of the peculiarity, if he knew any especial reason for It. He said he didn't, but the president exclaiml laughingly: 'Why, don't you know? It's because he uses his chin more than he does his head.' " BOTH WAYS. "Do you think that's the way for a Christian to talk that you'd like to skin me and hang my hide on your barn door?" "H'm! Didn't you say you regarded all Ihe miracles recorded In the Bible as being be-ing merely figurative?" "Certainly." "Well, why can't you consider what I said about you figuratively likewise?" HE MADE IT TWO-FORTY-EIGHT. . He (desperately) "I have proposed to vou fifteen times. This is the last. and. in the words of the auctioneer, 'Going at at $2! Going, going! Who'll make It two-fifty?" two-fifty?" She (involuntarily) "Oh. George! If you will make it 'two-forty-eight' 111 say-yes." say-yes." --s ONLY DEATH CAUGHT HIM. A north Georgia obituary notice is said to read as follows: "He left ten children and a wife When Death, the tyrant, sought him, Made moonshine liquor all his life, And the government never caught him!" MADE IN FRANCE. I "The isthmian canal question is a very-warm very-warm one now." satd Mr. Snaggs. "Yes. and I do hope that we shall buy the Panama," replied Mrs. Snaggs. "Why are you so interested in it?" "Oh. the very best styles come from Paris, you know." 4 |