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Show SPICE. Where Egotists Are Made "He li conceited, jou siy?' "lie couldn't be more so If ho weto the only in in at a seashoro hotel." Chicago Evening Tost. Then Ho Went. Horem (11.45 p. mi It Is the stnjlng qualities of 11 horso that count In a race" Miss Slashes "Aro jou In tinlnlng for n nice ot nny kind, Mr. Horem?' Chicago Dally New s. "If fine weather wo aro having," said tho cheery citizen lo a chiinco acquaintance. "Excuse me, hut I never talk shop," ho replied, "Eh? How's that?" "I'm a government forecaster." Judge. "A man can't tell whether n girl means what she sus," ho remarked thought fully. ' Of course not," she replied. "If ho thinks sho does, whj sho Just naturally doesn't tho moment he finds It out, nnd ir bo thinks b doesn t, why she does "Chicago Post reared tho Worst Her Mother (wisely) "There' Don't tako It In heart becnuse Ocorge Isn't nlwnj giving giv-ing jou Jewelry, like .Mi Hkceslcks dnei bis wife. Perhaps Mi. bkeeslcks Is juompttd bv 11 guilty conscleneo." Mis. Voungthlng (miserably) "I know that. 11 Hut I'm nfrald Gootgo husn t nny conscience." Put k. To Pool Hubby.-Hut I told j-ou to Itcmlzo the bill The Milliner Tho bill I sent jou on tho llrst was Itemized, cveiy Item waa thetc Mrs liny Oinclous' Vou don t un-deistanel un-deistanel me I want jou to send only 0110 Item each month, or mv husband will never pay It -Phlladelphl 1 Press. Crush Made King -.Mrs. Selldome Holme-Mr. Chinkapin Is telling all nround thnt jou and she hail a heart-to-henrt talk In one of the big elry goods stores the other day Mrs icnner Leo On.lego-AII tho foundation there Is for thut Is that sho and I weie caught In tho 1 rush nt tho ame baiguln counter one morning mil giumbled in cone, it -Chicago Tribune ?Ia.r'n;" '",. ""''' ' llon,t tnlnl I''! rnre to bo President nf tho I'nlted Htates-lf n hniel j, t,, ni sui.jeot . so much critic 11,," Y1II0 r, , , John, was til reply. "It's lot, ,en'r that jou should run for the Leglsla- IVif.l l,"I' ""'y .Mont xmy "ny "lno atte. tli.ii to jou than we do at hcmel" Atlanta Constitution. Mr. .-Ilingway-Hurely, John, jou haven t brought an one home to din- Mr .Slnngaj-buie-, I hnvo. Haven't 5011 got any grub for 'em? aits htanuMv tit ,n.,.A ... told me jnu.l bring homo 11 couple of lobsters fot dlnnei ' ' air Mangny-Well that s them In tho parlor.-I'hlladelphl 1 Press. "Well, Tommy," ,n,i ppii on h, lu.,, ftnm the oillco. 'vvlnt has been going on today'' n "Why-er-niamma worke.l one of jour slipper nnd-" or ' (inodiii-1 blin Isn't working an otbei pilrof sllp, for ,m;. nfc "" oh, 111! This vvns cm, of the 0I 1 e.nes Hhe worked It on ,, "-VMU. del.ililc Pie 'una- siHr-n"0!'1 ll?y' T"n,my -Tommy-Mo slslerll l,e down (l rol f minutes ' " " Mi i Trop-Thnt -inod n, vvs uh. wast, t nt horn. Hie I im ,,, , ,, .f11,0 lummj .giggling n.i h, ,.,,. bo tins tlmo nny I tu mi 111U " ',' that Jenki feller ll.ni ,," t.' V ' " , PhllidelphU I'rc 3. '"'' " I |